If you live long enough
your true nature
finds itself
and lets you know
Not the one you were made out
to be
but
the one you are
no need for external PERMISSION
no need for " what you're not " . . . . .
. . . . as Adults we are expected
to Rise ABOVE the level of Children !
- DR. PHIL -
as he watched
so did I
the behavior of a Bullying father
one so immature he had to be told this simple truth
on National Television
while a camera in his living room
reeled off my life
One that's been a constant struggle to
overcome being dented by
The children were being scarred for life
as I watched
it touched mine
How could it not ?
I was touched by my
innocence
by theirs . . .
It is what
compassion
is about
Granted - children are unruly
who knows better than MOM Vi ?
but nothing is more frightening for a child
than realizing their parent is one, too
As he terrorized the children
leaving permanent wrents
I remember scents
the smell of fear
and nervous perspiration
salt from my tears
and applesauce smears on the baby's face
who doesn't know what is going on
and neither do I, but it's
happening again
in the life of little Vi
Rice cereal on the FlOOR !
which caused this great explosion
she said something he didn't like
as well
flinting it to flames
smoke curls up my nose
Crisis fire rages
There will be no peace for hours
no peace would come for years . . .
. . . sharp slices of static remain
for inhalation
and later when it's brought out
for re-examination
the whole damn thing blows up and
starts again
begetting the begotten who begot . . .
I turn the TV off
It would be deliberate manufacture
of my own misery
to watch a Bully any longer
It's why I don't like football
( ten thousand people sCrEaMing is not
my idea of fun, still, yet - again )
I don't like to see anyone get hurt
Familiar
with pain
I simply won't volunteer any more
There's the door . . .
and no need to puff up and
get big - myself
part of not needing " what you're not "
No will to raise my voice
in that fashion
saving my energy for more
altruistic matters
The Crisis fires of my Violet youth became
my Violet life
Another Bully, in my bed
to feed my head with wrong
information about
me
as I believed the words of
a liar - one more time
and then he hit me, too
so he could feel
not so
small
and another Bully right after
that one
was even smaller
and broke my jaw
Another crisis, another trauma drama
U-haul Emergency
another stretch of single Vi-ness
Some other crises, another break - up
another bruise upon my eye
the one left damaged
with altered sight
forever
because I said something the bully
didn't like ?
And what would he do in a REAL Crisis ?
Well, he cried on the lawn when
I
left
And - Dr. Phil -
expressed his outrage
as the Bully did the side-stepping
back-pedaling, after-the-fact cheap shot
evasive Bully Shuffle -
one I'm familiar with -
as his wife let out a snuffle
while I remembered now just why I
got divorced
as time heals and I forget
I had no choice by the time
I had to choose
- it had to stop -
It brings to mind the critical nature of my
previous posts - especially the Global What ?????????
a scale of right proportion
for the appropriate
response
the proper place for one's aggression
along with Domestic Violence and
WAR
and child abuse and Cancer
and other such HORRENDOUS atrocities
and things of MAGNITUDE and consequence
deserving of our ATTENTION
and precious Time and Energy !
Why then do we distract ourselves
in our mundanity
by finding "A BIG FUCKING DEAL"
in one that is not
SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN A REAL CRISIS
when the Crisis fire is hot !
" Oh, that's just the way WE are, " will
never never do
for people on the Planet
or the ones in your living room
and bring your own food -
while the fire is piping hot
The Bully has need to do battle
to somehow not lose to the " win "
That " competitive " force re-directed
could solve the ills
of the world WE live in
As ADULTS I believe it's expected
along with the good Dr. Phil
that we try by and by to pick battles
that matter
" what she said " doesn't rank at the top
when WE ALL on the Planet
together
face the same
burning up of the EARTH
Make it STOP !!!!!!
We aren't victims in this by along shot
volunteering with our " REMOTE " power
at a place where there's no turning back
now
The true VICTIMS are ambushed
like those in IRAQ
and the women in AFGHANISTAN
or by a child who's a bully
in the bathroom at school
like the children - minding their own
business at
COLUMBINE
as a MAN beats up his girl-friend
who has made her too fearful to leave
or a car is jacked by a thief
or the RAPIST with date drugs
or NOT
The real VICTIMS in this life are the
children and wives
who fear for their lives in the night
Other VICTIMS are born of confusion
and lies about what they are not
Some are born with their spines
in a knot
Some are born missing genes
with a syndrome called Downs
Some are born into Countries
that FIGHT
some are born with a brain
not wired right
If you're not one of those
then step down
from your outraged imagined
SELF plight
and step UP to the plate
to maintain your nice life
RECYCLE because it is right
like Respect and a two - way street
and be kind to your web-footed friends
for a duck may be somebody's MOTHER !
" You apparently have no good BOUNDARIES "
Dr. Phil told the MAN and his Wife
" And while you doth protest, please just let me
suggest
you get out, unless you do it right
No one has to put up with your
temper
No one has to put up with your fights
Children HAVE TO grow up with
a high self-esteem
and safety
for them to live right "
So, feel good about yourself as you
end the VIOLENCE
by not living in it YOURSELF
and feel good when you THINK beyond YOU
and your comforts and WATCH WHAT YOU
PUT IN THE CAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reconsider your viewing of "USELESS"
check yourself if you "NEED SOMETHING NEW"
re-arrange your criterion
for what's " kicked to the curb "
leaving LESS for your local TRASH men
They know what you throw out !
and without a doubt
everything you do Differently will help
Unless you're too caught up in the sick DRAMA
of the "he said" and "she said" bullshit
who cares ?
when there are REAL people with real
PROBLEMS
deserving your attention
STOP THROWING Away
PLASTIC BAGS FULL OF OTHER PLASTIC BAGS
that cannot be RECYCLED just yet
Do not use them in the first place - DUH !
FIND A AWAY To leave this EARTH
better than you found it
Stop Violence by changing how you think
no, not with a drink
with a hug and a genuine smile
We're ALL in this together
no one gets out alive
all seriousness aside
" if we all lived forever
where would we
park? " (Anonymous)
Domestic Violet
Semper Vi &#@*%
Survivor . . . from the VORTEX