Domestic Violet

Dear Domestic Violet . . .

writes BILLY the BLOCKHEAD -

" I called this woman

for the first time in a year -

yeah I've known her a long time -

about ten years and she was in love with me once

but now . . .

she doesn't understand how I want

to come to her town and have meaningless sex

every once in a while -

am I wrong ? "

Dearest Billy the Blockhead -

BILLY BILLY BILLY !

Your BLOCK-head goes on and

on . . .

C'MON Man !

Are the gears in your

Coupe

the only thing you understand ???

Why would she want to to do THAT ???????

H'mmm ????

Sooo

what - are you thinking you can just call her up for

casual sex

anytime that you wish to ?

And if she was in love with you -

once upon a time ten years ago then

more than likely she is

OVER YOU and/or iT

and will not have

time

for what you are proposing

but

just out of curiosity

what breed of dog

are you ??? . . . .

Dear Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Dear Cyberspace . . .

. . . I am in a quandary

at present

I want to

go there

deliver the

much appreciated payment

personally this time

end the silent years

I want to

show up

say I love you so much

and say

"You have to STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!"

the madness

the drinking

the chaos

it is killing ALL OF US !!!

But alas Dear Cyberspace

I cannot . . .

so what say you?

What do I do?

              REALLY,

              Domestic Violet

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Domestic Violet ~

What is it you already

know

that you are questioning?

Come on now

spit it out!

Say what you know

what you have seen on the subject and

the answer

will filter out ~

              Cordially,

              Cyberspace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Cyberspace ~

This much I know for certain

I live in a world of

transformation

where miracles happen

along with

the rest of the

shit that life is!

Found in the rooms of

recovery programs

are some of the sickest

of God's children

and some of them are

the finest of God's children

and some of the finest

were once the sickest

and I've seen countless

human beings

at "the bottom" they finally hit

thousands

over 2.5 decades

come through the doors with

 

ESCAPEE FROM THE ABYSS

written all over their faces

the fall from

grace

etched in the skid marks

the unmistakable eyes of those

barely alive!

I've seen them take up their

death beds and

walk again -

clean and

free!

I took up my own and am

walking again now

free to be me!

I've seen Men

stop drinking alcohol and using drugs

and stop beating up Women and

I've seen the battered Women

stop drinking and drugging and

stop being beaten

of course usually there is not one without the other

Men and Women

drinking and beating

and I've seen the

damage done

damage that cannot be undone

can only be amended

insanity ended

forgiven or

not

no one has to

we know

we can only hope

and HOPE is all we've got

by the time we enter The ROOMS

and I've seen

a lot !!!!!

I've been on "the firing line"

been of service

where alone we perish

but together we've won

been spared

granted

reprieve on a daily basis

but

while MUCH is required

so much more is gained

a second chance to

right the wrongs

of life so pained!

I have Done the WORK

"not for sissies" for sure -

and I've got the TOOLS

for doing DIFFERENTLY  than ever before

and I gave freely

to those in need

held their heads while they puked

and then drove them to

REHAB

held their hands through the meetings

drove them home

gave them food and

money to cover their bills

cared for their children

carried the "MESSAGE" to

jails and institutions and

mentored "new people

regarding  HOW IT WORKS

on the path of recovery

as was "done unto me"

and from what I can see

on my behalf

mountains were moved

so that I

would not DIE!!!!

And I've seen them try and

cry and try again

and I am one of them

one who they have witnessed

grow and change

and re-arrange

from the inside out

without a doubt

I am one!

And I have seen some of them

die

because we do not all

get it

want it

live it

I've seen them

take their own lives

Women and Men

when they  "cannot live without it and they cannot

live with it" 

either, too, also

and "they" are people just like you and

me too -

Sick and Tired of being

 

SICK AND TIRED

by the time they make their

first meeting or

phone call

whatever the first step taken to

save their own soul

and by then their lives are

wrecked

"SELF-will run riot to the

extreme"

oftentimes out of work and

in debt

family leaving or

already lost

sweet relationships dead and

gone

"Got a court date" . . . and  "Hot U.A.'s "

a familiar song

and  . . . "can I get a ride ?"

and  "can I bum a smoke?"

as they learn to drink the

coffee

without spilling the contents

shaking and quaking

detoxing

right before our eyes

if

they  keep coming back

and WE all encourage them to

WE have found the keys

to the Kingdom and it's

all right here for you!

I have seen the

lack of self-esteem

become

calm and

clear

and wise

their worth realized

and

I have seen the dark veil of

death

slowly lift from their

awakening eyes

I am one

and I've seen them

shrink at nothing

by way of restitution -

becoming

neither servile nor scraping

and bowing before no Man

returning

to the "mainstream of life"

again

and for some it is the

first time

as contributing members of

society

and I have seen the best intentions

wind up at the gates of hell

while the judgy world

assesses

only our actions instea!

About the time I think

I have seen and heard

everything by now -

a new one of us

will share "their story"

their past

as some new facet of the same stuff

will be revealed

that knocks me off my chair

a seat earned by me

long ago and

repeatedly

the hardest way possible

short of being a P.O.W.

but then

battered Women have

similar scars and

I am one

formerly now

and I have seen

other Women

END THE VIOLENCE

in their lives

and I've also seen them

die

but the ones who SURVIVE

can all agree

like the FLOWER Girls and me

that it took

"Everything they've got"

and that which they do not

was provided by those who are waiting to help

if they only reach out!

"To live or not"

the question must be answered

by the sufferer

alone

and I've seen many

choose NOT

but

on the other hand

I've seen them change their minds

in the nick of time

and rally

returning to peace

and sobriety

"with as much tenacity "  as described by a member

when I survived

a decade long relapse

and walked through the doors

once again

and I've seen over and over

No Man Stays SOBER

when sobriety is

imposed upon him

by nagging wives and

courts of law

to paraphrase OUR experience!

"WE simply do not

Get Well " ( this is beyond just stopping drinking )

if we are there for the wrong reasons"

and I've seen all the

circumstances

heard all the stories

wept at the funerals

applauded the

glories

learned how to

LISTEN and

tell my truth to you

in the safety of the

environment of RECOVERY

because I wanted to

because I said so

because I said YES to LIFE

instead of NO!!!!!!!!

Then and only then

can Providence move!!!

So thank you Cyberspace

for creating the arena

for allowing the process required

for the answer to come

so I know

as much as I would like to try

to save my suffering loved one

I cannot

Only a HIGHER POWER

and honest desire

can save that one . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

Dear Domestic Violet . . .

. . .  please help !

I can't seem to keep a woman around

I'm a really neat guy and

I like things super clean

always in their place at all times

but

I'm a very FAIR person - as in - if I should

so should you!

Women say I'm classic OCD and they can't live with me and

call me a CONTROL FREAK

but I'm just a former Marine

been playing the field since my only marriage broke up

and I don't understand why women can't cater to me

and why do they mind when I tell them what to do

where to go and when

and who to talk to?

And why don't they know how available they need to be at all times

for ME and me only?

The last few women cheated on me!!!

My last girlfriend was 25 and we were very compatible sexually

she wanted sex as much as I do 

several times a day and there wasn't anything she would not do

but she had unruly children who would not mind me and

she kicked me to the curb when I mentioned her brat's behavior

so I moved on from that

and recently I met a lady over 50 - first one in my own age group

in a long time and WOW is she a pistol!

She is smart and real creative but not so crazy like

that last younger girlfriend was!!!

At one point she said to me "I know you have siblings yet you seem like a

spoiled only child to me

how can that be?

Violet what do you suppose she means by that?

And how can she talk to me like that after I bought her a CD?

When I left it on her front porch she got mad!

I looked up her address in the telephone book

went there real early in the first week I knew her

"UNINVITED"  she said!

So what!!!

So what if I did not wait for her invitation

just who does she think she is anyway

she's just another dame to me!

(only good for one thing)

                                      signed -

                                      Dog - under the couch

                                      with his tail sticking out ~

P.S. After one week and one month I kicked her to the curb

before she could kick me like I knew she would - they all do too!!

Poor me!!! What can I do about my bad luck with women???

                                                     BAD Jack Dog ~

Dear Dog . . .

. . . Oh how

apropos

at least you call yourself

what you are!!!

And you are a case of arrested development

who likes to have sex with

girls younger than your children?

So you are a neat  guy huh???

The women in your life say you are

controlling too?

Imagine that Jack!!!

So are 8 out of 10 people I talk to!

You strangely remind me

of my most recent relationship

attempt

and the one before that and

the one before that . . .

but most were not so

NEAT!!!

And the compulsion

for clean

you are describing

is just how you are

hiding

your insecurity

like the dog under the couch

but it isn't your tail sticking out

that makes women

get rid of you

the part you fail to GET

is that hiding in plain sight

like you do

under the couch where

you can't see them

does not mean

they cannot see you!!!!!!!

And it's a fact

you lack

tact

Jack

and some manners should be yours

by now

a man who is pushing 60

were you born in a barn or

raised in a houseful of

Chauvinist Pigs???

Pray tell

let me guess

your Momma spoiled her sons

but not her daughters

and never drove a car in her whole life

while your Daddy was a

notorious womanizer

who went to the bar

every single night

of your Momma's married life

as she catered to her husband

who held her hostage in the house

which she probably cleaned

incessantly

as was the DUTY of a wife!

Women your Mother's age

were raised to believe in

their "duty" and

their vows

even if it meant decades

of suffering

no quality of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your "over 50" lady

on the other hand

is young enough to maybe have

a different view and

was obviously doing life

for a very long time

before meeting you

and I

would love to hear from her

too!!!!!!!!!

In all Fairness

you would not mind that now would you

Bad Jack???

A much better name for you

and don't give me that

PRIVACY crap

everything here is written

ANONYMOUSLY

I'm just sayin' . . .

it might help me to help you

if I got to hear from the last lady

who strenuously objected to your

action and

you did want HELP

is that correct???

And it was you

was it not

who wrote to me

and not the other way around?????

Hmmmmmm?

Come on now!

Mull that over in your canine mind

and try to keep it straight

that I'M NOT WASTING MY TIME

if all you want to do is

BITCH!!!

I have nothing to offer but

my experience

and some Universal Truth

and solutions that work

but foremost and first

some HONESTY

has got to start

with YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get back to me . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

Dear Domestic Violet . . .

 

. . . Hey what's with the Dog stuff ? Don't be dogging ME!!! A MAN has needs, you know, and you can't be seriously comparing any Man you've ever been with to me? Why, I'm pridefully unique and regimented, disciplined and focused, aggressive and competitive and quite open-minded sexually, but I just don't see why it is so wrong to think of myself only when doesn't everybody ?

Most especially self-centered were the women who got me in trouble and double trouble - landing me in jail and naming and framing me, by the way ! And I've got more to say about the latest one, you know - the older one, and she's taller than me, too. I take issue with my own lack of stature - got a complex about it - and routinely only date women who are shorter than I am, but there is something about her that makes me break my own rules. Like when she did not take her shoes off when coming through my door - she should  know better - was she born in a barn ??? But I didn't say anything - can't she read my mind ??? My carpets are important for me to keep clean at all times - my Mother's floors were clean and how did you know she never drove a car ? And my father is not a womanizer any more than me ! We're just MEN with needs and if you're a MAN and you don't  " get it off " - it turns to cottage cheese and we get all crazy - you don't understand, there is nothing wrong with ME, but she needs plenty of re-arranging and in all fairness - I agree that she is not pursuing me and has that right after I kicked her to the curb, but if you want to hear from her it will probably be that I'm just a bad person. That's what all of them said when they kicked me in the head, and found another Man and got restraining orders against me and - oops -Oh !

Enough for now - I'll write more later Dear Violet ! Maybe you should be called Dear Dom Vi - you are not one of those Alpha females, are you - Domestic Violet ? The kind I don't get along with much, and I think the over 50 one might be, too, so I gotta go now - there's a hot little Beta thing waiting in my bed !!!!!! But there's something about that 50- something lady that makes me want to call her up when I'm done.

                                                                           BAD Jack Dog

Dear Dog . . .

.  .  . Oh Bow wow Wow wow

Wow!

I can feel your energy

way over here!

And I'm getting that you are  "not getting"

what is wrong here!!!

As focused and driven as

you may claim to be - you are missing

the point that is pointed out to you

carefully and clearly by the Lady

who at every juncture you seem to disregard

entirely!!!!!

What her preference is or is not

is all the info you should require

in order to appropriately

respond!

That is - if you care for her happiness

and perhaps you

do NOT

judging from your

whiney baby

Me ME MEeeeeee

response!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF she wanted you

at her door

she would invite you

for sure - so your business was to

"not go there" UNTIL  . . .

silly Jack Dog!!!

Where are you coming from??????

And did you tell the Lady about the 25 year old?

H'mmmmm?????

If so you broke rule #2 which is

never mention OTHER WOMEN

to the one

in front of you

it crowds up the room and

clouds up what is happening between the

two of you!

So don't go Doggin' Me Dogging You - DOG!!!!

I just call it like I see it and that is how I see you

and what you do

Bad Jack Dog!!!

You wrote to me to help you see

what is clearly missing from your

personal boundary - take your own

inventory and

I'm sure you don't want to

hear her stories of OTHER MEN

do you?

And would you like it if

she arrived at your door

at all hours of the day and night

with beta's in your bed and all?

Let's start with

those two aforementioned areas

and get back to me about what you are

going to do

about

you . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

Dear Domestic Violet . . .

. . . So what pray tell makes a guy turn infantile when you say

you had a good day 

that great things happened and then his tone

turns sullen on the phone

suddenly sulky and self-pitying - like a child

and I'm not really wild about parenting any Man these days

especially the ones over 55!!!

And the next thing he does is call back later to say   "It is OVER" !!!

So HIP HIP HOORAY!!! - this means he won't be showing up here

unannounced and uninvited at all hours - night and day and

his next little boy move is to punish me for having a life that

has nothing to do with him!

For over thirty years I have never given up

pursuing the mastery of my craft - an art form practiced only by some

the ones who had the discipline to learn and they would all say that

DISCIPLINE is also what they received  from relentless practice and

today I began my next job

in the business of

creation

and a Man copped an attitude when he 

 "figured I'd be too busy now"

and decided to emotionally and physically WITHHOLD

because I won't do what I'm told

which amounts to him not having

CONTROL

and I do not understand the need

of the freaky control needing ones

and what is wrong with me that I do not wish to fall again into

sickening co-dependency?

I must be remiss that I do not crave his kiss enough to make a

God of him and give up everything my life entails

while I take care of business sans his assistance and regardless of

his opinionated input!

"BITCHING" is what it is called when a girl does it - but it is

issuing "statements of fact" when it comes from a Man

one who can find a complaint in such items as

what time I go to sleep at night -

in my own bed

in my own home

as well as every move

made by his roommate who he will not talk to about  his issues!!!

He missed his calling - should have been a MOM - like some

I've met and witnessed way too long!

How did it get to be so quickly the oh so boring usual 

"damned if you do and  damned if you don't"

in a little over a week and a month?

I don't remember getting married late in April but I fell into

the Love thing for a spell - entertaining the notion

that we had maybe the right potion for a really great life but

he just needs a cooperative Fuck Thing - one lacking in

self esteem and I cannot

give him any of those things!

I tried for the first time in years to see what a long time

away from relating or dating brings and in this case it was the

same same same same same old

usual

perennially worn out tiresome thing!  LOL

I thought perhaps he was a different one when I prayed that

if a Man were meant to come he would be brought to MY FACE

so I would know who he was since I am not looking for one

and I met him a 6:45 in the a.m. while standing over

the open hood of my car

perennially in need of automotive repair and I could only stare

and make polite conversation with the first Man to turn my head

in many years

and I could only feel with a startle from a place protected

that I could care and dared to "go there" and

now that he has come and gone

I know once again

that love

like the lawn

will always come

again . . .

signed -

Lady Perennially Pausing

p.s. (He dates girls younger than his daughter and

I found out his history of harassing WOMEN

landed him in prison - so it's just as well that he went

on his way!)

Violet - what do you say ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lady -

RUN AWAY !!!

Don't look back and

maybe

one who deserves your company will find you

someday  . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

  

 

 

 

Dear Lady . . .

Could it be that you have

crossed paths with

Bad Jack Dog???

H'mmmm?

Or one with a similar

modus operandi going on?

I have no

explanation

for the immature

behavior of

some people 

while a few others are able

to "get it"

once in awhile!

I only know my own struggle

with maturing

and I know that real controlling people

are terrified

inside

and you Lady Perennially Pausing

are of the age

to have had some perennial experience

by now with such types

so

IF you have ever been abused as well

hooking up with Bad Jack Dog

could be a trip to hell!

Be glad he's moving on

of his own volition

and you did not have to

force the issue

and continue perennially pausing and wait for those

who deserve your company!

Don't let the bad apples ruin your

harmony and

steer clear of those who won't

take NO for an answer!

But I'm sure you know all this by now?

If not there are close to 500 posts here

for your

perusal

regarding relationships

of all kinds

ranging from

up close and personal

to political and environmental!

Domestic Violence is not only about

what happens between husband and wife

when they fight in the night -

it is

moreover

HUMAN inhumanity to

LIFE

a beautiful thing

created by

NONE OF US 

yet WE have assumed

dominion

over ALL of it!!!!!!!

And we're so surprised that it's such

a mess???

Arrogance

False pride

Greed and

Avarice

are things to look for

whenever WE discover

chaos

where peace once resided!

If you are indeed the Lady

referred to by

Bad Jack

I see the two of you as

unequally yoked as they come

and I've heard from him

too

and will tell you

I suggested he analyze

          SELF

but in his case it may be like

asking the mentally retarded to

say  "yes I am mentally retarded" !!!

For cases of arrested development -

unrelated to extra chromosomal damage

the kind who want to

    never

grow up

like Peter Pan

are always a challenge

one I do not jump quickly to meet

anymore

but you

Lady Perennially

may do as you wish!

I will not blame you -

like some folks do

for "attracting him to you"

an unequal equation

which interestingly

leaves him out entirely

when he picked you too

but rather I see no

coincidence

in ANY encounter

when these are simply

environments

in which to learn more about

ourselves

in the reflections of

others

and whether

or not

the point of the lesson was

 

learned

is what I ponder as we

move apart

or come together!

NOTHING reveals character

like intimate up close and personal

does

in the bedroom

the boardroom

nation to nation and

the 7 Billion countable inhabitants

of Mother EARTH

that are just trying to get along!

Or Not!!!!

Each one with their own

day-timer

beating a different drum and

the cacophony resounds

with sounds of

WAR

when Peace is an inside job

so I'm saddened to hear

that even a stint in

prison

was no effective

rehabilitation

for one such as Bad Jack Dog!!!

Released

to the streets

after terrorizing

WOMEN

to continue stalking and harassing

ladies like yourself -

so much for our

penal system

built on punishment

and not around HELP

for the sickest ones!

So Lady Perennially Pausing

I should say you could stay on the course

of creation

but I know that you really can't

not

and I'm all for your

liberty

boundaries and

freedom

but

only you know if it

keeps you warm at night

or maybe you care not!

Either way I will say

in all fairness

the same things I said to

Bad Jack -

take your own inventory

seek the lesson in the story

and then

if you wish

you can always

write back  . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Domestic Violet

Dear Vi ~

My girlfriend that I told you

about

( even though you once were my

girl-friend  too )

when I called you 4 months ago

you know

the one who is a menopausal

maniac

so we

broke-up !

She called the other day

to say she wants to try again

with me and I've

moved on

since then

What say you Violet ?

signed -

Billy the Blockhead ~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Wild Bill ~

As I am caught up in

the forward momentum

life never fails to keep me

entertained

Just about the time I

HOPE

I have seen and heard

just about everything

my phone rings

and sometimes it is you

( and you will always call again )

and sometimes it is

someone else with some

incredible tale and

frequently there is a demonstration

yet again of the fantastic

ability some have for

the fit of their own foot

down their neck

and I struggle to decipher the

muffled sound as the foot seems to fit

more comfortably for you

the longer you go on !

As you dig a deeper hole

and gather one more notch

on your bed post

I am counting the times you have needed

to inform me of your

conquests

based on what you ASSUME to be

my level of concern or

care or whatever

but I can barely hear you now

as I have been

moving on !

BLOCKHEAD !!!!!

Don't write to me again !

signed -

Domestic Violet ( no longer there ) ~

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Walk it off - Drama Queen

Dear Domestic Violet ~

You seem to be real touchy

and all this DRAMA from being the wrong Man's wife

Why, I never hit mine more than once or twice

a month - you can ask the boys at the

bar !

an' she never went on about it

like you girls do

You all should all take up knitting instead !

signed ~

Elmer Fudputz ###########

####################

Dearest Dearest Elmer ~

Your insensitivity

does not equal that

somehow I am " too sensitive "

when I react to " lack of sensitivity "

the way a sane person would

It simply means you are brutish

like most humans still are

and it is just another way

we

squelch and stifle in others

the emotional life that is

OUR humanity !

With labels and tags and

categorical pigeon-holing

and SHOULD - ing

all over the place

we " walk off " our broken

legs

insisting others should too

with less and less human - ness

these days

My favorite is when you tell a bully

" please stop- that hurts ! "

more often than not you'll hear

" you shouldn't feel that way or be hurt by that -

what's wrong with you ! " and

" you're  OVER - REACTING - Drama Queen ! "

and the really crass ones will

call you a "pussy" if you don't want to

take shit from them

Life ~

is an on- going drama- filled

never- ending saga so

what are we talking about !

How is that YOUR drama isn't DRAMA

but mine is ?

See how you are ?

And I should feel nothing when your

rudeness that you deny

flings mud in my eye ?

The punishment for mentioning it

never fits the crime of

mentioning it

and who took the first swing anyhow ?

It is generally issued by cowards who

can't take what they dish out

like the CREEP in " DIRTY HARRY "

and they have a place in their minds

called EXCEPTIONS where somehow

they put ' their own stuff ' creatively

artfully dodging reality

Emotional runners

they flee

fast and hard

from the real of emotional feel

and will not permit

others in their midst

to have an emotional life as well

It is reserved for the bully only

whose mission is to ' get '

before being ' gotten '

spreading rotten

all over the place and

somehow quite PROUDLY !!!!

Pardon me for noticing

and for saying so as well

I'm sure you have some DRAMATIC

opinion of

what I have to tell

but don't be so " sensitive "

or are you a pussy too ?

( and it's especially crude when a

woman puts this tag on you )

Perhaps you'd like it better if

DOMESTIC VIOLET and the FLOWER Girls

was about Domesticity like

cleaning the house or

trading recipes

or what the neighbors are up to

instead

you know - that safe and

non-emotional  impersonal stuff

If that's what you're looking for

you found the wrong post

got the wrong girls

crashed the party of the wrong

hostesses ~

There's no need for embellishment

the truth is ugly or lovely enough

Run away if you must

like most of you do

but as you go

if you can

be grateful for every second

that truly horrendous is not

happening to you!!!!!!!!!!!

Count the thousand things

that went right today

and don't be afraid of your

" Power Greater than Yourself " - given

emotions

It is your greatest part

and what separates US

from the Antelope and Aardvark

and THEY show more

heart than we

You don't see them killing for sport

and at last report

they are not responsible for Pollution

and Global Warming

and they are not imprisoned by their society

for beating or killing their mates

destroying

community ~

These are some of the DRAMAS

inherent in this drama of life

that I like to talk about

and the FLOWER Girls do too

Were we being Drama Queens

when being beaten by a man ???

Or was that you . . .

Dear Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

The Vote

Dear Domestic Violet ~

My wife says I'm a

an Alcoholic and she doesn't trust me

and she's done trying ~

She's not a walk in the park either !

What do I do ?

signed -

Danny Bonaduce Wanna-be ~~~~

~~~

Dear DB Wanna-be ~

I realize that

just because I am able to

bare my soul

does not mean everyone else

does or

can

Most are happy to continue

keeping up with the hasty

retreat required by

manipulation and

deceit ~

I honestly came by

honesty in the

straight line way I

know it today

by facing the facts

of the matter

bearing a resemblance

to your collective situation

waving a white flag of surrender

to the truth

So I went for help and support

when I knew I couldn't

do it myself

( it's a pit of quicksand in the end

no matter what your addiction )

She's been addicted to you and your bullshit

chaos and DRAMA

so

even if she leaves you

unless she HEALS UP she will

find another one 

just like you

again and

again ~

The only solution for you will require

an investigation of sorts

a journey into SELF

She is not your PROBLEM and

neither is your bottle or your drugs

so look into YOU

into your own part of the equation

where confession of shortcomings

frees you completely

of some "baggage"

the kind that distorts

what you do and why you do it

and destruction of your alibi system

is a must

left with a "tote"

to work on

on a daily basis

with the  "suitcase"  emptied out

and sifted through

you will begin to THINK clearly

without a drug or drink

and perhaps learn to 'get to know'

and trust yourself

and then others might have a fighting chance

I've done this sorting and filing myself

separating me from you

so I could stop using YOU as my

excuse for  ANYTHING

finding why I continued to

hurt myself by allowing abuse

and using alcohol TOO also yet again

to step out of my pain !

If you go "there"

if you do 'it'

the 'work' you must do

on YOU

you will find a new life

with or without your wife

who is not saying this to

hear the sound of her own voice !

YOU HAVE A CHOICE ~

so does she and whatever she chooses

you have done much to make it so

And believe me when I say

your only other option is

to die an alcoholic death

and I've seen one bleed out

completely

on the street

in front of the door on his way into

the liquor store !

And some are wet-brained in

sanitariums where their

STUPOR

doesn't allow them to know

much of any thing anymore !

( they don't even know they are there )

And I know for sure that you

" cain't scare an Alcoholic y'all "

(see post: Party Blind)

into sobriety

or anything for that matter

Alcoholics and addicts are some of the most

strong - willed individuals on the planet

contrary to popular myth

their mis-directed will is what keeps them

drunk or drugged

so

when you want it more than you want

anything else

in this world

because you can't live with it and

you can't live without it

it will take practice and patience and

fierce determination but

I guarantee your recovery

will reward you with

clarity and peace and a quest for

staying free - whatever that means to you !

Don't wait too long for at some point

it will be decided and you won't

get to vote

when you're gone too far ~

Choose A or Choose B

and get back to me . . .

signed -

Dear Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~ et armis

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

I'm just sayin' . . .

Dear Domestic Violet,

I'm   Disheveled

      Disgruntled

    Discouraged

  Dis-eased

~ " Life is difficult " ~

thanks a lot

M. Scott Peck !

It sucks right

now

and always has

How's that for

attitude ?

Yes, mine is

bullshit

but it's mine and

I'll have it until further

notice

I'm sick of having to

fight to live

and the Dumb Shits

who love to fight

just to

fight

I'm sick of them

too

What do I do ?

Signed

D.D.D.D.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!

Dear Messy Pissy

Chicken-Shit CaCa Face,

Grieve the loss of  your

present state

as you move toward

greater enlightenment

The bus leaves at 12:30 !

ARE YA FUCKIN' CRAZY ?

Yeah - Sarcastica here

And there you go Vi

getting all ZEN

yet still

again !

Why Thank You

Sarcastica Sweet !

but enough from you

please !

The question is not to

' Dear Sweet Sarcastica '

nor is it

' Dear Cyc '

We might arrange for that

later however

Sweet Sarcastica CYCLAMEN

Until then . . .

you're about to

turn a corner

young Jackie Horner D.D.D.D.

As you move

away

from your

anxiety

you'll be blessing

God almighty

for making sure you

did not wake up

in Afghanistan

Yes - you !

If this does not

inspire a drop

of gratitude

then you need much more

than a word

from me

If life still sucks

then   when  have

you lost a

husband or child

or parent or

friend

If and when ~

the sucky Beauty

LIFE

goes on

You are troubled

compared to

what ???????

And you have done what

about it ?????!!!

I ask you to ponder

these things and

~ get back to me ~

one who has

done much

about much

and even so

the dumb shits

criticize ~

so don't go thinking

I don't know

where you're coming

from

Prepare for departure

" Happiness is not

a station you arrive at

it is a manner of

traveling "

I'm just sayin' . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Cyclamen's rebuttal ~ Dear Domestic Violet's Best Friend

ISIS, JESUS, BUDDHA  . . . everyone COME !!!

Vi, you are so ZEN

I want to be like you

when I grow up -

    Yeh  -  Sweet Sarcastica CYCLAMEN  here -

( No, really - I do Vi ! )

but, see -  Fuck that Perplexed from POLAND

has been kicked to the curb

FUCK THAT !!!!!!!!

It goes on the    FUCK THAT !  - list -

and Fuck that  you reek - VIOLET

of common sense

but it doesn't go on the            - list -

sorry

Anyway, the Polish are like

brainy types - perplexing

all by itself

and what I want to know

is why Perplexed can't see that

the so-called friend just lost

someone who gives a shit ?

And so, P.P. might feel bad for

the ex-friend

instead of remaining completely

absorbed in  PERPLEXITY !

FUCK that !

Take your head out  and

consider it the former, so-called

best friend's LOSS

since the " so-called " no longer

gets the company of YOU !

Where is your self-respect  P.P. . . . ?

Fuck THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And FUCK that  your best friend was

a gay Man - VIOLET !

I said " one of them " - Sarcastica

Don't misquote me, please !

And Fuck that  you are so polite

always so polite - Vi !

I so want to be like you ~

Thank you - Cyc !

so are you homophobic or what

is

your

problem ?

Perhaps homophobia

reveals a chain pulled

for a closet homosexual ?

It's a recurring reaction mostly among

male types who are frightened by

their own attraction to other men and

don't know how to " live and let live "

( I really am neutral on this - unless someone

is being harmed by something I have no opinion )

OH FUCK That !

Hey - it's merely a theory,  okay ?

So, would that be  you

Sweet Sarcastica ?

NO, Violet - you know me better

than that !

I'm a girl through and through

I just thought your best friend was ME

didn't hear you quite right ~

Well, no shit Cycla

I have an oldest friend, a dearest friend

and a closest friend

and my gay friend was the best

some years ago

because

he didn't want to . . . " you know --- "

" YOU KNOW ? " -  for P.P.'s SAKE !

oh for fuck sake

FUCK THAT !

It goes on the 

                      Fuck That !       - list -

for SURE !

As usual, you have been

in rare form

Sweet Sarcastica and you're

obviously

not from Switzerland

And what the hell does that mean, Violet ?

It means you are not without opinion

you are so not neutral Cyclamen !

You have the power to

cut to the chase

no delete

no erase

No shit !

And I have become so

much like you as I grow up . . .

Why Thank you Vi !

You're welcome Cyc !

Neutral is ideal - keeps the mind

quiet

so try it

you might like it

OH Fuck THAT !

Oh - you're not interested in quiet, Sarcastica ?

Oh well - one day you may change your mind

Y'all come back now - hear ?

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi  ~~~~~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Dear Domestic Violet's Best Friend

Dear Domestic Violet,

        My best friend hasn't called me back

        since October

                  What do I do?

                           Perplexed in Poland

Dear Perplexed,

          I'm sure you are missing your friend,

but if your last attempt ( you made one - right? )

was met with silence then thank God or whatever for

removal from your life someone

who was not so good for you - perhaps ?

Many things happen of the silver lining in the

dark cloud variety  - but WE are not seeing this

We only want it cuz We can't have it - when children

In fact, the reality of CHANGE as inevitable

is what you may be experiencing

Let it

It is what it is !

Fighting the fact is where the pain lives

Resisting the natural forward momentum

of life is like

         holding a beach ball under water

                         Let it go

When you COMPLETELY ACCEPT REALITY

only then can Providence move

and then you will see miracles - not before

It is my experience

not my opinion

And one of my best friends was a gay Man

who wanted nothing from ME

if you know what I mean

so we had a grand old time !

I say "had" because he passed away

I miss him fiercely

as well as all others who once were

in my company

but they were not meant to stay

each on their own path

or they would be here - now

It really is true that if you

let go of what belongs to you

it will come back

if it is yours

See ?

It's O.K.

Today I want only my own - not

yours or you, if you don't want to be there !

Today if someone doesn't like me

I welcome them to leave me alone

Perplexed -  You obviously pegged your BEST

FRIEND WRONG

Fix your picker - for fuck sake - and

stop groveling at the feet of those

do not 'get you'

be near those who do

Something even more awesome awaits

through another door about to open

Close the one behind you, but do not lock it

and it will become whatever it is supposed to be

and usually even greater than anything  you  could

design

don't touch it

be " at one " with it

let go of it, and out the other side . . .

is what you'll never know

unless you go there

Que Serra, Serra  ~

what will be

will be

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~~~~~

Survivor . . . from the Vortex

                                                                

Dear Domestic Violet Insights

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving !

Hey Readers !!!

Hail Turkey Hunters !!!

Ho Ho Ho is on it's way !!!

Hope you have a wonderful day - every day !!!

Heaven's just a smile away !!!

Here and now - the only way, they say !!!

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""          

 

Dear Domestic Violet:

My girlfriend finds my porn and wants to break up with me !!!!

What should I do ????

signed,

Grab Ass Crab Grass

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear G.A.C.G. ~

Rewind to the reason for the porn, the truth in your attraction.

Of course, your woman wants nothing to do with you; it is the women you are exploiting while objectifying - what is that saying about your view of her?  More importantly, it speaks voulmes about you. Grow Up - deal with your " stuff " and don't send any more bad KARMA to yourself by expecting the Next Girlfriend to co-sign this shit.

Really,

Domestic Violet

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Miss Morning Glory Flower is among the youngest in the bouquet. Her place in the arrangement, one of the most recent. Morning Glory stories make my day, some days. She mentioned in our chats that she felt men would not abuse women if only we women wouldn't "ALLOW" it.  At a later date, on another subject, it was serendipitous that I should compare the difficulties she described with a significant other as "WHY WOMEN STAY."

Morning Glory expressed that 70% of the time she and her "other" had great times, but 30% was hell. 

That is why women stay. !!!!!  - Violet replied.

As if a veil had been ripped from her Glory eyes, she looked at me open-faced and wide-eyed. " Oh my, it is the same thing, isn't it? " - she apologized profusely for implying that women stayed for only God knows what reason, but one she could not wrap her mind around until we had this little chat. The 70 %, and the kids and the finances and our families and our neighbors and our friends and our pride and our insecurity and our hopes and our dreams. And a million other reasons, the most important being FEAR. It paralyzes most people, quite a depressant. "

DEPRESSED PEOPLE CANNOT TAKE ACTION

DEPRESSED PEOPLE CANNOT TAKE ACTION

again,

DEPRESSED PEOPLE CANNOT TAKE ACTION 

I became paralyzed by FEAR and could not leave, until I could - Vi

There are many ways to abuse without ever touching someone - as WE discover slowly as we grow how abusive pronography is, and how abusive our own families can be. She need not ever experience a physical beating to join the FLOWER GIRLS in the vase. "

WHERE CREEPS CREEP: 

A coffee shop half a mile away hires young women to work alone without telling them the business comes with built-in threat from the homeless hobo's living in a refrigerator box behind the parking lot in the rear - one that borders railroad tracks. Yes, they are human beings. No, women should not put themselves naively at risk.

Gardenia ( introduced in OFF DUTY, DUTY ) was found dead in the basement of a quaint little shop. A cash drawer was missing. Her life for a small pile of money, or so it appeared.

Be safe this Holiday

Have Fun  -  Tell the WORLD - Stevie Nicks

Semper Vi  *&%^$#@

Domestic VIOLET

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX