Domestic Violet

The Snap Dragon . . .

. . . crossed my path

the other day

“So how are you?”

she inquired

“Oh you know just wreaking havoc

wherever I go”   I replied and smiled sardonically

but she thought she heard me say

something about Tequila Gold          ???

and we laughed ‘til we cried when I corrected her

as neither of us have partaken of

the dreaded TE- KILL-YA

in a number of years

and soon we reminisced about

back in the day a guy she knew

would snort the salt

squeeze the lemon in his eye and

knock back the tequila shot

in that order

every time

so she went on to say

that her worst hangover

took three days while she

hitch-hiked through the Mojave

finding seashells along the way

citing how the desert was once

under an ocean of salt water

and we giggled some more when she told of

recent years

searching commercial zones for a potential business location

asking in prayer to be shown

which address

and took the NEW Man in her life

for a drive

past a building

that was GONE suddenly

as in vanished

but had been there the day before  !!!???

So she wondered what her HIGHER POWER

meant by this

crossed that one off her list

and new guy too shortly after

due to faulty wiring in

her MAN-Picker again

when after a Christmas courtship

and New Year’s Day wedding

6 weeks later separated toward divorce

and some other FLOWER Girls and I

would surely throw ourselves in front of

her car

if she mentions matrimony any time soon

but true to her name she stands strong

thru wind and rain

spunky

colorful

head full of knowledge in the use of

FLOWER Essence and alternative healing

a chat with The SNAP  will leave you

entertained

enlightened and reeling with

feeling

like when she saved my life some years ago

when I fell ill

by asking just the right

questions

and healing began with some compassion and

natural substances

and she’s a Survivor for sure

. . . from the VORTEX

like Domestic Violet and the FLOWER Girls

Semper Vi ~

Sarcastica strikes . . .

. . . a hard SARCASTIC  and head-strong blow

don't ya know she can be quite a challenge ....

...  I say  Fuck THAT and it goes on the FUCK THAT list

Sarcastica  proclaims

proudly

routinely

along with this today

. . . And fuck that Women don't get better looking with age

unlike the mEN who grow older to look EXTINGUISHED    A ha ha ha   

yeeah

and if you didn't GET IT (distinguished/extinguished)

then it goes on THE LIST-t-t-t !

And FUCK that shit where hE stands up to piss!!! 

I want to write my name in the snow!

Well ya can with a little practice Sarcastica - I  uh . . .

Yeah - Hell No fuggetabout it Violet

I ain't wearin'  no frickin' skirt for the occasion

and when did you get so BOLD and brazen

you're always such the Lady??? !!!     H'mmmmmmm?

Let me think - were ya drunk on a hayride or sumpthin'?

Well kind of . . . 

And let me guess it was some freakin' place in the Mid-west? 

And whatever the mEN  could do you could do too

so you hiked up your skirt in the bitter winter cold and put it

to the test? 

 Well yes I guess it's true . . . 

OH FUCK THAT  Domestic Violet

what am I gonna do with you!!??

Never EVER stoop to the level

of that which upset you - no matter what they freakin' do!   

So WHAT  what tHeY can do

that Women cannot

when we can do WHATEVER we want and have babies too!

Do ya see them trying to?

H'mmmmm Domestic Vi?    C'mon think about it  - h'mmmm?

But Sweet Sarcastica CYCLAMEN I was only 22

and thought it funny and fun and it's been

a long time really since I wrote my name in cursive in the snow holding my skirt up

and I only mention that you can too/also

cuz you brought it up !!!!

Fuck THAT - I did Not . . .

 . . but  . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

As I twirled by . . .

" . . . . you are somewhere else

 a voice said softly

suddenly -

            shocking me

from my reverie -

and then he spoke again -

" Wow it's like

you meditate

when you twirl your

baton

don't you "  -  he said thoughtfully

in almost a whisper as if he were thinking

aloud

and I stopped the momentum 

abruptly

with my

little finger -

extended my free hand

and

introduced myself to the young man

at the bottom of the

stairs -

where I lived briefly -

down there

in the quiet -

but

I never knew

when

what or

who

would appear

down the wooden steps

from above -

out of

nowhere -

suddenly and without

warning

cats

dogs

clothes

shoes and

a tricycle once -

independent of its

driver

who had bailed

way back up at the top

step

and was

wailing safely in

her Mother's arms

when I went up with the trike

to inquire if the driver were alright !

That day's surprise however

was a handsome young man

with amazement in his eyes -

eldest son of the

Gardenia

who lived up the stairs in 2002

and down the stairs flew

laundry

empty boxes

and things someone up there

didn't know what else to do with

in a cleaning

frenzy

and people of all shapes and sizes

but mostly the

Gardenia

would appear periodically

in her flamboyant kind of

little-girl style -

back when she was

still alive -

when

she was my friend and I lived in her house

before her life was taken by

a knife-wielding man

and among her family and friends

it was her oldest son I had not yet met 

while his younger 19 year-old  brother

lived on my ceiling

day and night

LOL

and the eldest one

startled me -

pleasantly so

once I got the adrenaline hit to stop -

surprised me with his

presence and

insight

slightly out of my peripheral and

to the right

and what he didn't know was how instinctively

I almost hit him

with my baton

and I had to

adjust

real quick

in a second

split -

and like the Gardenia

he had the blondest hair and bluest eyes

now wide in amazement

at the trance-like state

he found me in

and I thanked him for his

observation that I was in total

relaxation

as I spun around the room and effortlessly

threw a 17+ inch baton into the air

and caught it again      twirling at top speed

on the way down

to my

feet

and I was

coming up from there

when I saw him standing there

out the corner of my

eye

and to this day I am amazed

that someone found the words

and gave to me

an outside look at blissful

meditation

when all I know is that I don't know

when that is going on

and the hard part of attempting intentionally

a state of meditation is that

' if you know you are in it

then you are

not '  - to paraphrase Siddhartha  ( the Buddha )

and to see this and say so was

most amazing           

coming from one so young -

maybe pushing 22 at the time -

and he asked me to show him how to

twirl

so I did

and I emphasized the

ALLOW as being key -

rather than MAKING the baton move

as I LET IT roll

through my fingers -

once the momentum is started -

by letting the heavy top

at 12 o'clock

drop

from the point of

balance

in the palm of my hand

and it has a life of its own then -

continuous energy 

effortlessly

if I quickly           

    keep my fingers

          out of the way

    as I give it the

subtlest

guidance

and neither of us could have known

there would come a time we gather again

for his Mother's funeral -

a Woman who would never have willingly

left her young Sons

or her Life on this Earth -

a FLOWER Girl among us

who did not

SURVIVE

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

at its worst -

not ever

forgotten

by

Domestic Violet

and the FLOWER Girls

and we hope that her family and friends

have found some kind of peace by now

and particularly pray for her eldest boy

as there was initially a very

violently self-destructive reaction

to her death -

like returning his Grandmother's car to her

with bullet holes in it

from the bad company he began keeping

after Gardenia was taken from us

and

of course he was in a rage all the time at his own

POWERLESSNESS -

understandably so -

and I haven't seen him for a very long time

so I don't know

but I hope he's whole and happy

like his Mother wanted for him

and maybe meditating

somewhere else

while twirling

his

baton . . . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

A gathering . . .

of FLOWER Girls

with Daisy Dukesup at the west

Sweet Sarcastica Cyclamen due north

east-side Domestic Violet

and Snap Dragon to the south - positioned nice and neat

on the FLOWER Girls HOT SEAT !

It began with western illumination -

the fire on the mountain kind -

followed by an icy northern chill

and eventually eastern breeze  whipped up

and everything went still

and though the dragon attempted

to cover southern eyes -

there came an admission without

defamation -

unthinkingness realized -

and never once did the icy wind bring hail

though chilling to the bone -

and no wildfire sprang from the steady western

stare

and never did elevation in

tone or decibel

or unnecessary precipitation

prevail

and not a blade of grass nor hair was harmed

for the sun will always shine

and only loving truth was spoken

to expand the southern 

horizon -

let the circle be

unbroken . . .

Domestic Violet

and the FLOWER Girls

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

On the first day of

Spring

the Rose

will be wed -

I heard through

the FLOWER Girls

grapevine -

and though it won't be

the first time for her -

she's 64 so maybe it will be

the last time instead !

She met a Man through mutual

acquaintance -

to live out the rest of her days with !

And we hope that all of her dreams and wishes

come to fruition with sweetness and light in her

ROSY loving tradition . . .

she's a  Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Semper Vi ~

Domestic Violet and the FLOWER Girls

 

Barack Obama's Mama . . .

died from cancer

at age 53 -

" more concerned about paying her medical bills

than with getting well " - he said

Will he make it different for us all ?

As giver of care to

aging constituents

I am here to say

the problem

is astronomical

and why should people

who have worked their lives away -

paid taxes for decades -

contributed to our economy -

have to worry excessively

about money

at the end of life ???

Barack's Mother -

a single white mother -

gave to her son - despite "having not"

whatever it takes to be

running for President of these United States

and is proud I am certain -

meanwhile John  McCain's Mom

looks pretty sure her son will

get the job

but I rather doubt

with McCain clout

that she is stressing over her

retirement fund

and her son is not either -

the  "haves"  usually are not -

but Gladiola was on the phone daily

when I was giving her care -

with Doctors -

Insurance companies and

Care giving agencies -

and this she did while sick in bed !

Other patients have similar stories and mostly

their family members and care givers

try to alleviate their stressing for them !

Why can't ill people be left alone to heal ?

I am a care giver because

I know what it is to be

sick

and broken and

broke -

stressing over money is just a way of life

for some of us

but

it never gave me a dime or any more time -

counter-productive actually -

shortening our lives -

while our own government has us living in a

field of land mines over currency

currently !

" In order to fix our health care system

we've got to fix Washington " - Obama said

And what will it be for you and me

when WE are the dying elderly ?????

It's a tall order to right the Washington wrongs

now that they have admitted being broken

and hopefully

someone who gives a care

can get it done !

As the money madness reaches critical mass

will the problem solvers attempt repair by

" driving down the very same path "

from which we've come ??????

There needs to be something new

under the American sun . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

Daisy Dukesup asks . . .

. . . when will we all

get it

that Poke and Run Guys

really do

exist ?

They will  do ANYTHING

no matter how long it

takes them

and once they get the job done

they're

gone

and that's it !!!!!!

NO

they didn't want to

get to know you -

and NO

they aren't your greatest

next best friend -

they're simply gonna lie to and

LAY you

or yours perhaps

and disappear from your

radar

if they can

in the end

just like a hit and run !!!!!!

I've seen everything by now Violet -

from the "parked in puberty" types

some who groom it for years

to active pedophilia practitioners who will

ingratiate themselves into your family

if they can

and you can never tell who is

a baby raper

so we need please to protect our loved ones

if we can !

Did the poke and run guys

in your life

start off by acting very familiar -

gentlemanly

and holding your hand Domestic Violet ?

Did they come across as real supportive -

with a lot of new-age sensitive guy

stufff ?

Yes I really saw one of them as

friendly Daisy Dukesup

but eventually I knew his

attention was ... and I could not ignore it

his intention

wasn't about me

and before anything further

could happen

I let him go and

you know how hard

that

has been for me Daisy !!!!!

Yes Violet I remember well

the difficulty

in  "BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO " -

and

I was not so able to see

so early

or clearly 

that a man I was once engaged to

was a sick piece of work

but when I found out

I proceeded to pass out

fliers describing

the history of the

PERP

and I passed them around

every gathering of people

in every city and town

I could get to

to tell

the whole world !

Geeeez Daisy D

when your Dukes are up

you don't mess around !!!!! . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meandering . . .

Morning Glory

trailing

traveling

      unraveling

co-dependently

entwined

woven and wound

soundly around

Grab Ass Crab Grass

who has directed her path

over half

her young life

taking her higher than she's

ever been

into greener than she's

ever seen

only to die off

out from under her

gently trailing

vine

and open-faced she loses

place as

bind-weed snakes its way

around and

tries to choke her

out

without a sound

and Grab Ass Crab Grass

is nowhere to be found

but she would

argue

that he's firmly planted at

her feet

she sees

and I would counter after

pausing . . .

that

Crab Grass is very deeply rooted

underground

and as is surfacing

right up next to some

other

Flower

as she speaks !

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

I never said . . .

. . . that I wasn't

human !

Did you ever

hear me say that Daisy Dukesup ?

Nope - never did Violet -

you are as apt to

get sick -

need help -

trip and fall

and not return a call

as I am !

Thank you Daisy ~

And I never said I wasn't

crazy !

Have I ever

said such a thing

Sweet Sarcastica Cyclamen ?

No Dom Vi you never have -

but I did hear you

mention

you've been

dented

affected

( but you are being

refined in recovery -

as your character reveals ) -

by those

who are crazy enough to

actually think they are

completely SANE !!!

FUCK THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -

when NO ONE

on this planet is

a perfect specimen

except maybe the ONE that was

crucified !

Thank you Sarcastica ~

Well I'm certain

I've never professed

to have never been

a BITCH !!! -

when necessary -

now have I - Morning Glory Miss ?

You never have Domestic Violet

and I am quite sure

you can take care of

biz

but your bark is much worse

than your bite !

And I don't believe I claim to

hate ! -

not anyone or anything ( hold the olives please ! ) -

do I Calendula ?

No no Semper Vi -

hate is not a big part

of your vocabulary -

not even the abusers

and rapists

have your ire

and I don't know why

you seem to

pity them

instead -

it just won't wrap around my

head !

Thank you Calend - I will get back to you on that later ~

And I'm quite sure I never said

I wasn't

wrong !

Although it was difficult

sometimes in my life -

but it just took looking

long and hard with a different

perspective -

swallowing false pride

to realize

sometimes I wasn't

right -

like everybody else !

What do you see Tiger Lily ?

I see you are quicker to

admit

when you have erred

than some of the people I know

and I'm not so fast

yet when

my false pride prevents it

but it's a place you have helped me

grow toward !

Thank you Tiger Lil ~

And I'm sure I never have

uttered

that negativity should

befall anyone !

Even if they have harmed me

I hate violence if I hate anything at all

as I know you do too

and it's been a quarter of a

century

Rosy Rose

since you and I befriended -

so I trust you will

tell me the truth !

No Violet dear -

you never respond like

a typical vengeful tire-slasher -

a liar

cheat or thief

you are not -

you are someone whose heart has been

stomped on

you are a Woman who's been battered

a lot -

but there's not a mean bone in your body

and why are you asking us

all these questions dear -

are you not sure ?

I am feeling confused by

responses

from others who have been in my midst -

when I'm thought to

say -

think -

feel -

do and

be about -

other than I

said -

thought -

felt or feel

or am motivated by

from the core of me inside -

like they're talking

at -

with -

around -

about -

someone that is

clearly not

ME -

so I thought I would

check with you Ladies

to see

if

I am losing

my

goddamn mind !!!!!!!! . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Interview/It's all about ME ! . . .

~~~THE INTERVIEW ~~~~~~~~

with Domestic Violet and the FLOWER Girls

written rightly by Writ Writely

Editor-in-chief for Written Writely Enterprises ~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Writ Writely:  I am here tonight

with Domestic Violet and the FLOWER Girls

to ask them why -

beginning in October 2006 ( DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS month ) -

why do you ALL -

write about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - do tell us why ?

and may I call you Dom Vi ?

Domestic Violet:  Most certainly Writ Writely

and I'll just call you

Writty

alrighty ???

Writ:  Well only my Grandma calls me that but

by all means Dom Vi - as you please !

And so tell why you write what you write so rightly -

no - that's my last name - Oh my - well uh -

Domestic Violet tell us why please !!!

Domestic Violet:  Well Writ Writely -

we write rightly

sometimes nightly

non-fictionally but in a setting of anonymity

with a voice and tone to perhaps inspire

CONSCIOUSNESS

and its raising

regarding ALL forms of

inhumanity and unnecessary roughness

in the world

and perhaps when there's a chance -

to entertain you as well !!!

WE have survived a living hell -

which is

no laughing matter and yes it is

" all about me " and those who wish to contribute -

and it's all nothing but

the truth

Writ

but

we've had the opportunity to turn life

around

and we share easily our experiences

with the agenda to maybe

spare even one person -

one who may find hope

faith and courage among us and

please know we

" give a care " for the sensitive nature

of the matter of  DOMESTIC VIOLENCE -

so please feel no more shock at our levity

than our deadly earnest -

we are out the other side -

we are Free . . .

Writ:  But Domestic Violet is any one of us

really free ?

Explain to me your

 

liberty ?!?!?

Domestic Violet:  Our freedom is an inside job -

it's from within that freedom comes

where Peace and Intuition dwell -

in that same space !

I'm free from all the ghosts and

guilts Domestic Violence creates -

saved from

death

many times and I have survived

with little time left to

do differently my life !

" So unconcerned a tree must be to never bother

trying

a different way of getting green like paint

or theft

or lying . . . "

( 1990 Me - from The Trust of Trees )

Another paradigm is in play -

this ain't ( y'all know how I feel about this word )

the same old stage !!!

I survived to know the difference between

VICTIM and VOLUNTEER !

I survived the hands of

Persons and even

Places

Institutions

Alcohol and drugs

tried to take me

down !

This forum is about the

CHANGES

required to survive Domestic Violence

and come out the other side

better not bitter !!!!!!!!

Collectively the FLOWER Girls and I

put to good use our painful experience of

ABUSE 

that we may help

one life

not

be lost . . .

Writ:  Dom Vi please tell our audience how often

Domestic Violence occurs ?

Domestic Violet:  In America alone a Woman is

battered into countable hospital records -

every 4 seconds -

just wrap your mind around it - take time to

ponder this !!!

It's all fine if you don't mind

OUR WOMEN being beaten and killed !

I - along with many OTHERS -

DO mind !!!!

I mind so much Writty - the shitty

treatment one human can cruelly

put on another -

the bondage Women and children live in

right here in our own country Writ -

where we do NOT attend to our own !!!

I mind a lot that in every other house on the block

this goes on !

Know that I am

witness

scribe and messenger -

alignment of the will

with the Spirit of the

Universe

produces verse

for the World - to herald or

to hate ( so fashionable now )

I have been gifted with love of

verse and line -

meter -

colorful descriptive language -

and so

DO as I was created to do

and be -

don't shoot the messenger please -

it's all about me !

 

Writ:  Dom Vi - are you saying all these things

you write nightly have actually happened to you ?

Domestic Violet:  Why yes Writty

exactly !

No - I'm not full of shit or

talking story !

No - I'm not hearing voices and making shit up !!!!

Writty - is there something to lose

being honest with you ? With anyone ?

There is ALWAYS discretion

for without it -

truth is just another weapon !

You are so witty Writty - what say you ?

Writ: Violet dear as you must know

not everyone can deal with REALITY -

the truths you tell - of terror and

violation - and

recovery -

this is not everyday conversation

and most folks are in some phase of

denial -

running quickly away from any kind of

honest disclosure -

evading and

avoiding at all costs !

They "don't want to talk about it "

so do you and the FLOWER Girls

sometimes see your cause as lost ???

Domestic Violet:  Absolutely not Writ Writely -

in fact we think it real timely to write rightly

sometimes nightly

and real kindly to our best ability

we give y'all the real skinny Writty -

written with just a little spot of

poetic humor here and there and

minimal punctuation

seems to accent each carefully chosen

phraseology -

where minimal psychology makes room Writ

for the underlying spirituality

about it -

all for you and you and

you -

for my children - and for theirs

and for those who have survived and

for those who

have NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!

Writ:  Wow Violet - You Go Girl !

I mean girls !!!!!

Sorry FLOWER Girls - I'm not ignoring you !

Tell me if you will

about Violet -

what kind of girl is she

anyhow ???

Sweet Sarcastica Cyclamen:  FUCK That Shit Writ !

I'm gonna put this on my " FUCK THAT " list

First of all she's not a girl !

No wait -

Writ Writely - put your pen down !!!

What I mean is she's a WOMAN -

not a child - although she was once

and now the Wild child is

all grown up - with a heart of Gold !!!!!

Don't tell me - let me guess -

you are an idiot material type or

a  male Chauvinist Pig who

looks at Women as some kind of backward kid ?

Is that you ?

Are you that kind of

wrong Writely ???

Hey Daisy Dukesup - I think we got us

an " oinker " here -

whaddya say  Dais ?

Daisy Dukesup:  Sarcastica please tell me it

is not so - he better not be or I'll . . .

Domestic Violet:  Ladies ladies please !

Daisy put your dukes down and

Sarcastica please consider

saving your energy for where it is

needed !

If Writ Writely is so afflicted

you know it will take more than a word

from us to turn that around !

Some men are here to teach us something -

along with idot material types -

perhaps Writ Writely is one ?

H'mmmm ?

We are ALL works in progress - Writ Writely -

here in the world at this time to

give a care if we dare !

Rose: That's right Writ Writely -

and LOVE is all we need

to change the WORLD !

Morning Glory:  And willingness

open-mindedness and

honesty

are essential and

indispensible Writ Writely !

Domestic Violet is a

brave soul

whose tenacity helped her

SURVIVE

to shine light on the

HORRENDOUS problem of

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE !!!

Domestic Violet:  Thank you - Ladies

and let us thank Writ Writely

for writing rightly about us tonight

and perhaps we'll interview with you

again sometime Writ Writely -

meanwhile The FLOWER Girls

and I

will be rightly

sometimes nightly

writing up a storm

y'all ~

You can find more of our stories

in many categories !!! .  .  .

Diamond days and

thanks to you all . . .

~ In Memory of the Gift Store Gardenia and her killer's wife ~

Domestic Violet and The FLOWER Girls

Semper Vi ~

Survivors . . . from the VORTEX

Dear Reader . . .

. . . whoever you

may be -

I feel the need to

convey

to you

an occasional prompting

to apologize

for any

disappointment

you may be feeling

when reading

Domestic Violet and The FLOWER Girls !

There may have been an

expectation

of domesticity

on a slightly different scale -

the conversion tables for

measurement

comes to mind -

like Helpful hints from Heloise

and items of

that nature !

You may have hoped for

the inside scoop

into what we eat and

when we poop

and

the contents of

our daytimers

but

instead we give you

the contents of

our hearts and heads !

We bring our spirit and

humanity -

abandoning

false pride ~

Personally I would rather

tell you

how many times I've moved

which is right up there with

how many times I've

loved - Dom Vi

The FLOWER Girls and I

have lived no

sheltered lives

and we are but a few small specks -

a few small voices

floating within

CYBERSPACE

where you find

us-

per serendipity

or deliberately -

and

free .....

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

A Senior Blessing . . .

. . . came to my life today

when I entered the home of

my next  "Giving a Care" case ~

" I couldn't do it " - Daisy Dukes-up exclaimed to me

" I don't know how you do it - it would be so hard I just know it -

I would get attached and it would hurt when they finally GO -

how you do it I just don't know !!! "

( She provides daycare for 5 young children under the age of 4 each day

and is a Senior herself - according to her, and we are the same age so

I guess that means I am a Senior too !!!!!!!!!) ~~~~~~~~~~~

" I couldn't do it " - I told Daisy Dukes-up

" I don't know how you do it - it would be so hard I just know it -

I would get attached and it would hurt when they finally go

to school and don't come back anymore -

how you do it I just don't know !!! " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can GIVE A CARE because I know the hardship

of physical malady all too well -

a thick file has been created in my lifetime

at the White Coats offices -

( and today for Health and Wellness

that is NOT where I go ! )

so

I can be of service to those leaving this world

because I have come to terms with the fact that

I

will be leaving myself ~

NO ONE GETS OUT OF THIS LIFE ALIVE !

So, I am Caring once again

for a Hospice patient - a wonderful 85 year old man

with the same official  D.N.R. orders I have seen before

posted on many refrigerator doors-

" DO NOT RESUSCITATE "   ~~~~~~~~~~~~

An octogenerian who I am sure will relate to me the most memorable events of

his life and share the wisdom of his years -

as They ALL DO !!!!

And some have emptied themselves of the darkest secrets

we ALL would do well to unload before we GO !

And I have great respect for their confidences and will take them

to my grave ~ or urn, that is -

no box in the ground for me and

NO  CHEMO-THERAPY !!!!!!! please ~

I have spent many so many days in the CHEMO rooms

with my husband - a Cancer patient

who agreed to allow Big Pharma and the A.M.A.

to do their big BUSINESS deal and

torture him to death to try to

keep him alive ~

By the time he died

THEY - the Heart/Lung specialists and

their Departments and Laboratories -

Cancer surgeons and their endless painful biopsies

and open chest surgery and I.C.U. for 14 days

and Doctors of Oncology and their

endless mixtures of intravenous

toxic

CHEMO poisons

and radiation

along with Medical equipment companies

and the endless deliveries of giant OXYGEN spheres

and miles of tubing and piles of paperwork generated

from the BUSINESS of CANCER ~

They had each taken a chunk of the pretty blue plastic

---------------------- Insurance card -

(assurance of our inevitable death - paid for in

installments)  -

provided by a job well done for the required length of time

at my place of employment and

they ALL took a chunk of the Man -

to no avail ~

And since the days of giving care to him

I find my time best spent in the care of fellow

human beings

who have D.N.R.'s on refrigerator doors -

whose lives are winding down and

who have exhausted all extraordinary measures ~

They tell me stories and I make their meals and

do their laundry - tidying up as I go

and I help them to their bathrooms

if they can still get up or deal with the process of elimination

if they cannot

and they make me laugh and they call me

"Chief" and

I make them laugh and tend to all that is needed

and make sure they get whatever endless

PHARMAcueticals they are on

and try to

in the short time I am with them -

fill their day with comfort and ease

like I will want and need when it is

ME . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

Yes you . . .

. . . and when she

stepped away

did you

get it ?

She used to like you

but

your

small mind

changed hers

and then your big mouth

made it final

and yes I'm talking

to you !!! - Morning Glory here !

Yes it's all about you

you - no, not YOU - the other YOU -

to fulfill your need

for it to be !

Hidden

behind others

hiding

in plain sight -

you dug a hole

so deep

there is no coming out

now

and how will you say

to

all you deceived

that you needed them

to believe

she was so wrong

so you could feel

strong

cuz you're weak and

she used to like you

too

until you grew

to subterfuge

and passive aggressive moves -

sadly recognizable

to her and me, too !

She used to like your

wit -

until she was bit

by it

dripping with

judgment

arrogant in its

denial

while all you survey

in your narcisstic style

are on trial

and it was all set up

by you . . .

YES You ! 

EEeeeiiioooooouuu sick sick you !  - MORNING GLORY ranted

Now now there there

I consoled  Miss Morning Glory 

it's alright - all is as it must be

so quiet down now and wait for the sound

of gravity

naturally

what goes up

must come down . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

The Passing . . .

. . . of a mother sister daughter

wife and

mother-in-law

has been brought to my attention

via Typepad

who let me know

via an e-mail account I forgot I even had

and intuitively looked there

out of no where

This in response to post G.I. Jane

Hmmmmmm ?

I am certainly sorry for those left to grieve

but what does it mean when

issued by the unfriendly in response to

the subject of SELF-PITY ?????????

I can only speculate regarding the motivation

so I cannot respond to an unknown quantity

and therefore will suffice to say

that some concerned must still indeed be grieving

and will never " GET OVER IT "

but merely after a time

learn to live with the absence of such a lovely loved one ~

That said - I feel it appropriate to elaborate on the subject matter

which prompted such response in comments

that I seldom look into

being disinterested in opinions regarding DOMESTIC VIOLET

while busy writing and

as All are encouraged to take what is helpful or enlightening

and leave the rest ~

I expound on subjects after much painful and joyful

personal experience

that I am unafraid to share today ~

Self-pity kills

but

is a very human response to

violation

deprivation

subjugation

exploitation

It kills when we live there -

parked in the self-soothing

bitter morass it becomes

if we do not get past it -

the makings of self-destruct

from the inside out ~

Having stepped out of the muck and mire

please know that I share my life with great detachment

for the purpose of enlightening those

who believe sad strange things about the nature of

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE !

It's just what happened to me -

that brought me to now

and some of it is tragic and some is real

comedic ~

Isn't that just LIFE or

did someone lie to me ?

again ?

Poor me !

Poor me !!!

Pour me a drink

is where it took me and

into the hands of yet another abusive man

where I became someone I could only hate !

I don't live there any more

but wish I had changed my mind sooner

and maybe then I would have two good eyes

and not have to battle continuing consequences

of physical damage ~

George Bernard Shaw said it best

" Progress is impossible without change

and those who cannot change their minds

cannot change anything "

So I changed my mind

regarding many things

including me

including you

and I too have been excluded -

( I can't help but notice you were not included in the notice )

when my husband died apparently he wasn't married

according to his family

OH WELL !

It is their deal to deal with their own negativity

and limited view of unknown quantities

I certainly can't feel sorry for me any longer

when I know today that we all have our boomerangs to bear

It is the nature of all energy to return back

from where it was sent

I pity those I resented

have repented ( which means to turn and change in the biblical sense )

and pray for the poor little fuckers with much compassion

so I can walk free and do and be

what I was created to do and be

with maximum efficiency ~

A pretty startling change from the Wild Child days

and like I said before -

the only two things anyone can count on in this life

are that THINGS CHANGE and HAIR GROWS !

So we all can enjoy the results of whatever energy

we send out

and might think about that which we set into motion

having a positive end result

for a change ~

Life is so phenomenal really that

it is simply a shame when

energy is mis-directed

leaving some behind

in the forward momentum

of time ~

As the passing of anyone is regretful and

inevitable

it is also simply a transformation

a release of the EARTH SUIT

freeing the spirit to return to source ~

There is no death -

energy does not die

it only becomes something else ~

And if I had not chosen to change my life

I would still be in the hands of

King Alcohol and another sick pitiful Man -

in the bitter morass of sick SELF-PITY

drunk and beaten and desperate and dying slowly

and oh pardon me for not being willing

to give my whole life to the first one !

Just think - I could have 35 years of Domestic what ???

with one man by now !

Instead I had what I had and

if you read all of Domestic Violet

you might get a clue that it was

like all things

very very good as well as very sad and bad ~

" The only difference between a flower

and a weed is a judgment " - Barry Neil Kaufman

What say you - FLOWER Girls ?

You may just be weeds after all

according to some

whose eyes are veiled and/or

blackened like yours used to be -

some whose limited view

can't see the forest or

the trees ~

Continue to blossom girls

walk freely

fear not

but " rather find strength

in what remains behind " - William Wordsworth

Domestic Violet and the FLOWER Girls

strongly suggest as survivors of LIFE

and its DOMESTICITY

that anyone who wishes to

can find purpose in non-violent endeavor

and above all   

" Hoo -ya and kiss my stick "

never give up - like G.I. Jane did not

Wishing PEACE and condolences to all

struggling to survive loss . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three Chucks and a Bob

. . . like I mentioned in post Just Call Her Vi ~

in The FLOWER Girls section

from the Rose Memoirs ~

Hi it's me ROSE and

I have a Violet story to tell

in my Rosy way

cuz the Violet needs a break from

the keyboard today:

We could only giggle

the day we heard her say -

" I married men with names I hate

and three of them the same !!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

She told of how Bob Throb Metaphor young and sweet

spelled B-O-B forward or back

was not her favorite name at all

but he came with it and she was in LOVE and so

became Violet Metaphor then

and was no longer Violet Vibrantsunsets at all

and then we belly laughed out loud

real hard

when she listed off the rest !

Three Chucks in a row came next

said Domestic Violet ~

I'm serious as a heart attack !

And that name sounds like the noise

made by having one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I should have run away when the second one

came along

But no

I just thought is was a card from the strange hand

dealt to me and

the third time was not a charm ~

The first one she calls Numb Chuck -

high every day of her Violet Hues life

unwilling to play in the park with his kids

cuz the sunlight was much too bright ~

And the next she named Dumb Chuck cuz

he was dumb enough to

take her for a ride

and thought she'd never know it

and dumb enough to think he could still

be with Violet Whirlwind

after he almost destroyed her

when he told the truth about it !

Duh !!!!!!

And it was over in a

flash ~

The last one was a Man's Marine

and thought she needed "schooling"

as though she were a backward child or

something - tee hee !

and a Drill Chuck according to Violet Vibratoson

Semper Fi !

Semper Vi !

The Flower Girls and I laughed and rolled and cried and

we thought that we would die !!!!!!

We begged her

" Tell us no, you didn't really " and

" You're kidding with us right ? "

The best part of Violet is the sense she has

of the humor about the past episodes in her Violet life

Three Chuck's and a Bob - that's right !

she said

laughing all the way

at herself

and the sum total of some of

her choices ~

There are other names I don't like so much -

some who could become

my next ex-husbands I guess ? !!??

Right ? ? ?

It's what makes her our Violet -

honestly hardy and hearty  !

Rose,

truly . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

Petunia and Violet the Vamper . . .

 . . . Petunia pays a pricey price

for her personality

when she's been planted here and

planted there

perhaps with sun and love

or not !!!

She gets mixed up with the

Pansy

a lot

Petunia hybrida types include

( P.h. grandiflora ) whose large single or

double flowers may be bordered

streaked or fringed

and the ( P.h. multiflora )

is a quite prolific bloomer

surrounded by a passel of children

usually

producing

a kaleidescope of color family varieties

if you give her full sun

and she'll give you constant flowers if

you prune her consistently

but not so much when it's

hot

when she needs plenty of water

and TLC

The proud Petunia in our FLOWER Girls

group

is a hoot as in tee-hee -

a funny friendly one who

once rescued me from

a brute

and I appreciate most

her lovely voice

her humor and her candor !!!

She calls a selfish man's sex in the night

ANTI - MICLACTIC

and calls me Violet the VAMPER

cuz she thinks like most others might

that I walk like I do

needing attention undue or spotlight

( projecting herself onto my character )

when

in fact my ass is cracked

clean through

from the waist to the

now unstable ball at the end -

where most vertebrae are fused

in most folks -

shrapnel ensues

from attempting to ride the train

with the boys

in my young Wild Violet days -

and while trying to get off a train quickly gathering speed

I didn't know what to do so

I jumped and richoceted off my feet

up against a garage

across the street

on my seat ~

I was 13 or 14 or somewhere near there

with no brain in my young Wild Violet head

but I was determined to follow the lead

of the skeptical seemingly superior snearing

male gender a.k.a. the neighborhood boys

and do whatever they did and well -

enjoying successful endeavor in their company

most days

proving girls could do whatever they want

and have babies too !

So there !

So an accident happened instead

that sent me rolling home (literally) to my bed

where I stayed under cover for the

rest of the summer and did not breath a word

to my curious Mother until I was so old

not a thing she could do !

An after-the-fact blindsider - the kind

no Mother wants to hear !!!!

To this day I have one hip up higher

and forward

and the same leg is shorter by an inch

so it looks like I'm shakin my booty

to Petunia and Glory

and others admit

when in fact I have no butt to speak of -

why on earth would I be vamping it   ?!!!????

( Petunia and others who are amply blessed

have offered to share some over the years !

Yes - that's just what I need - a butt transplant

borrowed from you ! )

I am far away now

from

the pain that it gave me

for many too many

so many many years

but it forever reminds me

with one pant leg longer

Do not FOLLOW an IDIOT -

off the end of a cliff

or anywhere else for that matter

and when you get hurt

tell your Mother or someone

even though you may be 'grounded' for life

and especially TELL SOMEONE if you get hurt

by a man -

the truth might save your life

ultimately

so it is all I have for you

now -

we're as sick as we are secretive

and if you don't believe it

remember that what is kept in darkness

always comes into light ~

I paid a price for my silence

with a pain in my ass

24/7

most days of my life

and learned to walk with a broken pelvis

that got no medical attention

because I was prone to laying around in bed anyway

like teenagers will and I slept as much as possible right about then

so I went undetected

and I  " learned to push pain away

in an unhealthy manner "

according to a Doctor who looked at the X-ray

many years later and said . . . it could be tricky

giving birth to your babies

and this is a very old injury -

just what the hell happened to you ???

By then I had healed all wrong and with an

S - pattern  clear up to my neck and

became unable to respond appropriately

to the never-not-gone

pain

when a sane person would have

never got on

the train . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You keep saying . . .

. . . I would never do

THAT 

and you seem so sure

when you say the words

BUT

You don't know

what you would never

do

not until it

happens to you !

the Tiger of the Lilies reminds

from some early

FLOWER Girls posts ~

as I shared at my table

the story of

loving my daughter

enough

to let her

know

her family and

I held the power to

decide

to let her go

in the summertime

to find herself

in them -

to see why she

walks like

him

and to find the mirror

surprise

in her cousin's eyes

and to come to

her own

conclusions

about things ~

I know them too

her family

so I feel them in

her sense of humor -

and who would she be

without them?

And who would I have been to

deny her ?

A regal kind of spit-fire Poppy

with a bit of prankster

grandmother

in her -

she's never given me a

moment of REAL trouble

in her whole life ~

A great faith was in place

the kind you know if

you have it -

great enough to release my

embrace !

A great trust

put to test

in the end was the best

when she returned

repeatedly

and thanked me . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

After Battery . . .

. . . when the survivor is moving on

beyond violence

the likelihood that another

domestic situation will occur

in another relationship

is quite high

no matter how hard you try

to go on with your life -

start anew -

telling yourself it won't happen again

to you

Another Guy

is not the answer !!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

Another guy will sometimes

feel entitled to do what the last one

did

" You're used to it, aren't you ? "

was another guy's drunken excuse

after his first surprise ambush

resulted in breaking my ribs !!!!!!!!!!!!

When I cried

asking in stunned disbelief

as I fought for my breath

" How can you do this

when you KNOW what has happened -

and where I have already been ???????? "

Precisely the point -

he knew

because I told him

unable to restrain my

compunction to tell

the truth -

too early

my life story

because I didn't know yet

I should not !!!

And by the way he was the last man  (YAYYYYY !!!)

to get away with

the HIT  !!!

When someone already knows

that you have  " taken "  a beating

and even more than once

it seems much easier for them to

cross that line I've noticed

especially if

they already had a propensity to

anyway

and

I did not take the time required

to get to know                            any man

before I lived with and/or

became his wife or

girlfriend

and I could find an abusive man

if I were blindfolded

in the dark

because the truly nice guys

were not so attractive to me

cuz

I liked the Bad Boys from the start

or perhaps cuz I was surrounded by them

starting with my Dad and

did not know the

difference !!!

Another man is not the answer

because he's not the problem

either !

You will find another abuser

without meaning to

until you deal with

YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This I'm telling you from my own

painfully extensive experience

so you may take it or leave it

but think about the message

you sent to the abuser

who first " got away with it "

and you were there for it

again

again

and thought another " nicer " guy would

make the difference

down the road -

( if you live to get that far ! )

If you keep doing what you do

you will get what you've always

gotten

I guarantee

It's up to YOU !!!!!!!!!!!

And I would have to know a man

or any one for that matter

a longer time to share

personal information of

such delicate nature -

the kind I owe to no one

now -

long enough to establish his

capacity for

foe or friend

and the size of his

heart

and mind ~

This is only one of the changes

I needed to make

to heal up from DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

beyond mere survival ~

It has nothing to do with

gender in the end

however

when the same entitlement

can be present with Women -

it is not confined unfortunately

just to the realm of

Men !!!

People in general are very judgey

on the subject of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE -

still blaming the one who got

hit

especially if they are a hitter themselves

feeling quite superior and

comfortably lacking empathy

- especially if they are free from abuse -

so sure they are that they would never

        " Let it "

happen to them

as Morning Glory Stories

in the FLOWER Girls category

reflects

and I've found others who

share similar sentiments

in the rhetoric of the trivialities

of their typical everydayness

and they have contempt

for the battered party

who must not have enough

SELF-RESPECT or whatever

in the first place

and is also obviously

not deserving of humane treatment

demonstrated by the hitter -

becoming easier for others to follow suit and

target or

reject !!!

So it's easy from what I've seen

for others to be lazy

and cruelly display the

herd mentality

and show their ignorant

lack of compassion and

absence of original thought

with evidence how easily they are

influenced by powerful

suggestion -

taking their cues from others and

treating you badly

TOO !!!

After all -

aren't you used to it ? . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

Moms take all the heat . . .

. . . and I blamed mine too

like we ALL do

so I'm  ON  to every angle

of the dangle

of the lameness of the

game -

but you got more of me

than I got of her

and you will continue to

and changing anything

by the way

starts with you -

progress is occurring

generationally speaking

and perfection is an illusion

which in reality  does not

exist ~

said Petunia

of her Mother

to her adult child ~

You all got less than

perfectly ideal

depending of course

what you're comparing it to

but what you got was

really real

and as

self-less

as possible

Oh there were times I could have

done more -

like ALL Mothers lament

in the end -

but no one will ever Love you

more

not your Father or

your brother or

your sister

husband/wife or

friend !

It's a Mother's Right

we defend

and when you pause to

criticize

realize

EVERYONE complains about

their Mother

looking for excuse and

alibi

for why they are

the way they are

and seldom blame their Father -

but then it is easier to pick on

the one who's not

stronger

or wasn't gone longer

or whatever your criterion

for deciding who is

wronger (tee-hee) ~

She's the one who made sure you did not die

when you were a shark-eyed toddler

and rocked you off to sleep

which you can't remember

while she fed you at her breast

and you were the lucky one

to come to her and not some other

Mother ~

The same one becomes

scape-goated

fodder

later

when your basic human nature

and inherent flaws therein

you deny and try

when in a

jam

to establish blame

taking no responsibility

whatsoever in the matter !!!

It must have been your

Mother

who landed you in jail

and pissed you off when she

wouldn't make bail

yeah it must have been

your Mom

who

made you drink and drive around

and lie and cheat

and steal

and fail the breath-alyzer

and certainly she

was remiss

when you were too young to kiss

and you did it

anyway

and erupted with MONO

and interrupted in class and

made the teacher so mad

you were suspended for the day !!!

And of course it was your

MOM

who let the gunk build on your teeth

and left your bedroom all a mess

making sure your homework

never got done -

she also never washed

a thing -

never made you eat breakfast or

take a bath and

that's why today

IT'S ALL HER FAULT

just ask

the average person

and they will

repeat that their Mother

made them who they are

today -

and sometimes it's complimentary -

if they have a bit of healthy self-concern

but if they're filled with insecurity

and loath themselves

to boot

and haven't made right

their wrongs just yet

somehow they imply

that the reason why

has to do with the imperfections

of their MOM !

So let me know how it is for you

when your child

grows into an adult ( !?!?! )

and turns

telling all who will listen

that his/her Mother's love is

why he/she is such

an interesting specimen

of non-responsibility -

still unwilling to live up to

his/her own measuring stick

of acceptability

and it's all Mom's fault

because of course

establishing blame is as far as

most of us get -

we're so brilliant . . .

Petunia said in closing

to her child

and called me up to say -

It is so

not fair

after all that care

of many little pattering

pajama feet

and no help and no money and

no sleep

that Mothers

take all the heat . . . !!!

And then she cried like the baby her child

used to be ?!?!!!!

There there sweet Petunia

I consoled her and said -

If it's any consolation

they all will grow up and have children

themselves . . . !!!!!!!!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

Which Hand ?

she said

Which hand again ?

said the Burr-face Sunflower

from the Kansas flatland

Where does the wedding ring go ?

And we laughed 'til we cried !!!!!

Between us we've been married

enough times to count

almost all the fingers on

both our left hands combined !

We were talking about white versus yellow Gold

and Diamonds we've had and

I mentioned the guy who came 17 years later

two years ago now

with an apology and said he never should have abused me

and he was the only one who ever did -

apologize that is ~

said I did not deserve his ill treatment and

told me of tragedies in his life since I'd seen him last

and gave the wedding set to me

to do with as I please -

the one I never got to wear

because I had to leave him and his

" insecure jealousy and immaturity "

in his own words     WOW!

Diamonds and Gold from 17 years

cold storage

with lots of time to

" think about it "

after I made it stop -

now put away

forever

and for a moment in the story Sunny forgot

which hand the ring goes on !!!

And how could you blame her when

her last husband took her

retirement fund

and ran !

And how can he sleep at night

after leaving her penniless and over age 65 ?

Oh yes now I remember

it's the hand nearest

   my heart ! Sunny said

It's the left hand isn't it Violet

that's right !

We try each day to find a way

to count all that happened rightly

and maintain above and beyond it all

a precious sense of

humor !!!

He's the loser !

And doesn't he know Sunny sun sun

how much bad energy he sent out to

himself ?

Sunny mentioned herself as a

JERK   Magnet

in those days

and I could relate

reminiscing about blankets made for my babies

kept without my permission

by one such

and other precious-ness lost . . .

Later I visited that one ANYWAY

unconscious

in I.C.U

and even later in jail

and I knew it was true -

Karma is equally at work

for everyone

making those who are aware

more careful what they do

So just wait patiently

oh Sunny one

and one day you will hear

the fate of the JERK

and yes your money helped the outcome

decided by both his own hands

and it won't be good -

for nothing good comes

from abuse and lying and cheating and

theft !!!

His abuse will full circle

back from where it was

sent

and like me

you'll be sad for him

because you loved him truly -

still do

don't you ?

Third finger Sunny

left hand . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

Violet Hues and Violet's Hues

according to Miss Morning Glory: ~~~

~~~~~~~~

While most are living lives

of quiet desperation

Violet Hues was desperately

protesting

wanting the fantasy to come to

fruition

the one that did not include -

HIS socks to pick up

or wondering where HE'd gone again

with the car

and the shocking disbelief

when HE flung mud in her eye

repeatedly

Is it any wonder she hungered

for beauty in all things

when it's where she's coming from

and what she finds everywhere

and creates it too

with no hesitation

but make no mistake she has no reservation -

not afraid the sort through the mess

the mess and the myth of co-dependency

and point to the problem as ' needing to be solved '

as in ' do something about it '

with solemn resolve

surfacing with a diamond in the rough

usually from a pile which others

disregard ~

When her 3 toddlers would not

stay "buckled up" and

walked around the car at will

repeatedly

while she was driving

she finally stepped on the brake going 15 mph

and told them as they all got back up

from the floor

" I'm not here to get in the way of

your good time - little Farquars - I'm trying to keep

you from being seriously hurt if a car runs into us since we

are all insanely driving within inches in opposite directions

at a high rate of speed - I Love You

now please buckle up ! "

And she never had to say it again !!!!!

I may be young and just a Morning Glory

wild and grown practically

in the dark

but I know Violet a bit

and I'm saying she's all heart

and I may not be a Mother yet

but when I am

I will step on the brake too !!!!

Oh - Morning Glory Miss - like I told you before

you don't know what you'll do until you're there -

reminded TIGER LILY )

Okay  Lil - that may be true

I only thought I was so sure

I would not LET a man hit me

like I thought you all did

as I said in a post last year

And Violet has made it real that

" you don't know what anyone will do

until they do it "

and that the 30 % good that made

the 70 % of crap

bearable

applies to ALL shitty relationships

not gender specific

it's the same with my own sister

which really opened my eyes !

I just wish I had been a mouse in the corner

when the children asked Violet Hues 

to explain

Jail !!!    exclaimed the Morning Glory

And her children are obviously today

people who were seriously Loved

by a Violet who wasn't afraid to put

her foot down

or to Love 'em up

or show them the truth about LIFE ~

It's too bad the men in her life

were so insecure

and set out to injure her

attempting to divert her appointed destination

and take her GOODNESS away

but I'm here to say

THEY MISSED ! 

They failed to take from her

a heart that loved them truly

( She's a lot more forgiving than I would have been

or currently am

I admit - but I'm learning slowly that I only

hurt myself with a heart full of hate

and that abusers are sick and to be PITIED

and how to recognize what is abusive

and I'm learning to throw LOVE at the HATE

see post: Virtue is . . . )

and Violet did not become what she detests

which I admire mostly

" but rather finds strength in

what remains behind " - William Wordsworth

from Ode on Intimations of Immortality

We don't know how she did it exactly

but we trust her to tell us the truth

the FLOWER Girls and me and you

and we're just happy that

she didn't die

like so many do

from Domestic VIOLENCE

and we know why she tells

our stories -

we know why she gives a damn !

Popeye is her hero

when he says " I am what I am and

that's all that I am ! " and

" I can't stands no more ! "

right before he opens up a can

of spinach flavored whoop-ass

So she opened the door of healing

quite freely and gave voices

to ME and the Rose and the Kansas Burr-face Sunflower

and Daisy Dukes-up and Calend

and the rest of the FLOWER Girls

advocating VIOLENCE NO MORE - make it end !!!

She didn't " HAVE TO " - ya know !

She could have kept it to herself

swept it under the proverbial rug

where lots of crap is festering

from too many people with more brooms than brains

nursing the sprains from tripping over it all

denying that

anything even happened and

not wanting to talk about it

and that's just creepy when every problem has a

SOLUTION ~

Instead she's giving it all to us

the good the bad the truth and

nothing but

inspiring us to be less fearful

when there is not much help for us

in the Domestic arena and in

the world at large

PEOPLE ARE

ROUTINELY ABUSED IN THIS LIFE
AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A WIFE

to know it

What is up with that !

Why are we so mean ?

I want to know !

Even I was a bully once

see post: Oops I shouldna done that !

and I've seen my own Mother

bruised and battered

and SHE TRIED TO MAKE IT STOP TOO !

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO !!!!!!!!

If we can

but how much help is there for us when

a woman calls the police for protection and

they go talk to the guy and an officer

comes back to say " HE says he still loves you, ma'am "

and obviously isn't taking seriously 

what led to her death

the next day . . .

Thank You Vi ~ for giving yourself to trying to wake us up ~

       Miss Morning Glory

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Just call her Vi ~

The ROSE tells Violet tales

from the Rose Memoirs:

She was born Violet Laureal Vibrantsunsets

born on a Violet day

at a Violet time -

It wasn't sunny honey

and she longed for the day

she could change her

Vi Vi name

so finally she became

Violet Vibrantsunsets Metaphor

The life of Violet Metaphor was so young

and married and itchy purple twitchy

and a baby too

So with a rash going she scratched off

the Metaphor early on

and was Violet Vibrantsunsets

once more

before she was 21

and for a long enough time

she thought

when she once more became

a new Violet with a brand new name

five years later

Violet Vibrantsunsets Hues

Surely this was her destiny

as visions of

babies and

gingham curtains

and chocolate chip cookies

and white picket fences

around her growing garden

danced in her Violet head

as she was pushing thirty !

Violet Hues - a tragic royal comedy

like when she was goofy  " LUCY " pregnant and

put the dish rack in the oven temporarily

while nesting ( there was no where else to put it ! )

and took a nap and woke up in a

pregnant stupor to pre-heat

the oven for dinner later and

went back to pregnant sleep and

fortunately

woke up again

to a house full of smoke

and called Mr. Hues at work asking if he

had been home while she napped

and did he put 10 pounds of

cheese in the oven - perhaps ! ? ! ?

Still in a stupor she heard him say

" GET OUT OF THE HOUSE - NOW !!!!!

THE FUMES ARE TOXIC ! "

and then she awakened ~

You have never been that pregnant ?

No ?

well just not yet !

you've never been that asleep too

I'll bet

So Violet Hues was pregnant repeatedly

barefoot as often as possible

and once again after thirty came and went

still able to run on gravel with no shoes

good for chasing babies

and leaping tall assholes in a single bound

She flipped pancakes while nursing

the baby

two toddlers at her knee

and one ten years older

while reading several books at all times

as this one was writing itself ~

Most days were Domestic near-miss

of Domestic Violet's bliss

a lot of ' making do '

and not quite ' put together '

looking from the outside in

getting it all done somehow

but she's a hardy hearty

inside - out type

and Domestic abuse was

wearing it thin

as the Violet

compacted

beneath a boot heel

until we didn't recognize her

and we thought her a goner

and finally she put her head up and became

Violet Vibrantsunsets !

once again

this time alone with four children

because the bully's don't stop

when you ask them to ~

She hung out in the bright

clear and clean sunlight with

some of us

coming dangerously close to changing

her Violet name again

once or twice over the next few years

and finally succumbed to a trusted man-friend's

proposal

becoming Violet Whirlwind which we

knew would never last

and we were right 

weren't we FLOWER Girls !

Yep !

That's right  - over with in a flash !

thank God

and Mr.Whirwind never touched her

with a fist

just blew a hole through her soul

with his secret addiction

and made her crazy

until he came clean

and told her the truth

that she inuitively knew

all along but

he denied it when she asked

and told her she was imagining things

and so he gave all his guilt to her and

she made him leave

immediately

so no harm

could come to her children

that's all

and she trusted him

so for her it was the worst one

of all

Who knew she would try     yet still   

ever again

for another new life and

which naturally brought

another new name

five years later

and this time it curiously rhymed

Violet Vibrantsunsets Vibratoson

good Lord we said !

and then he died

some abusive years later

GOOD Lord !

So now she's Violet Laureal Vibrantsunsets

happily loving her own name after all

not wanting to change it ever again or

relinquish the liberty

to love all her loves

and share herself

with us

so we just call her Vi

or Vi Vi or really Violet sometimes . . .

( I've got more on her later -

and one about three chucks and a bob ! ~ Rose )

Violet Laureal Vibrantsunsets Metaphor Hues Whirlwind Vibratoson

Semper Vi ~ Just me

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Insanity Still

Calendula called

with incredula fabula

comedy/tragedy

today

A companion was hired

to give a care

to the difficult days

her parents are having

every aging day

Old BUCK is as

usual

trying to run the

show

when he doesn't know

that he doesn't know

dementia won't let him

now

but all along he's been

'just that way'

anyhow

Calend said

Mama Belle is still

stroked - out

and smiles a lot

from her wheelchair

struggling just

to say

No Way !

about whatever

to HIM ~

This day's new giver

of care

is African American

but born in Tahiti

and quite round

about 290 pounds

according to

Calend

and did not take too  long

to begin

a long list of

offenses

according to BUCK

The first insult came when

dear BUCK

made fun of her

whole name

" You're Jade-iya keesha misheoiu Tala

aiya Lya  ~ WHAaaT ? "

said the BUCK

of all weeds

upon her first

arrival

" 'Scuse ME ! "

Jade-iya Lya

replied

rolling her big

dark eyes

" You say that agin'

I munna punch you

in the eye !!! "

These were fightin' words

to the weed of all weeds

Old BUCK

" I think you'll NOT !

you fat old black sock ! "

and Calendula said

" IT WAS ON ! "

As insanity ensued

with Jade-iya Lya

all drugged up on

ATAVAN

too !

The push would come

to shove

with the tiny Belle

in the middle

trying to break it

up

as they bitched and

fussed and flirted

like lover's in

foreplay

all day

as the Belle flower

told it later ~

Before it was through

Jade-iya tripped and

fell into bed

in the dark of night

290 pounds of fright

all ATAVANED - out

right on top of

Miss Belle and Old Buck

around midnite

running amuck

And when morning

came around

Jade-iya Lya was found

in BUCK'S favorite

chair

wearing only her skirt -

blouse around her head like

a turban

sipping out of BUCK'S

favorite bottle of

bourbon

two enormous Tahitian

breasts

hanging out !

Calenda stopped by

later

to find the three

sitting silent

and still

Jade-iya out cold

sprawled in the BUCK'S

recliner and naked from the

waist

her skirt hiked up

with her rotund legs

apart

everything in chaos

not a thing in its place

and the tiny Belle on

the other side of the room

had taken her blouse off

too !

The only sound

familiar

the whine of warring planes

volume in hand

of the Plantain called

BUCK

in the middle of the sofa

wearing no

pants

and a big grin

on his face  . . . !

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Energy in motion

Calendula called

today to say ~

My PTSD

collided with my

OCD while post- PMS

jockeyed for position

And I cried all the way

home from shopping

only to unlock the door

and have to stifle

once more

to not disturb the

neighbors

I want to talk to SOMEONE

who doesn't

" have to go "

so therapy is useless

in hour-short increments

It would only add to

the already present level

of being left hanging

or kicked off to

the side

My eyes are old

my glasses older

no money in the bank

my pap smear

dental work and

MRI

will simply have to

wait

and I break out

from the sugar I've eaten

can't find a way to stop

loving sweetness

My other siblings hate me

the neighbor is a

perp

and where I  used to

love my job

I'm

burning out at work

and I'm sick to death of

feeling like shit

while World News

rips chunks from

my heart !

And how are you

dear Violet

what have you to say ?

You're not alone Calendula

no matter what you're thinking

I know it's hard

but it's a beautiful LIFE

even when it's

stinking

You suffer so

for reasons great

beyond what we can know

and when you climb out

of the pit

like poor Pittosporum knows

you will be further refined

and better than before !

So ride the giant wave

Calend

with grace and

dignity

Do yoga please

and drink the good

green drinks

Learn to see sugar

as poison

not as

pleasure !

And go for a long long walk !!!!!

The world is running frantic

indeed

no time for anything it seems

we're all so busy busy !!!

like

lemmings off the cliff

So count the thousand things

all going right today

and if you need to talk

needing time space and

privacy

then take it to the Highest Source

( Buddha, Jesus - everybody come please ! )

or whatever your conception

may be

Scream and cry

out loud

~ get it out ! ~

Your emotion

is Energy in motion

and will harm you if

you keep it in

Screw the neighbors !

No - not the perp

Oh - you know what I mean !

and remember you can

always call

me . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Fat'ncat

I drove home from

her funeral after

~ Gardenia

was laid to rest ~

a horrendous ordeal

gathered folks together

who would otherwise not meet

Condolences then

and now for those who

loved Gardenia ~

murdered by a jealous

lover

a man who once her neighbor

three weeks later

killed his wife ~

So from a negative negative

negative situation

a distantly mutual 

acquaintance in the ' after '

coffee crowd

exclaimed her need to

find a new home for her

" 8 year old neutered

never- made- me- mad in

his whole

life "

cat

I replied involuntarily

" I have a mouse !? "

although I didn't know why

I said a word ~

and then later she delivered

a taped shut extra large

filled with air holes

cardboard box

with cat gear loaded into

the cat carrier ????

in the dark

we filled my car

and she cried and put her

old bathrobe in the backseat

so her scent would be near

so he would not be

so badly affected

by the twilight-zone

experience he was

having

since she

shut him in the box ~

And so I drove for two hours

while the poor man-cat

meowed and thrashed around

and I cried too

talking to him

all the way home

with a cat and

disbelief ~

Gardenia's murder

earlier in the week

had stunned me

Her funeral numbed me

I realized

when I carried

the heavy box

into my living room

as I stripped off the tape

and

opened the flaps

I had no idea

what the cat looked like !

It could be ANYTHING

at all !

and out stepped a

mostly white medium coat

strangely marked with black

BIG'NFAT'NCAT !!!!!!!!!!!!

Eighteen pounds if he's an ounce

one green eye marked with

black melting down from the top

of his head

the other green eye surrounded by

his dominant white

A perfect 3 inch dot situated

mid - shoulder

at the back of his neck

and smaller indigo spots

on two legs

a paw and his head

On his rump

larger round dots

run together

in the shape of a PUPPY

with a profile like a Scottie and

a little curled-up tail !

It was surreal

the feel

of the strange-to-me

feline

at first sight

He came at the precise

moment I needed

another beating heart

in my house

but didn't know it

until that night

I was paralyzed by FEAR

at news of the DEATH of

the GARDENIA and he gave me a reason

to get off my chair

to give a care

right when

Universal Boss knew

I needed him most ( Merci ! )

Big'ncat'nfat'ncat

A.K.A. Fat'n

He's so beautiful

when he lets himself in

the old screened front door

in the summertime

by flipping it open with a paw

and gives it a push

and lets himself out

when he wants

and wakes me if I'm nodding

in my chair

and understands my every word

( if the cat could only talk ! )  . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Belle Flower

Calendula called

with news of her mother

A Canterbury Belle

from the ( Campanula )

family

Her spikes of larger

bell-shaped flowers

can become 2 and half feet

tall

but she's a smaller one

C.m. calycanthema

is why she's  cup and saucer

one of her many colored flowers

sits in another petal rim

fitting closely

within

She likes full Sun and

well-drained soil

But she doesn't get much

some days

and never has

home growing old

with a narrow-leaved plantain

named Buckhorn

from the ( Plantago laneolata )

family

Belle and Buck

are an interesting pair

needing in home care

and I've been over there

to help Calendula

give a care

Belle is one rare flower

among the Flower Girls

She fits in a space

a place in 

the vase

reserved for the women who

stayed

with encroaching

pushy and

controlling

weeds of the perennial kind

like BUCK

for too long ~

He rode hard the

the young Calend

and would continue still

but she won't let him

and even Belle has

found her will

from a wheelchair

with a stroked - out

voice

she demands a choice

finally

as dementia carries

the mind of Buck-weed

to places unknown

trailing

and choking

and binding them up

He's a tough one to

stop

He hung out

all his laneolata

life

with the likes of Rag-weed and

Chick-weed

Henbit and

poison Ivy

and other controlling

invasive

types

He wrote books on

war and ammunition

and a missile he invented

to kill cities and countries

and FLOWERS and stuff

watching war documentaries

on T.V. all day

still

And he's sure he's so right

for all of their lives

that they cowered in fright

and could not

grow real tall

under his

mighty mistaken

oppression

But the tiny

Belle flower

says " No please ! "

now

for the first time

in her life

and Calend

calls me up

for detachment with love and

prayer

and help to

give a care

for this pair

in her garden . . .

see post: Insanity Still

found in the FLOWER Girls

category for another look at

giving a care !

if you dare

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Once upon a Peony's birthday

When you were ten

a wide-smiling bud

of a beauty

you were a handful according

to your Mother

I've had no reason to question

her remembrance

and for me it confirms

you were a child once

just like I was

and I remember she loved you

can't forget

don't know why ~

~~~~~

At twenty you were my Mother

I could have no other

And I adored you

so did he

I was a cutie and

you were a

beauty and

a new sister joined us

she was cute too

and I remember you loved us

don't forget

how could I ? ~

~~~~~

By the time you were

thirty

you were Gorgeous George

flirty

looking great

in a very short skirt

I was terribly twelv-ish

approximately

peevish

and by now two more cuties

showed up

He was gone

you were strong

I remember you tried

can't forsake

sixth grade eyes ~

~~~~~

Forty sculpted the fabric

of your life like no other

He'd been back so perhaps

thank you both for

our Brother

I had bucked through your thirties

while you canvassed your mind

I ran wild

I remember you learned

can't unsketch

your fine lines ~

~~~~~

Degreed Grama at fifty

you were still  looking nifty

turning heads in your suit

at the pool

All your cuties were

Mommies

and our babies we prized

as we loved you a bushel

pecked and hugged around

your neck and a barrel

and a heap had us

talking in our sleep

about you

about . . .

I remember you lovely

no mistake

how time flies ~

~~~~~

At sixty you surprised me

with your boundless energy

You've been a long time coming

you'll be a long time gone

(Where is she now ?)

East West

somewhere in the atlas

holed up in Wyoming

with another bunch of canvas

Busting sod

moving rocks

I remember you stunning

can't erase

your green eyes ~

~~~~~

Do Libra's pause at

seventy

to balance out the scales ?

to gather up refining time

and smooth out all details ?

I'll never know

I'm Capricorn and

only fifty-two

all because of you

you gave me guts

you know

I remember you always

can't forget

how could I ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

( A couple of Peony birthdays ago )

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

From the Rose Memoirs

Well it was dusty

and rusty and dry

in the country

in the county

in the town

we called home

And I slept with my sisters

in a hard double bed

and we shared all the dresses

in the musty and crusty

old town

There was nothing to do

except swimming and school

and the church kept an eye

on our golden rule

So we smiled really wide

when the town gossip pried

and found out through

businessmen barflies

there would soon be a chance

for fun in the flats

At Miss Joy Hopgood's School

of Dance ~

As the school came to town

we created new gowns

spit and polished our shoes

to a shine

and had a great time

stepping forth and then back

trying not compete

with the stumbling feet

of our rusty and dusty dance

partners

who were breathing and wheezing

and sweat up a storm

in their new ironed shirts

grease holding their

cowlicks down ~

With Sinatra a blarin'

from a brand new Victrola

spin 33 and a third

we were hardly a 'carin

to be any place else

in the world

We waltzed and fox-trotted

and giggled  amazed

when

the tango displayed

by Miss Joy Hopgood

showed her stepping in time

with a full wooden leg . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Excerpt's from the Rose Memoirs

The Rose so sweet

has made complete

the theory

that Violence

occurs not exclusively

from the opposite gender

and was very present among

her family and even friends

acquaintences and neighbors

From her Personal Memoirs:

sssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Shunned by her group

she sidled up

next to

me

quietly

stashing

munitions for

future use - I

was none the wiser

but wisely shared truth

savoring sounds of Peace

then I heard the

*

heart

stopping

rattle

Say it is not

so

Say

what ?

Say again ?

Say I'm dreaming

Say I'm waking now

PLEASE

Yearning to

imagine it

gone

not yet

when death

strikes a guess

*

The fold bids her

back and I am one who

voted yes - Oh joy the

reunited clanswomen ! This will

silence baby toys forever

so I thought

Oh silly me !

Distant rattle faint 

coming this way

Suddenly stricken

like hail

the stores

rained

down

upon me

Sinister sly sin din

surrounding

history

re-written

sending shock up

my spine - fracturing

heart central as it

passes

spreading

melancholy like

ink on a wet

page

I

protest

no less - I wait

I sadly see - the next

to be rid of has come down

to me - who voted yes

I wait - serrated

yearning to

imagine it

gone

again

not yet

Stunned

    into silence

by the snake bite . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Morning Glory Story

The Morning Glory Miss

stopped by on her way thru

the garden

with stories of young adventures:

A wee nephew at the park with

The Morning Glory Miss

was bullied by an older child

a four year old

streetwise thug

who told Glory she was

"kookie"

She stopped his violence

suggesting

" You need counseling - THERAPY "

in her Morning Glory way

" Say WHAT? "

he said - surprised

" A counselor "

she repeated

" I've already got one !"

he replied . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

. . . like Carrie Bradshaw

While chatting with the Kansas Burr-faced

Sunflower ~

my senior

and fellow

artist and

former battered woman

and not one to

take it well when confronted

with rudeness and stupidity

( She's a Burr-face for a reason ! )

We communicate our

alarm

at the state of things in

the World

and I am prompted to share

with the World

ideas that make it

better

easier to navigate

while on this journey - LIFE !

It's what I do

every day

look for a way to improve

make better

give a care

and help run smooth

all I am able to

and it's why I share with YOU

all that I do ~

From the Wisdom of the Jewish Sages:

    " Do not be daunted

      by the enormity

      of the World's misery.

*  Do justly, now

*  Walk humbly, now

*  Love mercy, now

       You are not obligated to

       complete the work

       but neither are you free

       to abandon it. "

And like Carrie Bradshaw I am compelled to go

to the keyboard and write

pondering revelations

epiphanies

( a fancy word for awareness )

and as always

filled with questions

and the seeking of answers leads to

more questions

No matter what goes on

     ~ I don't get to do it wrong ~

Even if the World seems to be on its way

to hell

without the hand basket

I still must remain

teachable

open

honest with myself

and YOU

The difference between me and

Carrie Bradshaw ( Sex and the City )

is the amount of sex she seems to be

having

and that her column goes on in fantasy

and mine goes on in

real life

In real life I cannot not write

like she can't not

in fiction

In fiction real life is the

catalyst

for imagination

In real life

there is no need for

exaggeration

The Truth is Ugly

or Lovely

enough

And it's a lovely life

however difficult

and filled with drudgery

at times

I think I'll do justly

now

and sign off with

a gentle reminder that

IF WE ALL LIVED FOREVER
WHERE WOULD WE PARK ?

Do you know what a rut is ?

It's a grave with the ends kicked out !

If you are not laughing

you are in one ~

GET OUT, NOW !

Do justly

Walk humbly

Love mercy . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

The Breast

Corallina's sister wouldn't be

the first sister

to live under the

shadow

of her big sister's

tits - (in her own words)

Where have I heard this before ?

Probably most well-endowed

women have sisters

So this means

there are a fair amount

of females

lurking in the dark

feeling inferior

compared to someone else's

mammaries ~

glands, that is ~

We live in a world

geared toward

the pleasures of men

for the men

by the men ~

so much so

that women hate

each other

for it

Emphasis here for me

is the shadow

and all that goes with it

The shadow cast

by me and my

mammaries

reaches far beyond

the fact that I

could not see over them

to my tummy

which was just as well

given that

if I got fat

(which I did frequently)

so did my mammaries

For me it was

Hell ~

One day I woke up

and

there "they" were

~ the long awaited day ~

I had tried on my grandmother's

one-piece

bathing suit with

cups

when I was

five

I was in such a hurry to grow up

that I didn't

for a long time

Anyway

from the moment "they "

appeared

I rued the day

I had wished -

Corallina, too

No one ever looked at me

the same

again

or in the

eyes

I was 12

There were parents who

would not let their

children

play after school  with

me

for the crime of

wearing a good - sized bra

in the sixth grade

And, WAY TOO MANY

males -  of all ages

began to notice

me

Corallina, too

We're so dumb in this world

we think a kid afflicted

with "them"

is enjoying all this

attention

NOT NECESSARILY SO !

Soon my mantra was

GOD  please ~

GET "THEM" OFF ME . . . !

Years later

after nursing my four babies

(what "THEY'RE" for)

I looked down

and then UP

and said

"I didn't mean EVERYTHING !"

A normal size just felt

small

in comparison

like some sisters do

apparently

Somehow being hated

for something I

didn't do - Corallina, too !

( I didn't build me - did you build you ? )

seems kind of ludicrous

doesn't it to you ?

From the first B-cup

and up and

up

the focus was not on ME

it was on my chest

Corallina, too

What we got from the world

was not everyone's

best

What I got was

cruelly

MY FAULT

others said

To the confused male lot

I was " BITCH "

for saying no -

to the feel

they were trying to

cop

And " SLUT " if

I didn't say

STOP !!!

Corallina, too

I took "them"

with me

through the

Wild Child

days

leaving Barbie

behind

Pushing hands off

me

that felt entitled

to just touch

"them"

out of nowhere

all the time

and a trail of

women

hating me for "them"

all the way

Corallina, too

The worst of character

in my face - wiping the

smile from it

a distorted fun-house trip

Envy, jealousy and

way too much

Lust -

which by itself isn't

a bad thing

but please don't show yours

to me !

And subtle and not-so-subtle

manipulations occurred -

Avarice, greed and

revenge

SLANDER

A whole lot of things

that aren't nice

Corallina, too

Even RAPE would be

my fate

for saying "NO"

the first time

he tried

Corallina, too

And as I have established

in some previous posts

they had to beat me

to get the job done

I don't just lay down

for just anyone

And stuffing back

the urge to

KILL

made me need to

take a pill

and drink lots of

alcohol

until I  didn't

anymore

So - to all

sisters

in the shadow

the coast is now

clear

you can come out

now

and hate your sisters

for something

IMPORTANT

if you MUST

and help all women

become something greater than

their BUST

Today most eyes meet

mine

not stopping to

inspect

save the ones who

are happy with not-quite a handful

and the occasional

female A-cup

still unsure of

herself

And I see a

little more of

everyone's best

but not much

I DON"T GET
WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS
ABOUT FAT IN A SACK
ON A CHEST !

Corallina, too

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

For Pittos sake, Pittosporum

For pitto sake, Pittosporum "

Daisy Dukesup exclaimed

       Are you in the pit - again ?

How can it be that with your history

you insist on your woeful refrain ?

    Your 2 - 4 inch glossy green leaves

can also grow from seeds

A long - lived  shrub, you're evergreen,

           dependable, rugged - you can even

become a BoNsai if you want to !

Cream blossoms belie your

bitter morass of self-pity

when fragrant orange scent wafts from

your flower - and you look really pretty !

Here you are all pruned and dusted

enjoying bright light and a cool room

Yet, you 're always doom and gloom !

SNAP OUT OF IT -  PIT !

Put your dukes up

ya big coward

find your way out

nothing 's wrong with you !

and then, COMPARED to WHAT

do you have problems ?

If this and that is making you go nuts

what would you do in a REAL Crisis ???

Are you a stroke victim - locked up in a chair ?

No ?  then,

knock it off !!!

Did you wake up in Afghanistan ?

No again ?

KNOCK IT OFF !

And, are you still being beat up by a MAN ?

No ?  No, I didn't think so

Could you possibly be grateful ?

I did not say servile and scraping -

I said Grateful !  Appreciate what You HAVE

Instead - you're whining all the time !

Your eyes are in all backwards

your shrubbery's up your ass

the Daisy told the PIT

as she surveyed directly

the PIT and her bullshit

through  her honest Daisy eye

I just don't understand why

you persist

when you have the same

options

as the FLOWER Girls and Vi and I  ??!!?!

And we have all been in the same shoes as

you - the Tiger Lily cried !

and Rosie added

I could not be happy

no matter how I tried

While reeking of self pity

and lots of alcohol  - I found no

peace - no comfort - no ease

until I was so sick of it, and sick of

being sick of it, so just

how long will you stay in the Pit - PIT ?

Do you need a calender or clock ?

Step Off - for Goddess sake !

Give it a break !!!!!

Violet, what do you say ?

I say it's O.K. when it hurts to say ouch

But will you do anything soon to

solve your Problem

or do you just want to

Bitch ?

You seem unclear

poor Pittosporum

regarding which is which !

When I was reeking

of pitied SELF

I really wanted someone to say

it will all be o.k.

Mostly no one did ~

they gave me shit for having pain

which made more pain instead

And the ones who gave me sympathy

were just as sick as me

Sympathy can kill you - Pitto in the pit

It's a temporary fix

what you need is real compassion

YES, WE ALL KNOW HOW IT FEELS !

but the ones who saved my life

took the risk of pissing me off

by telling me the truth

as we are telling you today

the FLOWER Girls and ME

If you count all your blessings

instead of all your pain

and put a leg up and

over the side - there you are

up and out of the  Pit !

That's it !!!

Keep smiling

Now work hard to stay out !

Unless you want it to kill you

from the inside out !

They just call it CANCER

or Alcoholism or whatever

your Dis- EASE

And Domestic Violence is the

perfect breeding ground

from the pain of being

mistreated

YOU ARE NOT THERE NOW !

PITTOSPORUM

Where is your gratitude list ?

And, take out your skeletons

to light of day

and free yourself

True freedom is when there's

nothing left to hide

drop your weapons - swallow your

false pride ( look it up )

Then, your self-pity will go away !

If you want it to ~

What kind of mileage is it getting for you ?

Oh, you're mad now ?

Imagine that !

I was mad too

when they asked me that

They saved my life

some years ago now

so I could write

DOMESTIC VIOLET

For pitto sake !

Semper Vi  ~~~~~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Corallina bella, bella

Begonia, Begonia

( B. Corallina de Lucerna )

Belissima'    !!!

never hiding - ever blooming

     drooping clusters of Coral flowers

in pink, rose, or red

grows Tall unless she gets a haircut

once in a while

     Silver spots adorn her leaves

unlike 

her Glossy  cousin  Wax ( B. semperflorens )

who sometimes wears red or white

Keep  Harsh SUN 

from Begonia

please

Wet

air  

She

likes

her dirt

   dry

      some

             times

Corallina comes from a bigga Italian familia:

Wax ( B. semperflorens ), Rex ( B. rex-cultorum)

Hardy ( B. evansiana ), Iron Cross ( B. masonia )

Tuber ( B. tuberhybrida ) and

Strawberry ( Saxifraga sarmentosa )

to name names

Corallina easily grows in big family style

willing to share herself and bare herself

under fluorescent spot-light as well

In her emotional foliage

unique ornament finds

support in bamboo

and general care

from you

nothing below

( 55 degrees F )

please

She

and her

family are

    admired

       by most

         who stop

      to gaze

Corallina and the rest

share some of the best

leaf designs of all

In true Latin form

talking

with their hands

in shady places

Tuber goes inside

when it's cold

returning

outdoors

down

2 in. deep

in Spring

Seeds in early winter

flower late   in summertime

The Strawberry ( Saxifraga sarmentosa )

the Begonia blacksheep

a.k.a.( S. stolonifera ) likes grit, Peat Moss

can be moss-like or stash water inside

and leaf mold is a treat to SAXifraga

who hangs out in cracks, crevices, screes

and  as been " well used "

in alpine houses

her unrooted rosettes taking  root

in the sand

Her gritty need grows

flowers of white, pink, purple, or yellow

April, May and June

Sax may be found on a most - wanted list

with the alias 

Strawberry Geranium

Don't be fooled - she's a

Begonia all the way

Corallina de Lucerna ( a Flower Girl )

and la Familia

will post again

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~~~~~~~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Sweet Sarcastica- rated (R)

A new Flower on the set

a little different from the rest

she wouldn't say it if she didn't mean it

and if you don't like it

don't read it - Vi !

Sweet Sarcastica CYCLAMEN - ( HARDY )

{ persicum or C. indicum or C. europaeum

or C. neopolitanum }

A gorgeous Corm with beautiful flowers

above rosette of succulent, heart-shaped

blue-green leaves marbled with silver

lasting long in cool rooms

Nodding 2-3 inches across, with reflexed

petals of white, pink,rose, or red;

appearing from early winter to early spring

liking a little bit of light

with some barometric pressure

keep it real wet but not SOGGY

maintain  Cool temperature

The CORM surfaces in September

in new quarters with new energy

growing well from a seed in mossy

Wet places . . .

Did I mentioned CYCLAMEN could be a bit Wild -

taking up some room in a room

with The Flower Girls

her flower head held  high

above her firm heart-shaped leaves ?

and her ~ FUCK THAT !

                  ~ List ~

Not to be confused with the

     Fuck IT ~ list

or the Fuck it, then

                  ~ list ~

or the Fuck YOU !

                  ~ list ~

or  what the FUCK that I

need a list  ~ list ~

You can stop reading right here

if she's too much for ya - Vi !

Oooh - instead you'll be checking

for punctuation ? ; . : , ' !"

FUCK that !   Where is my   g        m n

                 ~ list ~~~~~~~~~~~~

First of all ~~~~~ yes !~~~ Sarcastica here

FUCK your pretentious critical nature

with a COP mentality to boot - always looking

for dirt

Negative MoFo needs to measure

your NEGATIVE Self with the same length stick

Or are you just a DICK ?

Don't be a DICK !

Fuck THAT !

And FUCK   that  you

read the Violet's words

on the page and turn

them to mean

something else !

Get out your dictionary, DUMB SHIT !

She is not meaning  other than  each definition, too !

LOOK IT UP !

FUCK that !

And Fuck that Man who called me after

two weeks of silence

leaving a message

( since I don't want to talk to his

sorry ASS )

asking ME if I'm MaaDD at him ?

FUCK  THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, Now, and always ~ CYC !!

p. s. ~ FUCK THAT ! ~~~~~~~~~

Now, now  Cycla - no need to get excited !

You don't like him all that much

anyway

He's s a blockhead by your own admission

Pause - do your toes,  and call him back

in a couple of weeks

Get back to your

FUCK THAT !

                  ~ list ~

Please !

and I'll post you again real soon !

( ~ She calms down after she

       ~ gets it out ~  Vi ! )

FUCK THAT !!!

O.K. - out of my chair, please

you've had enough fun on

the typepad today,  Sarcastica !

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~~~~~

Survivor . . . the VORTEX

Ideally there would be

Ideally there would be no need

to go on and on about violence

but Violence goes on and on and on

It starts with a larger issue

really it's born of fear which

can't exist where there is faith

faith in something greater than oneself

Who wants anything to do with that?

No one - until they do

Most run around scared to death and don't know it

Most have a heart, but are too afraid to show it

I know from my own journey about the terror most of us hide

I know because I found my own - searching way down deep inside

The seed of fear was planted before I could walk or talk

Violence in the life of the Rose was NORMAL by the time she could read and write

though they didn't  look "the kind"

What kind of people live violent lives?

Every kind from every kind of life

From abject poverty ( where it looks to some like violence might naturally erupt )

to the middle of the middle ( where the Rose came from )

to the upper echelons of financial opulence

a place you would not expect Domestic Violence to be

It proves that economics are no criterion

If anything our MONEY insulates us from the truth

A guy who goes to work every day and comes home to drink and do his drugs,

certainly could not be seen as abusive - certainly, probably not

That's what The Rose's ex-husband thought

after all, he brought a paycheck home, right?

And took money for the drugs right off the top.

He was "not there" emotionally because

no one is when they are under the influence regularly

but that was not abusive because he brought the paycheck, right?

When he further insulted Rose by hitting her, too

with the rationale that "She said something he didn't like"

POOR BABY

(tell it to the Judge)

She tried like all battered people do

to justify and minimize the experience

It's the mind-fuck of Violence that we somehow

have to compartmentalize the experience

in a way that allows us to deal with

what just happened - when we are suddenly struck -

ambushed out of nowhere by one who

claimed to "Love" us

earlier in the day

We usually blame ourselves because they do

especially if we have already been asked

to take responsibility for things which are not ours to take

good little guilt receivers already

and we want to know, most definitely

why we have been assaulted by our significant "other"

( whoever they may be ) that we love so dear?

Each time an assault occurs the story we tell ourselves

intensifies

Although we know we are not responsible for

the actions of "others"

we join them in collusional delusion that "they"

are not responsible

but that somehow the "victim" is

and we stay

when a sane person would have never been there

for the second "hit"

Because Rose was a battered child she was well acquainted with

her person being violated

and was crestfallen when it appeared in her own relationships as an adult

She knew her father was violent and crazy but he was

an exception to the rule, right?

Not everyone had a father like hers

or so she thought !

By the time she was a young adult she had developed a very poor self image

which was reinforced in her "environment"

She was primed for more abuse

and primed to fall further into the delusional collusional that somehow

it was her fault and that somehow she "deserved" it

at least, that was the attacker's alibi

and she was supposed to believe it

and was hit again for saying she disagreed

NO ONE DESERVES THAT

Or did the students at VIRGINIA TECH

say something he didn't like?

Whining fucking coward of a sick fucking baby

even took himself out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The subtleties of Personal Responsibility include

the idea that no one "makes" anyone do anything

and that action  which you took it upon yourself to do

was your choice and therefore your responsibility

This is why today I neither  "make"

nor take "the make"

Autonomy ( look it up )

Neutrality - neither for nor against

don't try to "make" me choose

My choice is not up to you

because it's my Responsibility

In other words - "NO"

is our perogative as well as yes

I'll let you know !

It's just amazing how many people are just 4 year olds

having a meltdown

trying to get their way

Apparently this Violence thing is escalating

like any good Spiritual Malady will do

It erupted in the life of Snap Dragon last year

as she was being throw across the floor

I stood by her side as

the 'Men' moved his shit out the door

One of them asked the most incredible thing

when the Dragon told him of the violence

"How severe was it?" the dumb-shit asked

as if degrees somehow make it not Violent

For it to be called Domestic Violence it only has to be:

A.  Domestic  adj. 1 devoted to home life, given to the concerns of home

2 domesticated, tame; housebroken  3 native, not foreign or imported

indigenous, home-grown, homemade - n. 4 servant, attendant, household help

maid, cook, butler, houseboy

Ant. 2 wild, ferocious, untamed 3 foreign, imported

. . . and B. Violent adj. 1 Full of force, intense, severe, furious, fierce, raging

2 tempestuous, strong, ferocious, fiery, hot, passionate, hot-headed,

explosive, uncontrollable, ungovernable, unbridled, unruly, savage,

murderous; insane, maniacal, berserk, rampant

3 resulting from the use of force, cruel, brutal

Ant. 1 Mild 2 gentle, calm, composed, collected, cool, quiet

serene, tranquil, unruffled; sane, rational  3 peaceful

**************************************************

Domestic violence begins with rudeness at your table

make it stop if you are able

At another "degree" it is rampant every 4 seconds

as a woman is battered to become a statistic

make it stop if you are willing

At Columbine, Virginia Tech, amped up how many "degrees?"

and the War in Iraq ( God knows people just have to Fight )

Make it stop if you can

Start at your kitchen table

Or are you addicted to the adrenal rush

of chaos and confusion?

and sameness . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

The Hat

This just in ----------

Calendula just called

from her  Al-anon meeting

said she talked with a "hard hat" member

who gave her no choice

would not hear her voice

and was not particularly Tender

Saying "do this", "do that"

while trumpeting her "hat"

Not strong enough to be soft enough

she drove Calend away

"My way or the highway"

was all she had to say

"No thank you," said Calendula

"I don't need Military"

"I need a hug and essential oils

and for you to stop being SCARY"

Calendula needed softer touch

some hope and nurturing

and so she called on me

I gave her love, and "atta boy, girl

you stood up for yourself today!"

The "hat" too hard with CONDITIONS stiff

is only appropriate

if

you

are alcoholic

trying desperately

not to pick up a drink today

otherwise

"it's all going to be alright"

is all you have to say

when someone is just trying to

get over their co-dependency with you

Good Day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silly Hat !

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi  @#*%^$

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Give Children a Violin

It occurs to my Violet mind

to go to the Gym

But why?

not

when I am

perfectly capable

of working out my body

without paying for it twice

It's just a Violet thought as I sit

down to write this instead - Oh well

It occurs today that it really is true that

"things change " and "hair grows" - our only

guarantees in life - not "death and taxes" after all

Being adaptable to change is, for this Violet, a result of

surviving the roller-coaster ride, in the tornado of the trauma

of the Horror and The NIGHTMARE of the Cycle of The Violence of ABUSE

The real trouble with it all is the endlessly boring spectacle that is an otherwise sometimes

rational human being who is suddenly deteriorating right before your eyes into a hitting, kicking,

swearing and hurling insults

4 year-old              (GOD, I've changed a lot of diapers)

little kids hit

usually other little kids !

When a MAN beats up a Woman  he may as well be

beating up a child - no matter how big and BAD she thinks she is

Nothing is more cowardly than beating up a child

Above all things I do not admire Cowardice

it is bred from FEAR which fosters LIES and other

atrocities like the plight of the GARDENIA who will not be forgotten

in her absence - her story The EPITOME OF VIOLENCE and this the reason

and this the rhyme and why I take my Violet time to say IT"S NOT O.K.  Okay ? 

Okay

Chill

or take a pill

or better yet go TO THE GYM

My FATHER the athlete said to "give children a violin" . . .

More on Gardenia later - - - - - - ---------------------------------

Domesticated Vi who finds no pleasure in the pain of others and knows the terror

too many  WOMEN are living in

Semper Vi

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Wow!

In my fantasy

I thought you smarter

older and

wiser 

hipper slicker

and cooler!

You so disappoint me though

I thought you were so much more

but

I've been wrong before and

will be again

that's what make me human

like you  - whoever you may be

you are just like me

our blood is the same color

so

in that way it's not about ME

like it's not about you

a well worn phrase

these days

but

how well it applies

Domestic Violet and the Flower Girls  is not about you unless you Identify!

TO CLARIFY FOR MY AUDIENCE ~

WHOEVER YOU ARE...

this site is about to turn a corner

Little Jack Horner

Please let me be ...

I'm shell-shocked from the Din

my life has been

so much ugly in a world where chickens don't bauk

turkeys don't gubble ...

No matter how you tweak it

the truth is still the same!

The Rose by any other name

is Rosy just the same and

the ROSE the sweetest flower that

most of us can name ...

her life as eldest sister

a familiar refrain!

The difference in her family structure is

she had the Father I did not

hers stayed around ++++++

Our same gender siblings

the same in number

a brother at the last

she's a blast

of fresh refreshing Rosy air

and she lives with Rosy flair

no ugly from her tongue ...

her beauty now only surpassed

by the Rose when she was young ...

the Rose has been through HELL !!!!!!!!

Sweet ROSE my friend for 29 years now

a loving flower who with me gets along well

and can't see at all how someone could not know how!!??

I'm easy in her mind - easy to be around

perhaps because she is good in her own petals

sending Rosy scent around ...

and around she's been

like me

we all

know the ROSE and this Rose named herself when

I asked for her stories 

asked for her experience

in this matter ...

her name I did agree and

she said with her Rosy breath that she would be most happy

to help

               help end the VIOLENCE

I assured her ANONYMITY ( look it up )

THIS IS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

for ANYONE, and Everyone who can relate ...

the POINT IS to wake up the Depressed who cannot take action ...

to help even one person live and not die

and EXAMPLES OF THE VIOLENCE are taken from

the REAL thing

alive and well it is ............

I was touched by it today, and too many other days already

Do you think it's possible that some will feel really bad when

they discover they were mistaken?

From this dream You/ME /all y'all / whoever wants to - can awaken

Whoever YOU are ...

The Impatiens

(who now symbolizes the innocent in us all ...in a hurry to grow up)

and The Iris, Calendula, and Ivy

Snap Dragon, and Petunia, the Tiger Lily, too

Daisy Dukesup, The sweetest ROSE, The Kansas Burr-faced Sunflower

Morning Glory, and

the rest of the Flowers in the garden

along with Violet

will never stop ........

DOM VI

SEMPER VI ~

Survivor . . . from The VORTEX, babies ( And I've diapered a bunch! )

Peony's Dawta

For Peony's sake, I just heard from the Peony ( Paeonia )

"I could scream!" she said

This from simple PC withdrawal.

So, I know where I get my impatience with things technological,

for the Peony is my Mother.

NO SCREAMING PLEASE!

Violet simply responded with, "No screaming - just start laughing. It requires the same energy and pays off in the end." This I said to my MOM who has little ability to experience delayed immediate gratification sometimes as do I.          (If I plug it in - I want it to WORK!!!)

I then suggested she entertain herself with some of my writing - perhaps yet unread ?

ANYTHING but SCREAMING !!!!??!&@$*?

When we grow up we can become finally, completely, absolutely, ultra - sensitive to and

justly so

"OVER" THE SCREAMING

Oh, wait - did I say I was in line for sainthood or something?

No, sadly I learned to scream and yell real well, and once did so to the point of breaking my vocal chords, right before passing out.

You gotta be shrieking something awful to go unconscious from it. I couldn't talk for two weeks, nor could I sing a note for even longer; an injustice to the Violet Voice. And the "guy" was so not worth it! 

My voice was not created for screaming, so I don't now. Unless I get a harassing phone call, and then I just decline to engage now --- Most days, I just start laughing . . .

PEONY - people live in frustration and pain, it is the human condition - but . . . over the PC ? 

I know - it makes me crazy too !  You are not alone, but then you never were.

It must be what happens when you are an opulent, beautiful, flower

surrounded by worker ants all your bloomin' life.

The Peony

     stands TALL

           above the rest

and lives a  long, fragrant

and colorful life

with attractive all- season leaves

she stands   2 - 4 feet

Her flowers come in ones and two's

late in Spring

( P. lactiflora )  hybrids

voted most popular

may be Chinese or herbaceous

and prefers well-drained slightly acid soil

unless she's a tree ( P.suffruticosa )

also known as shrubbery

Please cover her eyes with dirt

and divide the 3-5 in late Summer

though not practical if she's tree-like

that's when she needs to be grafted !            

Sunshine

loves the PEONY

and look for spectacular blossoms - white, pink,

cream

to nearly yellow,

salmon pink, and red

She's a gorgeous

head

the Paeonia Peony

and has everything to do with the Me

of Me 

I've never met a more

brilliant flower

And a hardy one who took a trampling

by a boot heel or two

but her tree-likeness

helped her live to tell it now

PEONY - WOW !!!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Mid - Bitch

 

The Sweetest gifts in life, come when you did not ask for them. They just arrive at your door, bringing a half of a pack of sugar - right when you needed it most. Sweets for the Sweet from a Sweetie. "You Sweetie, you"........

A Sweetie came today

the POPPY - my first child.

She joins The Flower Girls in the vase

Her Red color like no other

Her regal stride - held high her head

She is contrast in the garden

and lends a gentle curve

she holds her nerve

Her presence

right

because

the fight

in her sight which

blackened Vi's eye

the Poppy sent no dog to.

She has the Golden Peach of a husband, and

he'd better be, or I'll have to ____ the ______  _____ !

I am kidding - as I seldom do - then again . . .

Anywaay - Poppy had to WATCH

with her steadfast Poppy gaze

the Violet

grow, and cry and, fail and try, and bleed and fall, get up and build

again 

again 

trampled by a boot.

again  again  again  yet still

and through it all the Poppy stood tall.

She joins us in the bouquet of DOMESTIC VIOLET and THE FLOWER Girls

a child of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE who

to my knowlege

has not been vitimized in any way

by a man with a fast - moving fist

and who came to visit the VIOLET today with a story about

how her husband hogs the remote and

he says " ...what difference does it make  -  you'll be asleep in  mid-bitch! "

I laughed 'til there were tears in my Violet eyes

"So why do we have to watch motorcycles - I'm not interested in motorcy . . . zzzzzzz . . . zzzz . . . "

DOMESTIC VIOLET

Semper Vi   @#*&

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Impatiens New Area Code

Word Just In - IMPATIENS has a new phone number, one in her hometown area code. Thank GAWD !

This may mean she GOT AWAY ??!!??!!

Hurray!!!

For NOW, perhaps.

She should be away FOR GOOD, but we know that women stay, or go back.

Or, they end up with another violent man?

What are the odds that she'll be abused again?

I naively believed it was just some kind of fluke when I was hit by a man who " LOVED " me, and

could not believe it when it happened again and again

I hope this is just a "fluke" in the young life of Impatiens

(who symbolizes innocence and universal young impatience)

Domestic Violet will be back with more on that !

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Ooop's - I Shouldna' done That!

 

Domestic Violet Writes:

The Joy in the glory of the Morning Glory, is the refreshing candor of the young.

Every interaction with Glory, brings a wealth of gifts. She is among the people closest to me . A good friend of mine - the Glory - she gives me pause to think, while she never hesitates to state her case. It is her forthrightness I admire, along with an unusual level of maturity for someone her age. Above all things I do not admire Cowardice, only falling into self - loathing when finding my own. I made the sound a chicken makes plenty in my day, and grew to deal with things straight on. Glory, too.

Today she came to visit, with need of a musician for a gig. I was able to help with that. I have been in the company of music, and the musicians therein, for most of my life. An interesting breed, we music makers. One in particular "is playing in at least eight dimensions," according to The Mountain Music store owner, so I hooked-up my son the Phenomenon and Miss Glory. She had the opportunity to hear The Phenomenon play his guitar and was most impressed - enough to come asking about him. He is among the people closest to me, so I know how to find him. In my travels through the world of music, I am the singer, one who sacrificed my own possible deal in music to be a mother and a wife to - you guessed it  - other musicians. Most of the music I made was at my own table. And I sang to my children as we rocked and rolled. So, naturally each of my children has their own particular musical gifts. I am never sorry that my children had as much a normal life as possible, I only wish I had not put myself on a back shelf while trying to be the wind at the backs of the men in my life. It's never too late . . . this the gift in the message from Tina Turner, who can be found in the long list of  VIOLET'S SONGS, eventually.

The world of music is well-known for it's drama and violent aspects. Who could believe the same sensitivity to sound and vibration and timing, with innate ability to create - has the capacity to also exhibit violence. Only those who have existed there can know of what I speak, so I will give my best to illustrating it for those who have been spared. ILLUSTRATION is another area of creativity for me - I am an artist - against my own will initially, an artist is not what I was going to be when I grew up !!!!! Music simply came naturally to and from me - a part of THE ME. Both of my parental units were creative types - you can see why this was not attractive to me.  Little Vi had ideas of becoming a DOCTOR - a need to "fix" what ailed others. The world said, NO -you must be a nurse, you are a girl !!! This was ridiculous to Little Vi - why would this BE, she wondered????? Are YA CRAZY ????????????????????   Where the hell am I ?   Anyway, I am compelling to CREATIVITY most of the time - of all kinds - whether it be with a paint brush, or a pencil, or a typewriter, I CANNOT NOT.

Creative types are compelled. Like junkies. The ability to express myself has saved my life, more than once. I understand it to be, in my case, perhaps wired into my genetic code. Something to thank the PARENTS for."

Many relationships with musicians later, I will suffice it to say that CREATION drew us together, our common denominator initially. They are still my favorite people in the whole world. I believe there to be a CREATIVE facet to everyone, sometimes and usually yet undiscovered . One of my favorite things is assisting those who say I CAN'T, to find I CAN, instead. My bible is "THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD."

Because I THINK I CAN - I CAN!!!

And so, DO all I can with the GIFTS I have been given. I see life as a gift, a precious one that I had no right to abuse, still don't, never will have the right to destroy myself, and will never again allow any one to abuse THE GIFT. When CREATION brings with it DESTRUCTION - it is a very bad day on the planet. And I am all for the Beauty  ( Artist ) Violet's hues - and true colors.

Today Morning Glory Miss comes to visit and brings, along with stories of gigs, a past confession ( the DOCTOR IS IN ) of violence toward a female - a beating she gave a younger teenager than herself girl who asked for an ass-whipping, repeatedly antagonizing Glory, until she finally gave in and finished the fight the other girl had started. The girl did not fight back, and Glory expressed her remorse at going against her naturally sweet nature. OOOP's - I SHOULDNA' done That !!!!!

Confession truly is good for the soul. I like it - very freeing, but for me it must be followed by a sincere amendment of behavior.  If I'm just sorry, but continue to beat people up, I am simply a LIAR, another thing I do not admire, along with COWARDICE, both extremely unattractive character defects. To take ownership of one's behavior - good and bad - I will say more about in VIOLET's RIGHTS and VIOLET's wrongs.

Who among us has not had some of the OOOP's - I SHOULDNA' done That ?????  My favorite Violet's Wrongs involves a significant other who found herself on the other end of my wrath as we grew up. I wish I could have found a way to never lay a hand on her, but it was impossible at the time. It was all I could do to  get the little agitator "off me" and this became the foundation for inter-personal life skills by the time she was three and I was four years young. Though I stopped becoming physical with her over twenty years ago. I stopped the behavior, amending it, ending it. The bottom line is that NO ONE has to forgive us, nor us them.

I wish for those I love all things, but more than anything - their heart's desire. 

I choose peace first, which required enormous change in my life, and it does not include hatred - a position for sissies or liars. When some one is trying to kill us with their bare hands, we are naturally frightened. The fear produced by ABUSE is enormous. The LUNATIC in any form is frightening - I've had to "talk a couple of them down," in my day. And have beaten by them too many times, absolutely blown away by their brutality. ( There is not a mean bone in my body, ask my children - children KNOW in a way noboby else can; all children know their parents at a CORE level - unique to their relationship ) It was against my very being to hurt anything. I had a problem with insects when I was Little Vi, did not want to step on them and hurt or kill them - bothered me very much.

Domestica Violetta has forgiven herself for being a child who did the best she could coming from where she was coming from and with what she had to work with at the time.                     

I'll be back with some of my OOOP's, and Your OOOP's, everywhere an OOOP's, OOOP's!!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi  ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Dear Domestic Violet Insights

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving !

Hey Readers !!!

Hail Turkey Hunters !!!

Ho Ho Ho is on it's way !!!

Hope you have a wonderful day - every day !!!

Heaven's just a smile away !!!

Here and now - the only way, they say !!!

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""          

 

Dear Domestic Violet:

My girlfriend finds my porn and wants to break up with me !!!!

What should I do ????

signed,

Grab Ass Crab Grass

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear G.A.C.G. ~

Rewind to the reason for the porn, the truth in your attraction.

Of course, your woman wants nothing to do with you; it is the women you are exploiting while objectifying - what is that saying about your view of her?  More importantly, it speaks voulmes about you. Grow Up - deal with your " stuff " and don't send any more bad KARMA to yourself by expecting the Next Girlfriend to co-sign this shit.

Really,

Domestic Violet

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Miss Morning Glory Flower is among the youngest in the bouquet. Her place in the arrangement, one of the most recent. Morning Glory stories make my day, some days. She mentioned in our chats that she felt men would not abuse women if only we women wouldn't "ALLOW" it.  At a later date, on another subject, it was serendipitous that I should compare the difficulties she described with a significant other as "WHY WOMEN STAY."

Morning Glory expressed that 70% of the time she and her "other" had great times, but 30% was hell. 

That is why women stay. !!!!!  - Violet replied.

As if a veil had been ripped from her Glory eyes, she looked at me open-faced and wide-eyed. " Oh my, it is the same thing, isn't it? " - she apologized profusely for implying that women stayed for only God knows what reason, but one she could not wrap her mind around until we had this little chat. The 70 %, and the kids and the finances and our families and our neighbors and our friends and our pride and our insecurity and our hopes and our dreams. And a million other reasons, the most important being FEAR. It paralyzes most people, quite a depressant. "

DEPRESSED PEOPLE CANNOT TAKE ACTION

DEPRESSED PEOPLE CANNOT TAKE ACTION

again,

DEPRESSED PEOPLE CANNOT TAKE ACTION 

I became paralyzed by FEAR and could not leave, until I could - Vi

There are many ways to abuse without ever touching someone - as WE discover slowly as we grow how abusive pronography is, and how abusive our own families can be. She need not ever experience a physical beating to join the FLOWER GIRLS in the vase. "

WHERE CREEPS CREEP: 

A coffee shop half a mile away hires young women to work alone without telling them the business comes with built-in threat from the homeless hobo's living in a refrigerator box behind the parking lot in the rear - one that borders railroad tracks. Yes, they are human beings. No, women should not put themselves naively at risk.

Gardenia ( introduced in OFF DUTY, DUTY ) was found dead in the basement of a quaint little shop. A cash drawer was missing. Her life for a small pile of money, or so it appeared.

Be safe this Holiday

Have Fun  -  Tell the WORLD - Stevie Nicks

Semper Vi  *&%^$#@

Domestic VIOLET

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

                           

Off Duty, Duty

 

Do you care that it's HOLIDAY SEASON??? Me, too! There is a Christmas Tree up and running in my house 365 days of the year - for a few years now. I'm so glad Jesus was born, but I am really concerned about the other 364 days. He probably is, too.

Probably is like " maybe, might, if  " . . . words we need to listen for carefully.

Idiot-material types PROBABLY thought I said something more definite, like maybe I know the mind of GOD or something! Fuhget About It!!!  It's just that HE was such a great guy, you know - authentically humble, as in - he knew his worth. The kind of guy I long to chat with on a regular basis. I truly think HE is wondering when everybody is going to step off His Birthday and get on with the rest of life. He doesn't strike me as someone so in need of attention!" 

~ Dom Vi ( striving to be where I'm at, when I'm there )

Domestic Violet Writes:

One of my jobs on the planet ( and I have many ) is to care for those who truly cannot care for themselves. My children were some of those people, when they were young, and as they grew became among the people in the group mentioned below. My husbands were not those people, but thought they were, causing much confusion and chaos, and pain and suffering.

When I was not clear about who those people were, I added to the mix of chaos my own confusion, while trying to help everyone, and anyone. Today I know the difference quite a bit better than ever, in the process of learning HOW and When to GIVE; confining my caregiving to the elderly and infirm, and to the people closest to me, with whom I have developed a kind of mutual nurturing and respect.

Recently, while on duty in a caregiving situation, I chanced to speak to an off-duty law enforcement official, a relative of my client. A few years ago, a friend was murdered in a gift store, a beautiful little shop in a high dollar commercial area, a store I work in for a considerable period of time. A Christmas Tree or two were always up, decorated for each holiday, every day in this quaint hundred year old building. I relocated shortly before this tragedy, was rocked and reeled by her death - gave a call to the detective in charge, who never called me back, and I cannot figure out to this day - why NOT? So, the off-duty COP said either they are lazy, or I am not a PRIORITY!!!!!

ARE YOU SHITTING ME  ????????????????????????????????????????????????

Apparently it's true that sometimes there is no real help for WOMEN. Apparently the MEN in charge did not find my experience with the victim, or my observations as an employee important enough to talk to me.

So, as you can well imagine, this certainly put my mind at ease................NOT!!!!!!!!

It is so nice to know the level of competency among our law enforcement officials. Apparently, they do not want to solve this case!

A precious flower

plucked out of the vase

ripped from the bouquet

taken out of the garden

victim in her final hour

She shall be called  Gardenia

the favorite scent of the stolen Power

More about Gardenia later, and always, and I shall never forget . . .

Forgiveness is the fragrance of the VIOLET on the heel of the shoe that crushed it . . .

Really,

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . From the VORTEX

 

Anonymous Bouquet

 

The Flower Girls: 

                               Calendula, and Daisy, Sunflower and Rosie, too

                             Impatiens and the Poppy, just to name a few

                             The Iris and the Peony, the Tiger of the Lilies

                               They get to say just how it was, and will remain anonymous

                            Their stories tragic, we can agree, their pain too much to bear

                            They cry and laugh, and tell it all because they care ...

 

The Flower girls are only some of the women whose lives have touched mine - a few who are honest enough to tell the truth about the abuse in their lives. They have given me great courage to go forth with Domestic Violet, and their anonymity will be protected at all times, as well as all others. Their stories are rich with experience, their dedication to changing their lives - unending. Like the Flower girls, I am recovering from the long range effects of terror, not in the streets or the world at large, but the horror in my own house, my home - the place that should be sanctuary . . .

While I cannot lie and tell you that I have not been dented by my experience, I will say that I have been shaped by events which prompted me to look for the meaning in it, the lesson, the hope.

How do we go from hopelessness to hope?

Only those who found themselves there can answer that. From the youngest to the oldest of us, an inner strength was found, an authentic Power received. How else would we survive to tell about it?  Now the task is to pass it on, with truth, with humor, and above all, with love.

I believe real love resides in truth, real compassion results from acknowledging our own pain, and real forgiveness is a process which takes time. Until I forgave myself for being a victim, I was destined to remain victimized.

I'll be back

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . From the VORTEX

 

The Domestication of Violet

 

Did we all survive Hallowed Halloween?

It was uneventful here, save The Wolf and Red Riding Hood at my door; darkly quiet on my street.

A Ninja showed up with his mother. She is currently domesticated, about

the business of home and family; a Ninja, his brother, and a husband and dog keeping her

busy. Various pets and projects, sports and Saturdays, play dates and headaches, tear jerks and

T-shirts. I know the ingredients well.

Violet and Miss Morning Glory in the garden, and how does your garden grow?

. . . when I was little Vi, there was yet to be the T.V. I really loved the television at first - who wouldn't? The itty bitty screen in the big wooden box was fascinating to me. How did they get all the little people in the box, I wondered?   Morning Glory snickered at this.

Violet said: Glory, I know that seems strange to you young people, but I remember life before the damn thing; when real families were having it bad enough, and then along comes Ozzie and Harriet and Father Knows Best and Leave it to fucking Beaver, for the cripes sake! Nothing has been the same since we were given the unreality of the T.V. families.   

Ozzie and Ward were not in the kitchen terrorizing their wives, and Bud and the Beaver did not show any signs of deep-seated psychological disorders from childhood trauma, although Eddie Haskell certainly had potential. My point is the difference between what came on the television screen and what was happening in my kitchen. Screen - kitchen, screen - kitchen, pardon me for noticing.

It made the crap going on look even crappier, and by then I was molded like fresh clay into a good little Violet with impeccable manners and posture, regularly brushed teeth, patent leather shoes with little white socks, and a crinoline under my ever-present skirt. Girls did not aspire to much other than being bigger girls,  who all were obviously expected to marry and give birth to other little girls and boys, and live happily ever after.

Well - Miss Glory, from my perspective as a child growing up in similar upheaval, the so-called adults in charge of me were teaching more to me than they could ever know. Along with 'do as I say, not as I do,' there was still the idea that children should be seen and not heard lingering in the air from the dark ages. Also lingering was a stifling tension left from every episode of horrific fighting, choking me to death. By the time I was wearing patent leather, every natural instinct had been disciplined out of me, as it is with all humans who are directed to 'fit' into a society. All of the wild has been broken in most of us early on, and that which is carved into the clay is slowly fired as in the kiln, for the rest of our lives. Women were for fu_ _ing and cooking, while men wore suits and crew cuts, and ruled with an iron fist  when I came into the world. Slavery had been abolished long before, at least for black-skinned people in this country, but not so for women who were kept in matrimony from experiencing their lives as anything but a repository for a man and a personal servant to their own children. I know an eighty-nine year old woman who says she's never had an orgasm in her whole life, and still does the laundry for her fifty-eight year old son.

I was sure as a five year old that this was all wrong, but of course was stifled if I made mention of my observations, learning to mistrust my own perceptions and certainly my intuition. I was a nervous wreck, really, one who was prone to stuttering when attempting to talk, so sometimes didn't. I just watched my family a lot, while they showed me one thing, but said another and I felt very confused and frightened most of the time.

The same hands that hugged me on occasion, hurt me quite frequently, you know - breaking down the wild. This is what love is, I surmised, as my father beat my mother. I saw their love for each other, these passionate teenagers who gave birth to me right out of high school - yet they screamed and she cried and he hit and he left and I took my little sister to hide in a closet away from this more than once. And the message I received was that it was all because of me. My parents got married because of me. And I was guilty for existing.

That is what little people do with big news like that. And their lives were forever altered because I lived. And it was all my fault, in such a real way I could almost pull chunks of it out of the air that was choking me. When they were not engaged in domestic warfare they were busy micro-managing my every move. My slightly pigeon-toed little Vi feet were needing to walk straight, they pointed out repeatedly. " Yes, ma'am and thank you, sir. " Nothing happened without the magic words. And I was ambushed by a finger jabbed at my back in an effort to produce good posture, or one at my belly to tuck my tummy in, and as I tripped over my pigeon toes while forgetting to say please, I was wanting to die, though I wasn't quite sure what that was, but surely the fighting would stop if I was gone, since it was all my fault, and then they could get a child who could do it right and had straight feet and back, and did not stutter. And then I would not be afraid, and my mother, who could not protect me or herself, would not be hit anymore by my father because he would not be mad, and he would not hit me anymore either or my sister, or punch anymore holes in the walls, and we would not have to move again - back in with grampa and grama or back out. All if I was not.

And so it happened that little Violet was dented from the beginning, with the idea that I was responsible, and unlovable - love being melded with violence, priming me to identify the feeling of certain danger as coinciding with the only experience of safety I had learned to recognize.

One did not exist without the other.

In kindergarten, a boy hit me and I was told that it was because he liked me. Girls were treated differently at school than boys, who clearly were some kind of superior beings who would hurt those who dared cross them, and those who didn't. These random acts of terrorism were not questioned by too many teachers or parents, and were traditionally explained away with 'boys will be boys,' or some such nonsense that warped my view of the other sex, morphed them into being supra - humans who required extreme placating so no one got hurt.

The only place I found relative safety was in the laps of my grandmothers, women who had years of experience with surviving being women, and with placating my grandfathers. My mother was busy dealing with her abusive husband. Even the grandmothers I loved dearly, and I know they loved me, would brandish a weapon to line up my wild young self if necessary. One liked a hairbrush and the other preferred taking a fly-swatter to my bare legs, reinforcing that love and pain would be inseparable for this growing Violet."

Further Domestication of Violet, next post- stay tuned!!!!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi &%@#

Survivor . . . FROM THE VORTEX

Impatiens

 

TRICK OR TREAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry,  I just had to let it rip, there

I'm sure you don't care

My energy in motion is on the

move

Emoting from within

danger for the kin

No word yet if young, newly-wounded Impatiens has been rescued. A posse of women could be heading for bumswala "Wherever-he-is" in a flash, and that's why Impatiens is not calling for help. To protect him, and herself. No one wants to make this call. He became FREE WITH HIS HANDS  according to my someone  Impatiens told this sad truth to; that she had been harmed by the young man who took her away from her home to live with him. If Impatiens can't tell the truth, I will. This is what I am emoting about. While everyone waits - every four seconds a women is battered - I hope and pray Impatiens gets to live to decide to take the next step. I know why women stay, and go back for more.

They hope and they pray,

it will all go away . . .

"So that's why women stay",  said Violet to Morning Glory. "And then money makes it harder " - piped up the lovely Rose. "And power and control" - Sunflower insisted. And she's a Kansas burr-face type. "Its all a buncha hype " complained dear Daisy Dukesup, "hen you fall in love with a baby raper. You can never tell who is the type!"

Depressed people cannot take actionagain,

Depressed people cannot take action

 

Depressed people cannot take action

It is so boring, ugly, pathetic, and against life itself, to be beaten by a fellow human that depression is inevitable and renders most folks somewhat paralyzed. Fear is like that - Nasty - and it has my attention at the moment. Impatiens is in danger simply because there will be a " next time. " Only in the movies is there not a "next time." So, I am on high alert, and not liking it one bit.

I try to be rid of the fear as soon as possible once I have registered the threat, arresting the powerful life-sucking force that it is, before it can render me helpless, or dangerous. I am dangerous to myself when I feel frightened by the confusion that follows being attacked in a threatening manner by another human being! I was a Trekkie for Spock !!!!!! Beam me up, please.

To fight the natural impulse to defend one's life as

ANYone does and Everyone will is not natural.

I stayed with abusive types because the instinct to protect myself was corrupted.

It was "domesticated" out of me early on; by repeated examples of violence.

Fear was so never gone,  that I no longer registered the emotion in any healthy way.

We are all  somehow invincible as young persons, but for me the fear factor factored out the normal response to feeling threatened. We instinctively flee or fight in the face of danger. I did one instead of the other, or one excluding the other for long periods of life. Usually I fought. With my presence. I fought to hide the " bruise on me again " and fought to stay for the day the hand that harmed me would soothe me at last, once again, finally.  That day never was, never comes, never will.

The repercussions for staying sometimes outweighed the inevitable, even worse retaliation I faced if I were to flee. This proved true in my attempts to end it, repeatedly. It is called HELL.

"Illogical that you all would stay"

perplexed perennial Poppy cried. "I would have left if he even tried !!!"

"You won't know what you will do, not until it happens to you", chided Tiger Lily.

Until you walk inside my shoes, how can you really know?   

The open face of Morning Glory turned to say that

"Wrong is wrong, moccasins or not, your three year old knows what you're up to - he could say a lot !"

More Later . . . Domestic Violet

Soon to come:

            Dom Vi

           ( Cut the CRAP ! )

            Mom Vi

           ( At my best with my babies )

            Little Violet

            Wild child Violet

           ( How to create a rebel )

            Violet Hues

           ( There is no need to embellish, the truth is ugly enough )

            Violet Rites 

           ( Rituals without a cauldron )

            Violet's Rights

           ( This is where other people go out )

            Violet's Wrongs

           ( This is where other people come in )

            Violet's Sights

            Violet's Songs

            Vi et armis

           ( Under the lash )

            Dear Domestic Violet Insights

            And . . . if the cat could talk

           ( Big'nCat'nfat'ncat )

Really,

Domestic Violet - ( Whose relationships with men have been of the trick or treat variety, but then some of the women have been pretty "special," too.)

Happy Halloween, and here's hoping your having treats !

Next post: How Violet became domesticated.

I'll keep you posted - no pun intended

Semper Vi  #%?&$!

Survivor . . . FROM THE VORTEX

Domestic Violet and the Flower Girls

Hi !

HEY !

Listen up y'all please !!!

On the Eve of the Eve of the Hallowed,

it is most appropriate and my pleasure to intoduce to you:

Domestic Violet and The  Flower Girls

At the close and almost the last minute of Domestic Violence Awareness Month

We bring you the tragedy, and sometimes comedy in the lives of Domestic Violet, her friends and acquaintences, neighbors and co-workers - various others of varying significance

then and now

a group of SURVIVORS

wantING to tell what IT WAS LIKE

WHAT HAPPENED AND

WHAT IT'S LIKE NOW

We are The Flower Girls - Miss Morning Glory and  Daisy Dukesup among us

And Rose, and Sunny flower and Peony

Calendula, Aunt Calla, and Tiger Lily

and there's IRIS in the back

We're a garden of girls

now grown to Women

who've been beat up by guys

for the most part

and yes sometimes 

we hit 'em back !

And this is our plan of attack

We're telling our stories

if you care or

if not

because we do !!!

We come to you on behalf of all the battered women of the world, and especially young and impatient Impatiens, who has recently joined the ranks of the terrorized females on the planet.

Every Four Seconds a Woman is battered to statistic . . . You will cry and you will laugh and cry some more, and when you put down your crying towel, perhaps you will wake up. Wake Up!

MAKE IT STOP !

Stay Tuned  -  I'll be back with the adventures of an anonymous

bouquet of FLOWERS

and the men who

brought them together with Violet, as Dear Domestic Violet insights gives an

inside look at the Love War, Lovers at War, the plight of the fight in the middle of

the night.

The bruise, the fractured heart, and everyone's part.

The names are changed to protect the guilty, and the innocent.

If the shoe fits, wear it !!

If you can relate - there's more hope than not

But - not to worry - your deepest ( and you are who, again? )

darkest secrets will never come out

if that's what you're worried about

This is about  ME and some others

and our experiences

no one can tell us we didn't have them

Or are we hearing voices and MAKING SHIT UP ?

my company thinks not and

thank you so much for

your attention to this matter

Our CIVILIZATION will not continue

for long

until the VIOLENCE STOPS !

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~~~~~~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX