Domestic Violet

You, yew, u...

. . . your internal dialogue

from the bookshelves

called mind

have referenced past

with no room for

divine...

from Ego-central

bookish patrol

your data

revolves

resolves to

never let go

and not a new word

gets in

while the Power

waits

within

and may feed you

one page

at a

time...

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX
past
projecting sameness
forward
leaving no room for
divine...
From ego-central
bookish patrol
your data revolves
resolves to
never let go
and not a new word
gets in...
while The Power
waits
within...
and may feed you
one page
at a
time... have referenced
past
projecting sameness
forward
leaving no room for
divine...
From ego-central
bookish patrol
your data revolves
resolves to
never let go
and not a new word
gets in...
while The Power
waits
within...
and may feed you
one page
at a
time...

It's time for...

 

... fiction!

After working out the kinks

for years

in reality

in real time perspective of past present

future possibilities

lead me

here

where I want to get down and dirty

finally

talk dirty and

make you pay

once I get you

all fired up

hot and

sweating

hanging on my next ahhh

ooh and oh

it feels so

good

just thinking about the

liberation

stripped naked and breathing

hard

how am I doing so far?

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

A Spiritual Experience . . .

 

said the 20 years sober speaker

sober via Alcoholics Anonymous

like millions of others and

. . . ”a spiritual experience is anything that happens

in your life         both good and bad

that renders you never the same again

 coming out the other side

changes you forever”. . .

as he mentions his first encounter with alcohol

as being a “love at first sight” kind of episode

with no going back and illustrates the inability

to leave it alone or learn from falling and failing at

every attempt to do NORMAL life

drink in hand

and I reminisce about the many things which

left me forever altered

like Domestic Violence in my home

from      the moment I was born

and Rape(s) at a later date

and the repetition of violence and abuse

with alcohol involved of course

but even more startling were the occasions of mayhem when

alcohol was gone

but this is not to say there were not glorious occurrences of

Beauty and Light of the typically SPIRITUAL type

it is just that I  have never heard Spiritual Experience

expressed in this way

and it opened my eyes

further expanded my mind

to include the rather sordid and painful life-changing episodes

as being no less

divine

and I am grateful this night for the full hour

to hear his story in its entirety

though I’ve known him for all of his sober years

there is still so much we can never know about

another human being

unless we take the time

to listen

to the struggle

the near-death calamity

and the overcoming of the difficulty

find the gift in it

and pass it on . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Where does everybody...

... go?

 

I walk through the room

as if I were there

yet again still

and find my seat

safe against the wind

same songs stream from the jukebox

from another time

as my reflection mirrors the mirror

of            faces down the line

pool balls clunk and click

cues in hands wrapped around beers

between shots

light playing tricks on the shadows

neon windows rattle as

patrons and players roll in

the usual suspects mostly

crowding up the place

with smoke and good cheer

thank God Friday or 5 o’clock is

here

where I never knew I would depart

not imagining the ghosts of most

alive and well then

would roam the room later

as if I never left

only to discover over half of us

perished since

but

not me       yet

and when I do

I will roam the room too

where there was love

for a little while

safety in a

smile

where familiarity bred

contempt

and countered it

again

all forgiven by the next

weekend

and perhaps you will recall

we traded stories and cigarettes

drinks and drama details

danced ‘til we dropped

and got up again

never dreaming it would

end …. .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

Old girls . . .

. . . are

like hand grenades

pins

safely tucked in -

girls who trusted most

judge least

at the last

rocky road rashed

      projection spelled out

if you think I am a liar

what twisted tale

has left

your lips        ?

not yet bled enough

still plump

creaseless

careless reckless

feckless

youth

when you are an old girl

there is no fear

in candid utterance

yet much can be said for

silence discretion

deference

wisdom to know the

difference

which you

in your haste

will waste

until

it is clear

in the middle of your mindless

chatter

what you hold dear cannot be

held in your hands

but is found in the

heart

of all matters . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

What can be seen . . .

 

 . . . from the hallway 

looks clean 

when you’re ten 

and your Mom says

“your room is a mess straighten up please!”

It depends on the kid

however

and some will try to

make it neat as a pin

and some will take a

nap

instead

but what child is thinking

along environmental lines

when sixth grade is too far off

and there’s hockey

and neighborhood friends to

distract

and movies and swimming

and lunch

and last week’s new toys are part of

“the mess”

on the bedroom floor

carpeted with

clothes

clean and dirty and

god knows what else!!!

I’ve known a kid or two

but never known one to

willingly

spit shine their stuff

and environs

not without poking and prodding

and some are just

NOT GOING TO DO IT

no matter how many trash bags are

filled up by

frustrated mothers

through all phases of

development

who close the door as they pass by

until it’s after graduation

K-12 behind and off to College

where “the room”

is vacated

transplanted to dormitory life

and one Mom was heard to say

after all the clean it up battle and strife

finally

. . . "about the room –

never mind". . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

Raging at . . .

  

 . . . aging

longer

  teeth

ears

nose

even my hair has

grown -

shorter days

stature shrinking

less memory for

where I put the keys

and what was in my

dreams -

I woke up

in a funk

unlike most mornings –

should have felt

the storm coming

with my

e.s.p.

instead I roamed

the streets

in search of

coffee

chocolate

to comfort me

parked at the giant lake

in the middle of

town

just in time for

rain

to clutter my view

thinking of you

and all who still have

youth

of the young kind

those who have not yet

fallen

and can’t get up –

cherish your

strut

while you have it !

The gulls fly

from the nest

against the wind

with practice

and perseverance

as the rain

obscures my Montanas

 the whitecaps pound

the rocks

clay at my feet

and I

pray

for Jesus Buddha Isis

to come

lift me  up

for all the POWER of the Universe

by all the names we say

to light the darkest

hour

as the clouds

blanket the Rocky Mountains

disappearing

               as if they never were ......

..... this too will be my fate one day

leaving

behind

four fine lives

their babies and

countless

chosen

words

but

“not anytime soon”

each day I tell death

              for I have much to do

and so much still to

say . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~ 

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX 

To drown out the sound . . .

... of a lying

man

I turned up the music

real loud

and drank

liquor

did drugs

and went to

work

anyway

etc.

to get away

from each word

stretched out of shape

while he looked right in my eyes

one of which he blackened

with his fist

in his Man-child rage

right after he caved in my ribs

as each lie

that left his lips

made a mark much worse than any

hit

and I had no choice eventually

but to leave him

stop trying to

believe him

stop drinking and

even later prayed for the poor little fucker

found a way to forgive him

to save

myself

but still I reach for the

volume

and crank up the music

pick up batons to

twirl

with both hands now

and get lost in the momentum

to mood alter

and drink water

feed the fish

and try not to think about

his kiss . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

Is it January . . .

. . . yet ?

I've been heard to

lament

most every December -

for most Decembers that I can

remember -

cuz when you're born on

New Year's Eve

December is a month you would rather

forget and

wish the whole month would be cancelled due to

lack of interest

but no

so sometimes the merry making celebration

commenced at the first of the month and ran

right through Christmas with lots of

Rum

so then you become Rum Dum

"coming to"

somewhere in early January with   

a new New Year's Eve story

for the annals of history

and the mystery is recalling it

at all

when the last thing you knew it was Thanksgiving

and the HOLIDAYS began

like a down-hill rolling ball

and you think if you never hear

Auld Lang Syne

that you have made it through

the HOLIDAYS

just fine

until next time

as each year is different somehow

and 15 altogether have been Rum-less

since you were 18 years young

and the last several have not had a not nice Guy trying to ruin it all

and sometimes it is just another day

and you get to the other side relatively unscathed

unphased

or you could rephrase it -

cOmPARED to some family video  that captured some

PHASED episode on tape -

running long after the damage was done

but you know now a large favor was done when

you watched them turn tail and run

but you have no admiration for   

a few things

like New Year's Eve

and the traditional capitalist Christmas   with its

Godless-ness

and cowardice also belongs on the list

but it goes with the territory when you come into to the world

a bit before midnight

on the last day of the year

and the whole world parties down

and it has nothing to do with

you

but

this year unlike all others

you put up a 6 foot tree and trimmed it -

lights on the front and back porches -

and a tiny tree in the kitchen with tiny ornaments

and on the patio potting bench an even smaller tree -

the fiber-optics kind - 1 foot high

under a bubble with fake snow

and a miniature train running around inside

and it makes you smile

cuz there's nothing left but to be happy

when you are close to kissing 55 good-bye

and a really nice man lives down the street

and your children will be gathered 'round you soon and

some grandchildren too

and there is beautiful stained glass in the back room

and a good friend luvs you

so for the first time

you want December to never end

as good things come to those who

wait

and pray and labor

and keep the courage of your convictions

and look out for your neighbor

paying forward all the kindness you received in your day

and you can gratefully count your blessings

and honestly say it is good to be soon another year older

and wiser than time

and better like fine wine

so to all near and far

Merry Christmas and HAPPY NEW YEAR  . . .

hope you have a really good time !!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

Anyone under a hundred . . .

is still just a kid

and I have this on good

authority

and will grow up

in the final sense

at the appropriate time

but until then

I know this much

and what I know

"Wouldn't fill a thimble" 

according to my Grama

when I was just a kid !

IT IS EASIER TO NOT LEARN

requiring less mind-taxing thinking and

effort

but

the price for the

individual

or society as a whole

is stagnation

and then there's the

stench

but the air clears

after the uncomfortable

queasy feeling of

TRUTH

being challenged

when someone presents to you

an idea 

opposing what is  easiest 

to believe

as you always have and always will

until         something happens

and you open/change your mind

but

   you naturally want to

silence

them or him or her

or me

and you're so sure

cuz you've grown up to never question that

MiLK is good for you for example

and then someone like me comes along

and says   but it's for little cows

and your tummy ties up into knots

and you want to

knock me out

to shut me up

cuz now you're gonna have to THINK ABOUT IT

and maybe even LOOK IT UP!

And haven't we ALL been led to think  (by whom and why?)

as if thought were stone-etched somehow

that ingesting Cow's milk  (full of hormones and steroids and cow pus & stuff)

is GOOD FOR US ALL

right?

NOT!!!!!  (see: notmilk.com)

Look up CALCIUM (you probably have too much parked in the wrong places)

mobilized by MAGNESIUM  (you don't have enough if you're a U.S. citizen)

and enabled by IODINE  (removed and replaced by deadly flouride

in our water supply long ago)

so you're probably low or completely depleted

therefore SYNTHROID for everyone eventually!)

Yeah way to go AMERICA!!!

Then research some more and see what happens to

homogenized and

pasteurized

BOVINE fats and proteins and the added synthetic Vitamin D

and let me know if

you still

want to spank my young ass . . .

Domestic Violet

p.s. If you feed a baby cow the milk from the grocery store

it will die within 90 days!!!

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

It only hurts . . .

when I laugh -

and I walk away

laughing

frequently

at the reactions and

responses to

me -

and where I'm coming

from -

a place these days of

sincerity

with no need to feign

affection

or give undue attention to

" casting pearls before swine " -

( located in the Bible which is just one

of the HUNDRED-THOUSAND books I've read ) -

not wasting my time

or going or staying where I'm not

appreciated -

coming from hard-earned

experience and interested in

integrity as an ongoing discipline

yet

some folks talk to me

like I'm a

sixth grader

or a 15 year-old

shoplifter -

like I'm stupid

disingenuous

dishonest or

still

in the grasp of

Black Velvet

or still

getting beat up by a male drunk

who   " LOVES ME "  so much 

which of course in their pin head pea brains is

MY own fault

and establishing who is at fault

is as far as most pea/pin folks get

after becoming judge jury and executioner -

that's the end of the story -

and I walk away laughing

when

nothing could be further from

the truth

and as I stay close to truth

and nothing but

I hear in response to telling it

things like -

" I find that  hard to believe "

said a 56 year-old MALE  HORNDOG -

( one who still  " does"  22 year-olds but is attempting to extricate

SEX

from me - tee hee ) -

when I told him I haven't had ANY

in a very long time

and then really he really called me a LIAR

when I told him that REALLY I haven't

                        !

yet he persisted in his delusional

disbelief

and could not stand it when I said

" I'm not too interested either and

I don't feel

deprived " -

and after being COMPLETELY INSULTED

by those who can't grasp

what CHANGE is required

to recover from

Domestic Violence -

you know

the ones who say    " people don't change "

are

the ones who stay

the

same -

and after the skeptical court

adjourns -

after firming up their narrow minds -

I walk away laughing

but it

hurts

every time

and Oh Well and

Machs Nix and

Que Lastima pobrecita

especially when

on another other day

a real MAN  asked me if I had a boyfriend

yet -

catching up on current events 

and asked if I would be interested in

meeting one of his friends -

" Not this week " - I replied

" Domestic Violet

you have had enough

disappointment

in life

already " - he said

" YES and this is why I am not 

interested in intimacy 

at this time " - I replied

and he understood and nodded his head and

smiled

and said good-bye

after helping me with some chores

requiring Male physical strength 

and then went home to

his nice wife who loaned him to me

to help out

because neither of them are as petty and small

as to believe that single Women are ALL

attempting to "DO" other Women's men/husbands/significant others

and both of them know it is not what

Domestic Violet is up to

and we're

FRIENDS because -

and as he left my front door

I walked away

smiling

instead of

laughing

for a change . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

Tolerance of . . .

anything and

everything -

all manner of

crap -

is not a sign of

health -

physically or

mentally !!!

Tolerance is not

a sign of strength

yet

often we are encouraged to believe

from sick slovenly martyr-ish type needs

that we are being bigger better people

by putting up with shitty treatment from

others

when this is just a ruse

that manipulators

use

to

excuse

their bad behavior !

And although it is a good idea to

flex and roll

and perhaps even pray

when injustice comes our way

I believe it is our right and

responsibility

to say -

to state the case clearly when

unacceptable

is in our face -

such as the state of the Nation -

Health care and wages -

a few hundred governing humans

in charge of millions of

US

and

it may only take a couple thousand

and a couple of trucks

and part of a day to

rearrange the

Washington D.C.

farcity -

whaddya say ?

On a more local personal note

"NEVER" is a long long time

but as those with malice aforethought

have wandered off the radar

I can't help but enjoy the sound

of a peaceful Thursday morning

without

some of the usual bullshit

that echoes from afar -

while in the physical sense

the cleaner your blood is

the less it will

tolerate

poisons

so similarly the spiritual/emotional

aspects

once refined and cleaned up

with a different paradigm boundary in place

leaves little room for ill-mannered

ridiculousness

and as I have said before and before

no one has

any respect for anyone they can

push around . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Recovery rooms . . .

are life laboratories -

no matter what 

takes you to

excess -

or near a ruinous death -

no matter why you find yourself there

in places like Alcoholics Anonymous

or N.A. or M.A. or G.A.  -

whatever the  " _.A. "

or spiritual program that restores your sanity and your

life

coming from wherever the

bottom

is/was  

in your heart and soul and

mind -

when everything is wrong enough for

you to seek long enough

the authentic POWER of the UNIVERSE to make it

right -

where ALL types and styles

and makes and models

and sizes and shapes of

people

can be found -

and it's the best playing field

leveler

around -

and it's how I know for sure

not one of us

is more valuable than any other one of

US -

as WE trudge the road

of happy destiny -

those of us who were fortunate enough to

show up there -

where plumbers and doctors

grandmothers and lawyers

bikers and nerds and Domestic Violet -

people who would normally not mix

get together with a common PROBLEM

and a common SOLUTION

and are self-supporting - declining outside contributions -

with literature found in print in hundreds of languages

all over the world -

SUPPORT

being the operative word !

No where else on earth have I found 

more evidence of

Goddess/God's love

than in the healing rooms

that brought me this far

and one time an air traffic controller -

now 15 years sober -

told of having been

drunk on the job !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But WE did not

beat him up !

WE are not there in judgment

for who can cast the first stone ??????????????

And he had already done a fine enough job of

self-punishment

but

then turned and changed  and

NEVER DID IT AGAIN

VOILA

( so much for the " people don't change " propaganda !!! )

and then he told us the facts of the matter -

pre- and post -

in the same HONEST and matter-of-fact manner

as do most who get rid of

their ghosts -

he demonstrated HOW IT WORKS

so WE may become even HONESTER ( teehee)

with ourselves first and then others

and know WE are not

alone -

I believe God/Goddess created us ALL

first for purposes of

the enlightenment and advancement of the

" suited "  spirit

and for G/G's possible

amusement

and then

gave us each other to

keep the laughter ( medicine )

going  . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

 

I cared so much . . .

what you thought

of me -

and I remember

seeking your

approval

like a junkie

seeks

a needle

and gets a missed exploding vein

mess -

instead of the

HIT  of the high -

and I realized

slowly -

you cannot be happy

and it's not about me -

and I began to not

                            give a shit !

My reward for

trying

was constant

failure

and I went

WILD

with

frustration -

becoming your

low opinion of me -

until I changed my

mind

about you -

when I was struck

by the ignorance and

heartlessness of

the people of the lie

and now I don't give a

fuck ...

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

My best . . .

was all she wanted -

from me and

for me -

and she knew when I was slackin'

like I know my own children

and their ways

and I seek to find their best -

and she wasn't settling for

less

also . . . . . . . . .

aaaooooooooeeeeeeuw - 

unhuh !  -

"  oh  " . . . !!!

Domestic Violet 2009

concluding at this point -

synopsis

of core work done -

brought to the

bottom

line

this time . . .

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

The work of healing . . .

happens

often at times least expected 

the WORK I've been writing about for years in this

medium

the work we resist

believing the pain of witholding to be less

than the discomfort of coming out the unknown

other side

of the emotional/spiritual WORK . . .

She mentions the 1950's and I remind her

I was a awake aware alive

as a 50's child

(she gave life to me)

and we agree it was a different world then as we

talk of the state of the nation and family and

decisions affecting the

young -

and each long distance conversation

has proved a gift

to me

recently and

this time she mentions

the VIOLENCE

we both knew when my father was around

when I was just a mellow child

in AWE of all of this

life

and I knew something was

wrong with what I saw in his

eyes

and so today in the quiet of my house 

with neighbors gone and

the work-a-day world all tucked away at their

work-a-day jobs

a primal rip spewed forth

that I mentioned in post: I WOKE UP

as being stifled on a dime so as not to disturb the peace

of those upstairs

and today it roared forth and

no one is home in the neighborhood thank God     I'm thinkin'

letting it sink in . . .

the tumor was there since birth

said a doctor of the brain cancer that took down the madman in '91

and with it came finesse artistic talent

surreal athletic prowess

charming the birds right out of the trees and

rage

extraordinaire

beyond the normal guy is pissed and throwing a big baby fit

way beyond and way bigger than that

like nothing she had ever seen in her life

where like all families hers had problems too but

this kind of rage and anger were new to her in 1953 she said

and acknowledged what that might have done to one

with a naturally mellow temperament

and

later after we hung up I almost threw up

at the realized at a deepest level realization that he couldn't help

what was wrong with him

and I knew it as little girl Violet

as terror rained around me

and I saw what it did to her and I know what it did to me

when I woke up later in life with a cheap imitation

of a wanna-be bad guy staring with fake remorse

at the shiner he put on my eye

but today I finally cry for the the way it could have been

and all that could not be helped

hot steaming healing tears for the way it was

and how much I loved them

anyway

and who we really are and

what was really going on

and out the other side

in the silence

there is peace . . .

followed by the click of a 2nd floor door

and the tiptoe of shoes

down the stairs with careful gentle closing of the back entry screen

meaning

someone was upstairs the whole time - oh great

and now is moving about extremely quietly perhaps out of respect since

I wailed at top volume

as if someone had

died        (OH Jeez)

as the truth settled out of the riddle

and it was a death

of the emotionally healing WORK  kind

with birth right behind 

new levels of compassion clarity and forgiveness

at the very same time

but who wants more of that in the world

no - let's just all stay scared and sick

stuck and ignorant and

mad . . . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

(Revelation) I'm the only one . . .

who ever had to change

solitary

solo

singularly

the only one who was

so flawed -

all the rest have been so sure

of their correctness

and insisted upon

laying punishment on

my every move

and I'm the one who had to change

for sure!

So when I did

change that is

every thing        in my life   (no small task and not for sissies)

I began to view

you

differently

and all the rest

too

and in this

transformation

I learned that

everything required for

life and the abundance of life

is present

in the possible perfection of the

moment

the here and

now!

Wow!!!!!

While all ya'll pointed

high mighty

fingers

some doubled up in a

fist

with hide- n -seek hardwired out/in your mind

as bogus falls from your lips

and still the same after all

too many of you to

list

hundreds by now

arrogantly certain

that it was me who had to be

different

not them

not you

and ya'll didn't

too

change at all

not when you  lacked  my

human

flaws

or so you thought

and not when

I was the only one

at fault

the only who had to change

the only one who did

and the only one

saying so

now

WOW! . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

A mellow child . . .

she said

and I nodded my head

. . . "you were such a

mellow little girl"

and then she paused

before continuing with  . . .  "and the world

rattled you" . . .

and I knew this as well

(of course it had nothing to do you

or you or

you)

as I revisited momentarily what the rattling

led to  (see ALL 400+ posts)

but I remember then

being quite

ZEN

at age ten in elementary school

and not understanding when almost nothing

was made into much dramatic ado

and people were frequently

angry

and I was sure the world would not end

if the dishes weren't done

immediately

after supper

as I watched those around me

react with rage and fear

resulting in

mild hysteria

with some not exhaling

to this day

and now like then

I don't know what to say!

As my natural state of  "mellow"

was dented and initially manifested

with trouble forming words

and stuttering occurred

I learned the value of observation and

silence

and who could get a word in sideways

anyway

with chatty children and adults

and control freaks and

mild??? hysteria

all around me

so the ten year-old zen little Violet

began writing on paper with pencil or

pen

about it

and had yet to

experience the  "rattling"

yet to come

from a world without

pity

without mercy for some

an hysterical world

from where I'm coming from

one that won't allow for deliberation and

pause

but requires sprinting before we can crawl

with insane people running around

poking

rattlesnakes

with really big sticks

expecting no equal or opposite reaction

a ridiculous world still ruled by the

reptilian mind

that must gets its environmental information

from outside

cold-blooded and sightless

heartless

unending

waves like monsoon rolled and tumbled me

then zen at ten

and produced a Wild child 

hanging on by a zen

thread

to shreds of self-respect and dignity

beaten out of me

by junior high

and the stuttering

stopped

replaced by talking

a lot

to many with merciless ears

non-mellow folks

running on

fear

the most dangerous kind

who justify in their minds

all manner of atrocity

and have no health or boundaries

and after all I have witnessed

volunteered for and been victim to

I returned to myself in the end

and I know what THE WORLD is

and what it is not

and now it is not the one I grew up in

nor the illusion found in bottles and bars

the world is not so rattling these days

even as it's falling apart

and no matter the sway

in the end we can say

essentially nothing much changes

as we try to

with everything in us

be everything we are not naturally

wearing all kinds of costumes while changing our hats

but apples fall close to the trees

and even the worst of experience

and even the worst of the crowd

cannot change the essence

of anyone

anyway

unless you allow yourself to become what you

hate

instead of what you are

and mellow

I am . . .

(not to be confused with apathetic indifferent irresponsible

ignorant uncaring and arrogant!)

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX ( THE REAL WORLD )

 

 

On the first day of

Spring

the Rose

will be wed -

I heard through

the FLOWER Girls

grapevine -

and though it won't be

the first time for her -

she's 64 so maybe it will be

the last time instead !

She met a Man through mutual

acquaintance -

to live out the rest of her days with !

And we hope that all of her dreams and wishes

come to fruition with sweetness and light in her

ROSY loving tradition . . .

she's a  Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Semper Vi ~

Domestic Violet and the FLOWER Girls

 

To know and . . .

be known

is the deepest relational

desire

we all have -

but

to remain unknown

by those who cannot

will not

release their mental grasp

of the erroneous

conclusions -

concluded by their bad mental math -

is the deepest painful

chasm -

where you know ultimately

you were born and

live

and will die

alone -

a solitary journey

yet

it would be nice with the

last exhalation

if SOMEONE

had an accurate compilation

of where you were

coming from -

of the whole of what your life

was

and who you really were -

not just who they needed you to be -

selfishly and egoistically they

smooshed you into a slot

whether you fit or not -

sure that you preferred this or that

but never asked you what you thought -

positive your motivations were less than their

deluded noble promptings -

although -

"  . . . how well do we ever really know anyone ? " -

my Mother asked rhetorically recently

and I paused to ponder this realistically

and consider it one of the better gifts she has given me

and now it is more palatable

to remain a

mystery . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

I feel guilty . . .

for taking

time

to bask in the warm

sunshine -

to naturally manufacture

Vitamin D

which will help me

heal me !

But why all the guilt -

you may be wondering -

after all isn't the sunshine

free

and don't we all need some ?

Yes we do

unless you are a

Mom -

and no matter how grown and tall

and gone

the children may be -

I will always be

one !

I came from

darker ages than my

Daughter -

when a Mother

it was believed

had no

needs

and shame on her for

dreaming of a career or

pursuing her ART

when she belonged at home

with many mouths to feed

and giving birth to more was

what she was put here for -

in the same old worn out

maternity clothes

and it was hard to ask for an

hour alone

much less get a

shower

when babies at all stages

were sure to wake from their naps

as hot water

relaxed stressed-out shoulders

and combing clean hair

before getting into some clean

hand me-ups or downs

was just enough time -

12 minutes or so -

for a terrible two year-old

" I not sleepy Momma !!! "

to be covered in flour or dish-soap or whatever

not sleepy

had gotten into

outside the bathroom door

and the typical Mother

feels guilty for

just trying to get clean !

And decades later it became

alright and

even recommended for Mothers to

get out of the house once in a while

but

not before

extreme GUILT was ingrained to the core

for LIVING - ( pardon me ! )

It was ingrained long before

I gave life to my children -

GUILT amplified by -

staying at home with multiple children and taking shit from

THE WORKING MOMS especially and

THE EX MOTHER-IN-LAW and

THE EX HUSBAND/HUSBANDS

( interestingly not paying any/enough support for their children !)

and anyone else with an opinion looking on !

GUILT for -

getting a job -

not getting a job -

not keeping the job when the kids all got sick

simultaneously making sure I would stay at home -

staying married to an abuser -

not staying married to the abuser ( for the children's sake ??? ) -

getting a divorce -

not getting a divorce sooner -

getting a boyfriend after the divorce -

not keeping the boyfriend after the kids got to know him -

getting into college -

not getting into college earlier -

getting married again -

not staying married again -

getting beat up again -

not stopping getting beat up again -

trying again to go to school -

not getting my education BEFORE I had children -

GUILT for -

being a party animal -

not stopping the on-going party sooner when I finally got sober -

drinking again after several years clean -

sobering up again but

of course you guessed it -

not soon enough !!!!!!!

TIMING is everything and mine was always OFF. . . 2,3,4. . .!!!

OR SO I THOUGHT !!!!!!!

And then I got to begin recovering from alcohol use

and a lifetime of DOMESTIC ABUSE

and discovered that forgiveness EXISTS

and the UNIVERSE is unfolding AS IT SHOULD BE all along

and overwhelming GUILT is just a

ruse ( There is a SOLUTION for this !!! )

And now the highly acute conscience has been

returned to its intended size

and can appropriately gauge if I have gone

awry

but despite new-found freedoms and

being gifted with FAITH PEACE and HOPE

I can still feel threads of a ghost

of the remnants of

guilt

when I bask in the sunshine

on my back porch . . .

Domestic Violet

( But mostly I still feel guilty for not getting

a really good lawyer !!! )

Semper Vi ~

SURVIVOR . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

As a child . . .

born into

chaos -

a product of

Domestic Violence -

I know how it all goes -

first you're damaged

but you are the last to know and

then you're fearful -

but unaware of this too -

then you have no clue what to do

with all residual effects while in a world

where you're expected to remain

cheerful

productive

NORMAL

in spite of anything that you've been through -

so you tell yourself

there is nothing wrong with you -

and I recall

blaming

my mother for it all -

to help end the confusion regarding

why EVERYTHING was wrong

and it is so easy

when mothers take the heat for ALL -

and if you are a MOM someday you will feel the flames too !!!

It is UNIVERSAL - we all do !!!

She was a victim too - my mother was for sure

but I was sure as a child that she could have

done something long before she did - and loved me BETTER

and like all children I erroneously saw her as

omnipotent -

all POWERFUL -

and I know today this wasn't true !

I know it is difficult for all offspring

to have a realistic view -

to see their parents as just

people

who are just human too -

especially if they lived in

the chaos -

passed down as it usually is from

generation to generation -

they don't know the difference -

having nothing to compare it to until some other child

seems to have a different kind of life -

is given EVERYTHING and maybe their parents don't fight

or they stayed together - whatever the case

eventually the DIFFERENCE is staring you in the face -

and then you wonder why all this wonderful life

did not happen for poor you !

I know it is easy to be resentful and some children become

downright retaliatory -

feeling justified in every back-handed hurtful thing they do -

because after all they were victims you know !

I know the all-encompassing self-pity

one can fall into - a bitter morass at best

and the damage it can do -

as I've have spent many years trying to

undo -

years seeking answers to the riddle of it all -

a long time looking for the truth

and a long time resisting it all !

It is what we ALL do as human beings !

Not one of us wants to see our own flaws

and when we finally face the music

there is no one else to blame

after all -

no one else responsible for your attitude -

no one MAKING you do anything -

your excuse for everything is plausible

when your reaction isn't up to you -

when it's all because of what was

done to poor you

and what you did not GET -

especially if you are plagued with being

materialistic

and I guarantee it will take to you

the gates of insanity or death !

My journey took me to sordid places

with unsavory characters in an effort to

ESCAPE -

in an effort to assuage the PAIN -

to not completely BREAK -

I drank alcohol and spent time in places

and in relationships with men where I DID NOT belong !

I did not know how to

sort and file the facts real well -

insisting they were cute little frogs instead of

the sick scorpions some of them have been -

simply trying to live and love and be loved

like another mother said -

and all the while trying to prove to ME

that the family disease was not present -

that I was somehow

different !

Thank God for the horrible bottom I hit

that set me on a new path

and gave me a spiritual tool-kit

with which to deal with all of this -

and today I face the facts as they are

doing nothing for any wrong reasons -

with no need to embellish upon truth in the telling -

and no pain is so great that needs mood-altering quelling -

and no matter what YOUR problem may be

I ask the same questions that were asked of me -

"  . . . after all of your reasons and rationale are exhausted

for why someone else it at fault for all of it - and yes even if

your mother was wrong and your husband and father abused you

you must decide what you will do about it now -

YOU hold the key! " - as I I was loved back to life by those older and

wiser and long on the path before me !!!

And they went on to advise -

" You must decide how long you want to HURT

and you get to CHOOSE by the clock or the calender

and you must learn to ask for assistance and

take the risk that you'll be given a hand up or

get kicked in the teeth and then pray for the kicker

and those blinded by ignorance -

those not so well or experienced

and say what you mean

after pausing and praying -

inspecting and keeping your own nose clean -

and after you have done what you can to make right -

admitting your former mistakes -

amending your unthinking behavior -

you have done all you can and you

crawl before no man

and the outcome is in the hands of

your Saviour -

whatever your conception presently !

It will take everything you've got - not for sissies for sure

and this PROCESS is no overnight matter -

for you must willingly "do the work" with the help of

your sponsor who has "been there"

and like an onion

you will heal slowly in layers -

purge yourself honestly and remember it is not possible

to take your intellect into the realm of the Spirit -

there is no way to circumvent what is required !!!

You can follow this outline to the "T" and be free - or die

so what is your CHOICE to be ? " . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Domestic Violet - Happy 7 years sober and

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE free

to me !

Semper V i ~

SURVIVOR . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

A thousand mouse clicks . . .

have been required

for me to be alive today -

a conservative estimate

as I did not count them along the way !

When finally falling deathly ill -

( and the body has a way of getting our attention ) -

I had no choice but to

LOOK IT UP -

far beyond medicinenet and symptom checker !

And what I found was

common ground -

I suffer not alone !

Countless others are similarly afflicted

from our Standard American Diet ( it is S.A.D. indeed !)

and the results of BIG PHARMA greed

and possibly from biological weaponry lurking in the weeds !

Morgellons is an enlightening read !

The Chemtrails for starters are leaving their mark

along with our messed up soil conditions -

so it is difficult now to find fresh fruits and vegetables

not laced with DDT's and too much phony nitrogen -

The cows pigs and chickens as we have all heard

are grown in unnatural circumstances - ( but it doesn't stop us from

eating them ?????????????? )

living in stalls and fed steroids and growth hormones

and whatever they consume

makes its way to your organs rendering them unable eventually

to function properly !

   It's common sense really to DO IT DIFFERENTLY !!!!!!!?????? !

And those among us who made the Doctors GODS

are now reaping the rewards of too much chemical intrusion

and most of us are stupid enough and will to the DOCTOR

return ! ( and yes some of them are well-intentioned and

even have been effective in their treatments -

depending on who you are and what is wrong !)

When a baby isn't blessed with its own mothers milk -for example

a condition called CANDIDA may result and plague the child for

life - ( with ashtma and allergies and cravings for sugar

including ALCOHOLand countless other maladies )

and coupled with ANTIBIOTICS a hundred times too many

for the physical symptoms that naturally will arise

the condition accelerates invading the entire system

and if you go to the DOCTOR for this they will give you

more ANTIBIOTICS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Now who in their right mind is gonna do this ?????????

Not me - I decided and looked for an " alternative "

( which turned out to be THE WAY things were done for centuries ! )

and was quite surprised to find many other folks with

similar problems !

Some of them assured me I could recover alright -

but it will take patience and determination and

a LONG TIME and it will be a FIGHT !

That which has invaded the whole of one's anatomy

and is all warm and cozy and comfortable

is not leaving easily

or quickly and

definitely not overnight !

So with what was left of failing energy

brain fog and many other horrific debilitating symptoms

I set out to find the answers despite no money

no resources and severe lack of understanding

surrounding me

on the part of those who are healthy today

and believe the typical AMERICAN way -

that it's only right to abdicate responsibility

and hand yourself over to the nearest A.M.A. facility

so they can decrease your chances of survival some more

with yet another round of heavy chemicals -

and drive their Mercedes while you're on the floor !

And as I slowly recover with help from the blessed herbs

from the EARTH ( or did God/Goddess not know what was needed

to assist us from the start ? ) { Or did we create ourselves ? }

I just can't believe the resistance I've met in this world

by those who would have me in the care of Physicians

who only made my problems worse ???????????????

It would be helpful along this journey to know

what the condition of our blood may be -

to assist with NATURAL formulations

but this is RIGGED to be obtainable information

only with a DOCTORS signature - Imagine that !

They call it HEART DISEASE  and ALZHEIMERS

DIABETES and CANCER - when in fact the underlying causes

and conditions are bad food and toxic chemicals -

so how is it that more of the same would fix your ailing body ?

It makes no sense to me at all

but maybe I'm BI-POLAR ?

In Medical School they are instructed in 4 whole hours

regarding NUTRITION and DIGESTION is handled in Anatomy 101

and only as it applies to administration of PHARMACEUTICALS !

So we maybe need a DOCTOR if we MAYBE need a cast -

otherwise it might be wise to EDUCATE YOURSELF -

while many of us are out of touch

with our bodies along with everything else !

It is easier to DO IT WRONG ( bad food bad habits bad pharmaceuticals )

and then turn around and look to someone else ( DOCTOR GODS )

to POOF make it disappear and FIX US !

So ask yourself WHY you have ALLERGIES and

WHY your HEADACHES won't go away and WHY you have

INDIGESTION - ARTHRITIS - MS - HEART PROBLEMS !

WHY is your BLOOD SUGAR unmanageable and your skin a mess of ACNE

and look for the causes - a simple thing like pH balance is at the bottom

of a lot of it - in 6 months mine climbed from deadly 5.0 to 6.6 currently and 

is rising slowly to the desired 7.2 that a human being should be - LOOK IT UP !

( and these numbers mean nothing to those who are stuck

in a system of paying attention only to a number

with a dollar sign in front of it )

but here is the kicker - it means you will have to CHANGE

I am sure and THIS is what no BODY wants to be told -

that you might have to alter your current M.O. and STOP

what you're doing that is making it so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

It's the heighth of selfishness to continue to ABUSE YOURSELF

and then make EVERYONE AROUND you suffer as well !

( I am a CAREGIVER who has seen some situations from HELL! )

And if you discover some NATURAL remedies be ready for controversy

since no one can think beyond the typical AMERICAN formula

for SUCCESS !!! ( And we see how well THAT is working all around ! )

Thank God for the INTERNET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I never thought I would hear myself say this

but INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY is WHY I'M alive today !!!!!!!

And this is only important if you don't wish me to

go away . . .

DOMESTIC VIOLET

Semper Vi ~

SURVIVOR . . from the VORTEX

To speak freely . . .

said George H.W. Bush

in his 1989 Inauguration speech

" . . . for candor is a compliment " -

although

some don't think so

and would attempt tp

curtail

cajole

controlling

from their own levels of FEAR

what comes from the

minds

hearts

souls

and mouths of

others !

"  Don't say that ! "

" Do not speak about

this and that in these ways

and at these times and places " !!!!

" Especially don't mention things

unusual

atypical

controversial -

get back where you belong " !!!!!!! -

making up the rules as they go along

( so of course everyone is breaking them ! )

to fit their agendas -

silencing

the LIBERTY

and desire we ALL have

to question -

to present for inspection

new ideas and information -

to compliment the listener

with TRUST

in what should be a safe arena

for honest disclosure !

Instead we stifle

one another !

Is it any wonder that

some children stutter ?

And some become asthmatic

from holding back -

along with all the other reasons for it !

And some become alcoholic

to unlock their voice -

without impunity they hope -

" He/she was just drunk last night

when he/she indiscriminately open their

big mouth - Love ya man - it's alright " !!!!!

And everyone then goes back to

not talking about the BIG Pink Elephant

as if that makes it go away !

In '89 George H. W. also mentioned

the Drug Cartel and assured us -

" We will make this scourge stop ! "

and though he addressed what we all knew

by then

was going on -

I'm FREE to say we cannot make it stop -

not when some levels of our government

are/have been IN BED with

the Drug Cartels all along -

and with the AMA and BIG PHARMA etc -

and while some would object to me saying this

out loud -

( Hush little Violet - don't say a word . . . )

THIS IS AMERICA

where our right to

speak freely has been

Constitutionally upheld -

but since the the days of George H.W.

an awful lot has gone wrong !

Or maybe it really all began rolling downhill when

Ronald Reagan's brain was finally overome

by heavy metals and the sad American diet

and decisions for US were made with ALzheimers

going on ?

To cite some of  Barack Obama's ideas

on his weekend Whistle Stop Train Tour -

to overcome our problems

requires the same perseverance

of our founding fathers . . .

a new declaration of Independence

beyond our selfishness and

narrowness of interest -

and he insists we can all come together

despite our differences !

What a good idea !?!??!!

It's too bad so many

just like to fight instead !!!!!

And this morning President Barack Obama

told the world

" . . . we gather because we have chosen

hope over fear -

unity of purpose

over conflict and

discord . . . "

What a novel concept

and I noticed 

no one told him

to SHUT UP !

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

When fun was . . .

 made -

of my

painful predicaments -

whether it be

protruding new

" BIG Teeth " and the

protruding  everywhere

Fat Me that

followed from

comfort carbohydrate madness

and/or

the CHAOS of

Domestic Violence -

I learned not to

smile -

and to take abuse -

but

I watched you

carefully

and studied you

closely -

as you extracted some

strange sick

pleasure

from

hurting me and others -

" Fuck THAT !!! " - Sarcastica

and I still can't smile

once in a while -

but

now it's not from

excrutiating

self-consciousness -

cuz I'm alright -

instead

it's just what

happens

when I think of all y'all -

so I just don't so much

and let's thank Shua for that -

( the ONE who is having a birthday tomorrow ) -

and 

Feliz Navidad

to everyone

else . . . !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smilin'  Semper Vi -

Surviving

against all odds

 . . . from the VORTEX

Domestic Violet ~

 

As the . . .

. . . . . . . Falco Peregrinus Returns -

peregrines

plummet

like B-2 Spirit Bombers

built from the raptor’s maps

of aerodynamics

speeding

straight down

200 miles per hour

falcon’s wings

folded

falling

in death rides

from the

sky

so it seems

but

break-neck

acrobatics

become

breakfast for the

raptor

with a flick

of a feather

transversing

the trajectory

heading south

from half a mile

up

graced by

gravity

suddenly

spiraling

colliding

with surprised prey

who didn’t see it coming . . . SMACK !!!!

snagged up for

grisly snacks

with tips of

golden talons

to rise on

thermal updrafts

doing lunch in

cliff-side

condos

with aerie advertising

for the falconidae girls

who join in

spectacular circling

setting up

haggardly housekeeping

moving monogamously to

Venezuela

with the family

for the winter months -

once feudal Samurai status symbols

displayed nobility

on the falconer’s wrist

and ancient

Egypt’s hieroglyphs

eye of Horus

     “kak kak kak “

the raptor’s

chorus -

enjoyed by Shakespeare

Frederick II

Ghengis Khan and Marco Polo

and other hunter gatherers

the wandering

sickle-winged

stealth

succumbed in great numbers

poisoned

during dinner

near extinction

Earth’s fastest moving

creature

no longer endangered by us

grows stronger

with our caring

replaced however in recent

falconry

much to the falcon’s

chagrin

by

the abundant

buzzard . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi  ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

The Pledge . . .

of Allegiance

to the flag

of the United States of America . . .

the land of

the free

and the home of the

brave !!!!!!

Barack Obama is PRESIDENT !

A sea of

people -

American people -

said the pledge together tonight in Chicago, Illinois

and so did I - in my living room

and it was long ago and

far away the last time I recited

" . . . and to the REPUBLIC

for which it stands . . . " !!!

It was a

different world then -

in my elementary school classroom -

not too far from

Chicago -

where something INCREDIBLE

happened today !

Barack's Father -  Barack Sr.

his Grampa - Stanley

his Grama "Toot"

and

his Mother - Stanley Ann

did not live to see him

become

Commander in Chief

but

I guarantee

they know

and so do

300 Million

American citizens

who have shown

extreme amounts of

character content

and spiritual evolution

in electing a Black Man

to lead US to our destiny !

God speed Barack Obama !

It is my experience that

ALL Men are created equal

in their

humanity -

taking one sock

off at a time -

no matter what

their nationality -

and I

don't have a

prejudiced bone in my body -

nor a mean one either

or so my children and close friends tell me !

And because I am neither

mean-spirited

by nature

nor capable of

hatred -

my only prejudice

is against

PREJUDICE -

and I'm not too

wild about

people who are ignorant enough

to see another human being

as less human than themselves

based on the color of

their skin !!!!!!!!!

I grew up in

a predominantly Irish

Catholic community -

A small WHITE town

and I guarantee

you won't find

meaner -

anywhere else around !

I learned the meaning of

PREJUDICE

early on -

when my own blend of heritage

set me apart -

when in fact I am from

Spain and France

Norway and England

Holland and

Germany -

in that order -

and considered

Caucasian !

I am just

HUMAN

and so was my

Italian boyfriend

and my German husband

and the Irish one too -

and the color of their

skin

was never

criterion

for me to LOVE them truly !

And because I'm

old enough to have " been around " -

my observation is that

ALL Men have similar

" stuff "

going on -

fishing and hunting

belching and

drinking

and snoring

all night long !

And I know they

put their pants on

one leg at a time !!!!!!!!!!!

And when relating to a Man of

Jamaican descent -

I guarantee he was

the "whitest" Man

I have ever met !

So anyone who

objects to

Barack Obama

based on the color of his God-given skin

should go " look in the mirror or somethin' "

according to a C-Span caller

as Grant Park Chicago

empties out

where HISTORY was made tonight !

" To those who would

tear down the

world -

we will defeat you ! " - Barack said

and I appreciate his

confidence

and I am behind that

100% -

whatever it takes -

as non-violently as possible !

Cultural diversity

is the essence of

AMERICAN -

and no matter

what happens next -

it beats waking up in

AFGHANISTAN !!!!

I pray that WE the PEOPLE

let him live safely

and that

he MEANS with sincerity

what he

says !

This time

our President

is not

just the President

but he is

a great leader

and

we have been

led

beyond our former

boundaries

as a " melting pot "

of people -

taken beyond

the pettiness

of RACE

to become ONE -

" . . .  one nation -

under God . . . "

maybe for the

first time

and he led us

back around

to ourselves -

to the heart -

that knows no

color

yet many call him

down -

voicing their

fearful

projections -

when although he may become

a great statesman -

he is an even better

salesman -

and sales are

successful -

we know -

when the salesman

overcomes

our objections !

So a vast

MAJORITY

got past

their own

insecurity -

to " get the job done "

and voted Barack Obama IN !!!

God bless us

ALL - fellow AMERICANS

urged by

the gracious loser John McCain

to " find ways to come together "

and he spoke

kindly of

" the Man who was my opponent

and now will be

my President "  . . .  CHANGE has arrived

AMERICA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

It's the countdown . . .

and Barack Obama's 

Grama " Toot "

has left the

scene -

sadly with hours left

and still he forges ahead -

like a real good

AMERICAN !

It's what we do  - like John McCain who

took the beatings

so WE wouldn't have to !!!!!!!!!!!

And we are still alive -

still free -

with the possibility to

thrive once again -

for where there is breath -

there is HOPE -

in times of great

uncertainty !

And what we know about anything

for sure - 

" wouldn't fill a thimble "

as my Grama said !

Thank God for the

Grandmothers !!!!!!!!!!

When we see real CHANGE happen

we'll have a

GOVERNMENT of GRANDMOTHERS

instead of a buncha Men !!!

They can all go Golfing or fishing or

whatever

and let the FEMININE vibration

rule the world

like we used to in days of old -

before they

kicked us out -

burned us at the stake -

so desperate were they for

POWER -

not just power but

OUR POWER -

which they cannot

possess !!!!!!

Have they

wielded their own power

wisely ?

WE have WAR and Economic distress -

corruption and God knows what else !

So much for blind faith in

WASHINGTON !!!

We will ALL be paying real close attention -

I'm thinkin' !!!

I would not want to be

the new COMMANDER IN CHIEF

with 300 million AMERICANS

looking for CHANGE and

congruity !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's a lot of people to

piss off or

make happy !

Good luck to the " new kids "

on the Capitol Hill scene -

whoever they may be

and a  " GOVERNMENT of GRANDMOTHERS " -

was phrased so eloquently by Daisy Dukesup -

a FLOWER Girl/ Grannie among us -

one who gives a care every daycare day

for several small children whose Mothers

have to leave their children to work each day

in the face of OUR economy !

I'm sure we'll not live to see the day

in this millennium -

but I wonder if WE would be in this mess

if our country were run

by more Women than Men ?

H'mmmm ?

I'm just sayin' . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper AMERICAN Grama Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

Have it your way . . .

but

I like what

 I like -

like I LOVE

who I love -

not to be obstinate or

unpopular or

trendy -

but because I have

concluded

experimented

and deduced !!!

For example I tried Vodka

long ago -

found it to be

FOR ME -

a cold

dark

shaky

nasty

drunkeness

compared to

Rum -

so one time when a GUY brought

Vodka

for the 3rd time

I mentioned

again

politely

quietly

that VODKA -

among alcohol choices -

was not my favorite one

and he got

defensive - ( VODKA was probably the cheaper one ! )

forgetting as I reminded him

that I had told him

the first time !!!

And how do I get to be

The BITCH

for simply stating my

preference ???????????????

THIS is what is

oh so wrong

when trying to get along

with just about anyone !!!!!!!

From where I'm standing

I have had a hard time in the past -

landing

when asked -

" What do you want ????? " -

cuz I'm damned if I say it

and damned if I

don't !

YOU will give me what YOU have

decided

deduced and

inferred -

whatever it is

YOU think

I should prefer ! -

Your influence may be

precluded

by your own personal

aim and

that which will benefit YOU

most

is what you bring to the

game !!!!!!!!!!!

So if I want

NOTHING

and have no

choices ( which seems what YOU are hoping )

then i get lost among your

voices

and my lack of

competitiveness

is where I

demure -

" By all means have it Your WAY " !!!!! -

since you NEED it so badly -

and I'll drink

VODKA when I'm with you

and RUM some other day !!!!!!!!!!!

SPOILED BRAT !!!!! - loudly stomping your

uncaring

non - sharing

spoiled foot !!!

I became so sick

from YOUR shit -

I ran

soberly

away !!!

Comprende ?

Or perhaps parle vous ?

If you " get it " -

if you're " with me " -

then keep on reading

and if not - 

then go away !

WE are ALL - each one of US -

subject to -

and responsible for

CHANGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do ya see Stu ?????

and I mean YOU

Stu

Drew

Sue

and Lou

or did you need a

CRISIS to roust you out -

of your lethargy -

toys and

comfort zones ?

Nothing in NATURE stands still -

is constant or stable -

and you better be

flexible

adaptable -

not brittle !!!!!

When selfishness

spills over

the boundaries of its

container -

its rapid action - like battery acid

corrodes everything in its

path -

when fear is a faithful

advisor -

its painful power

is felt

through every strand -

every nerve

every fiber

and every outcome

that terror made possible !

If you stand your ground

against opposition -

not  " DRINKING THE KOOL-AID "

like the Jamestown Jim Jones followers who

drank poison at their leader's

command -

almost a thousand found dead -

a leader who took advantage of

their need for

something to " believe in "

and fed his greed and

need for POWER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  - instead of

fighting to the death for

EVERYONE'S right to

DISAGREE

( A ) will guilt and shame you

for agreeing with

( B ) -

STRYCHNINE anyone ???????

Is it November 5th

yet ?

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

It's that time again . . .

to swing

red or

swing blue -

what will you do

on Election day ?

It seems appropriate to also say

this late October day

that it has been

two years now -

since DOMESTIC VIOLET and the FLOWER Girls

began posting

with intent to

help end the VIOLENCE

we are so fond of

around the world -

in AMERICAN homes and families especially -

and WE are currently involved in

yet another

WAR

and this is

Domestic Violence Awareness month

as well -

the month of astrology's LIBRA sign -

one who shares the symbolic

scales

with those found in OUR halls of

justice -

and it's getting closer to 50/50 -

if our polling is correct

in this race for PRESIDENT

and I pray that

the RIGHT ONE

wins

the 51 percent !!!!

As Michelle Obama said

on day #11 -

" there's nothing like an eighty year-old

grip ! " -

referring to our " not so young "

constituents -

and that's a fact ! -

see category:  Giving a Care for more about that !!!!!

Michelle -

from the south side of

Chicago -

nearest Metropolis to me -

while growing up -

it's influence

traveled easily

the few hours of

distance in between

and I hear

what she is saying -

" Even when you

trip

or stumble or

fall -

you can get back up and

CHANGE your life !!! " -

and this was also told to

Barack Obama

as he grew up

by his family - his wife said

and this

TENACITY

has brought him to -

10 days to go

folks -

until it's time to

VOTE him in or out for President -

" I speak not as his wife -

but as the Mother

the Daughter . . . " - Michelle said

and she's a brave Woman to

offer him up

to whatever his fate may be -

I saw him earlier walking around Hawaii -

visiting the " TOOT " - how cute !!!

Meanwhile -

straight-talking John McCain

without a tie on -

is closing the gap

indicated by polling percentages -

looks like a Country divided !!!!!!

" . . . we thought if

we just got up every day and

went to our jobs

that someone was going to

" take care of it for US " -

Michelle Obama reminds -

" It is ALL ABOUT US " -she said and

" WE can CHANGE THE WORLD "

if we only

try -

AYE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

The loot . . .

the dough

green stuff

wampum

the bread and

dollar almighty

has moved men to

murder -

merely mayhem

currently -

the POWER of

currency

and like lamp light -

no longer a novelty -

certainly

as breath

circulates

with beating heart

surety -

Money

in

Money

out

Money

in

and then

Money out

again -

autonomically

nothing to worry

about -

but will the bandits

who held us up

at gunpoint -

" cooking the books "

without so much as an

affectionate look -

Money 

out -

please come back

with the

loot . . . !!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

Sarah Palin said . . .

" Joe the Plumber

is the winner of last week's

Presidential debate ! "  -

and she said this in Loveland Colorado -

small town AMERICA -

serenaded in by Hank Williams Jr.

She mentioned a banner -

her favorite one so far - she said

and it read -

WELCOME to Sarah Palin - 

I'm Joe the Plumber

and I'm Joe the Electrician

and I'm Joe the Baker

and I'm Joe the this and that

and the other

and I'm Joe the Bricklayer

and I'm Joe the Nurse . . .

GO LOVELAND !!!

Are you ready

Loveland

to put

John McCain and Sarah Palin

in the

WHITE HOUSE ?????

" To CLEAN things up -

not just SHAKE things up ! " as Sarah said

and

attention to Special Needs children

is why she had a Special Needs child -

" not a PROBLEM - they are

a PRIORITY !!!! "

And she cited " AMERICA is not the

PROBLEM - AMERICA is the

SOLUTION !!! "

She mentioned our MIGHT !!!!!

She also cautioned -

" This is not the time to

experiment with

SOCIALISM " -

a heavy implication -

but then

All's fair in love and War -

it has been said

and this battle's final scene

has Winners taken

prisoner -

in the Washington

political machine

which fades to

ORLANDO -

Florida's center

undecided

and Hillary Clinton opens for

Barack Obama's persuasive prompting to go out -

" now is the time " -

out among your fellows -

neighbors family friends -

" to convince "

those who can't make up their minds

and  " tell 'em Hillary sent you to

VOTE ! " - Hillary Clinton said and

proceeded to give us a

Florida 1-800-please-vote number

and a list of

WHO'S WHO in the Orlando audience -

" . . . we're not sending the bull

to clean up the China closet "

and

" a Democratic President "

took care of biz before

and  " will do it again "

according to Hillary Clinton

" a BRUTAL Woman " said Gladiola/eldest FLOWER Girl -

a Czechoslovakian

devout Catholic

80 year old Texan

Republican

and I will bet

she's in the crowd

somewhere !

And then Obama

speaks -

thanking Hillary -

citing  " how tough " she is

and  " how our daughters will rise higher "

because of her

and he mentioned General Colin Powell

as having joined their camp

and that " No CHANGE comes without a FIGHT ! "

that's right !

" WE will not be distracted . . . bamboozled - etc

WILL NOT ! " and

" WE are the United States of AMERICA and

WE DON'T BACK DOWN " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -

" WE take care of . . . let me be clear . . . Main Street "

said Barack Obama citing

John McCain's negative campaign

" ATTACK IS WHAT YOU DO

when you are out of ideas -

out of touch and

out of

time "

JOBS BABY JOBS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOBS BABY JOBS !!!!!!!!!!

the Florida crowd

chanted -

and Barack Obama declared -

" If we can afford to spend BILLIONS of dollars in Iraq -

we can afford to spend $ right here !!!!!!!!!!! -

. . . and the BEST Education

for EVERYONE in this country "

and he made BIG promises

to those who

wish to pursue

greater knowledge

and it will require

study

homework

research

for some of us to cast a vote -

this time !

A Big Man - reminiscent of Abe Lincoln

in stature -

Barack Obama -

with a big polish on his Public Speaking -

his crisp white working Man's shirt-sleeves

rolled up -

with a nice watch on his

left wrist and a

decorative silver bracelet

on his right -

he wears a pale blue-grey tie today -

contemplative color - reflective of the community

he powerfully persuades today -

suspending his Presidential Campaign however -

for his ailing 86 year old Grandmother

for a few days - ( what a guy ! )

but he'll be back !

And will he be

gentlemanly ?

" Attack is what you do . . . " -

as his Orlando speech closes

he's hugging

Hillary -

who attacked him in June

during her attempt to run for President !?!?!?!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

The state of the Nation . . .

keeps taking me

back -

to 3rd grade -

"HISTORY" for the first time

and I cried when

the teacher described

how we lied

to the natives

and took their land

away -

and killed off most of them -

their ladies and their babies too

and their

buffalo -

we took over -

destroyed their way of life

and it's been proven since then -

the type A personalities

that led the way

and the kinds of

motivation -

on a zealous mission -

blazing a trail of

occupation

and stepping over

bodies -

as our forefathers

rolled from

east to west -

while natives to these lands

were sentenced to

death

and near extinction -

and I cried

that day in class -

as others stared and skootched in their chairs

and didn't know where to look

or what to think -

and there may have been one other

sobbing in the back of the room

but the rest were

unmoved -

until the teacher handed me a

tissue -

and then they

made fun of me

at recess -

but I stood my ground

and said -

" IT WAS WRONG ! "

and I've never forgotten

" Our country 'tis of thee "

was gotten

illegally

and it is clear to me

anything obtained

so dishonestly

is sure to have

trouble

ultimately -

it is the natural law -

above us

all -

and I'm sure there are

some remaining natives

on miserable reservations -

land we " let them " have -

a few true owners left -

who are not surprised at all

as the Washington walls

come tumbling down

recently -

And I was an 8 year old

once upon a time -

frightened

sickened

saddened to tears

at the news -

the Great America

was founded upon

deceptive manipulation -

a bullying ruse -

escalating to

broken treaties and

extermination

when

they might have

let us live here

and taught us how to

perhaps

if we had

better manners and if we had asked . . .

and if we had known how to

let live

as well !!!!!!

Instead we had to

" take it " from them

in the style of a

BRUTE !!!

What did we think

was going to happen

later ???

It doesn't get any more DOMESTIC

or VIOLENT than that . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

Presidential debate . . .

between

Barack Obama and John McCain -

after a friendly

handshake -

rolls slowly to the first

bitch slap!

and he hits him

back !

Take that !!!

with a POW !

and a ssSMACK !!!! -

and he throws him

on the floor -

with his Tax -

and a knee to the groin

flips him over -

claiming Health care

reform -

now prone -

and about this time

they really get going -

a direct kick

in the shin

with a sardonic

grin -

but a poke in the eye

from him

wipes the smile

off his face -

a BRUTAL RACE !!! -

boys and girls -

face to face

one last time -

a race of the worst kind -

for President of the United States -

in black and white

for the first time -

and as the tension

rises

he's got him in a choke-hold

brazen and bold

Economic Policy

and then a

roundhouse

knocks him down

9,8,7 . . .

and he's

UP

with a smile

so sweet

and he's light

on his feet -

side-stepping

and attempted

full Nelson -

when the referee tells them

" Your ass is mine

Gentlemen -

get back on track -

we're short on

time " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they came back

around -

all nicey nicey

but the look in their eyes was

rather dicey !

One swallowed a

canary

with a knife behind his back -

and the other

ate some crow -

for show -

and placed a well-trained toe

straight into his opponent's

shin

again -

" Begin again - Finnegan " !!!

the referee

proclaimed -

" Go to your corners and

come out having turned the page -

you are stuck in a

rut of mud-slinging muck

like a couple of gossipy

6th graders " !!!!!!!!!!!

He says this -

He says that -

with occasional

interruptus

and a POW! and a

ZING !!!! -

and the tone and the

WHINE

has a familial

ring -

with another bitch SLAP ! -

that takes him

down

for the

count

6,5,4 . . .

but he rebounds

real quickly -

taunting him with -

" MY dog's BIGGER than

your dog -

my dog's BIGGER than YOURS "

and " here's why my

shit

don't stink !!!! "

Again the referee

changes their direction -

with another question -

a momentary

cluster fuck -

as he tattled and

rattled his

cage -

suppressing

RAGE

at aborting the mission

with a touch of

Equality -

quickly erased by a

deluge

of fear

guilt

and shame

on the wave of

Roe vs. Wade

when he

naively recites

how Education

will help prevent

unwanted pregnancy !

( " Did you hear that Nancy ????? " )

I'm sorry Man -

it's way too late for that -

don't you know ? -

he said with his

condescending eyes

and scanned the audience for

confirmation and approval -

then he reminded every student in the NATION

of their Student Loans debts of

obligation

and he went on to say

finding other kinds of work

for BAD teachers

might be a good idea  -

and he says they left

the Money behind

for NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND

and Sucker-punches his

opponent

in mid-swing -

blocking his  ability

to keep the venom

from his voice -

but hawks the notion of

Transparency

while hiding in the

Bushes -

with his foot sticking out -

in wait to trip

the other guy

as he walks by

and the final flag

comes down

in the last

round -

no holds were barred -

no weapon

unused -

no feathers and tar

however -

both were left bloody

and bruised -

red white and blue -

justified

left and right of

center -

now WE get to

choose

and Joe the Plumber

too !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( is this all there is ? ) -

and one gets

lost

while leaving the ring

as the other one

had so eloquently

illustrated

and he who

displayed

such an interesting proficiency with

sarcastic character

assassination -

I wonder if the White House is

his next destination ?

WOW !!!

EEK !

Now -

do We have any more

choices ?????? -

while MILLIONS of US

cow-tow to

500 Federal EMPLOYEES -

WE need to take it ALL back -

do the MATH -

3,2,1 . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

Barack Obama's Mama . . .

died from cancer

at age 53 -

" more concerned about paying her medical bills

than with getting well " - he said

Will he make it different for us all ?

As giver of care to

aging constituents

I am here to say

the problem

is astronomical

and why should people

who have worked their lives away -

paid taxes for decades -

contributed to our economy -

have to worry excessively

about money

at the end of life ???

Barack's Mother -

a single white mother -

gave to her son - despite "having not"

whatever it takes to be

running for President of these United States

and is proud I am certain -

meanwhile John  McCain's Mom

looks pretty sure her son will

get the job

but I rather doubt

with McCain clout

that she is stressing over her

retirement fund

and her son is not either -

the  "haves"  usually are not -

but Gladiola was on the phone daily

when I was giving her care -

with Doctors -

Insurance companies and

Care giving agencies -

and this she did while sick in bed !

Other patients have similar stories and mostly

their family members and care givers

try to alleviate their stressing for them !

Why can't ill people be left alone to heal ?

I am a care giver because

I know what it is to be

sick

and broken and

broke -

stressing over money is just a way of life

for some of us

but

it never gave me a dime or any more time -

counter-productive actually -

shortening our lives -

while our own government has us living in a

field of land mines over currency

currently !

" In order to fix our health care system

we've got to fix Washington " - Obama said

And what will it be for you and me

when WE are the dying elderly ?????

It's a tall order to right the Washington wrongs

now that they have admitted being broken

and hopefully

someone who gives a care

can get it done !

As the money madness reaches critical mass

will the problem solvers attempt repair by

" driving down the very same path "

from which we've come ??????

There needs to be something new

under the American sun . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

Because I can still . . .

blush . . .

and feel the rush

of the hush

of the moment of

shy -

this is why

the world and its

people

were able to

push me around

and fling mud in my

eye -

because I am not

desensitized -

even after

extensive

Domestic Violence -

instead I am

acutely aware of

pushing and shoving -

physical and other kinds -

and ugliness

bullying and rudeness

have not been

plucked from my sight

just because I embarked to

end the violence

in my life -

Oh NO -

if anything there has been

more -

shown to me -

revealed to my

awakening eyes -

and I swat it away

like the pesky fly

it has come to be for me -

but first I try

to " work it out "

with whomever or whatever -

do " the work "

necessary to establish

peace -

and if the other party is

disinterested or

perhaps desensitized -

I can move away -

move on

now -

wishing them well

with a heart that

works right ~

One night

a Man across my table said -

" You don't blush -

you are not shy -

not You  - Domestic Vi !!!!!!! "

" OH yes I can and

yes I am ! " - I replied

" . . . and I'll bet that

you blush too !!!! " -

and he dropped his

eyes . . .

I wasn't born with

straightforwardness or

command of the language -

I didn't come with

confidence

downloaded !!!

I was born with

a shy streak

that was crippling -

came without

warning or notice -

feeling heat in my

cheeks

more often than not -

growing up

stuttering a lot -

crying on a dime

at all the wrong times -

according to and especially if

YOU

were interested in

" cool " - ( surreal, un-real, non-realness )

and most of you

were -

or presently may be

operating from a

" cool " set of

rules -

difficult for

shy blushing people

to follow -

as you vasilate between

behaving in your " cool ways "

and then when no one's looking

you become

who you really are -

slamming doors at migraines -

confusing to

blushing shy people

like me -

and some of us have

overcome

the crippling shyness

and propensity to

blush -

for the most part -

along with everything else

overcomer's

overcome -

and some of us have

experienced -

along the overcoming way -

the need to " get a grip "

on the shy and blush

by

adapting to the extroverted

side of life -

( I got undressed in the closet

without the lights when I

got married the first time )

and it takes practice -

ask any public speaker -

to speak your peace/piece

without getting

butterflies -

and as a fundamental

introvert

I have a Lone Woman

quiet side that would

surprise you -

I became so good at

behaving otherwise -

and now can frankly -

matter-of-factly

take care of biz -

still  " un-cool " me

according to

cool you -

maybe so when

timing is

everything and

excuse me please

while the rush of

the thought of the

hush of

shy

makes me blush . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

" We DO have an alcohol problem . . .

in this country " -

said Sanford Ungar - Goucher College President

in a recent Washington Journal debate

and

NO SHIT !!!!

Thank God

someone in a SUIT confirmed it

so maybe YOU will believe it !!!

As they ( Ungar and a couple of other suits )

debated

alcohol's rules -

like drinking responsibly

and at what age -

I am sadly aware

of the points not made

in attempts to

" legislate " or not

or

perhaps

the suits don't know

what alcohol is really all about ?

They seem only mildly aware that

a whole lotta kids are

into alcohol

well before age 18  or 21 -

at exactly the wrong time

when the human brain

does not reach

full maturation until

age 25 - approximately

and by then a staggering

percentage of our young people

have consumed alcohol to a point

of saturation

repeatedly and more often than

a suited one can even imagine !

The suits don't  "get"

underlying causes and conditions

as pertaining to

spiritual bankruptcy

as well as physiological

differences !

Approximately 25 %

or greater of the World's Population

are lacking the necessary enzymes

required to break down

the ingested POISON ( should any of us be able to ? )

appropriately enough to

bring about the desired result of

responsible drinking !!!

Some 2 Billion of US or more

are then labeled ALCOHOLIC

for a phenomenon of

craving

                       beyond our mental control -

when in fact

alcohol is a simple

sugar ( the deadliest drug known to man )

and sugar calls US back to it

again and again -

like caffeine and nicotine -

like cocaine -

like heroin -

and now our food and PHARMA-cueticals

are laced with SUGAR !!!! !???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!

The ignorance and hypocrisy in our nation

is reflected when our Military pool is

created by those coming right out of

high school -

yet they are still too young to

drink alcohol legally ( should we be able to ? )

in most states

while our Military does not want

drunken soldiers

but will keep them and send

the pot smokers home !!!!!

I can guarantee

we will not find

a SOLUTION to the PROBLEM

of alcohol consumption

from the same minds

in denial

that created it !!!

We have glamorized

the GREAT TABOO -

lifting it up

with our ideas of

" old enough now " -

now that you've reached the magic ages of

18 or 21

and with marketing campaigns

aimed at the young

while at the same time

PUTTING IT DOWN

as a moral issue

yet not prosecuting harshly enough

the disastrous results

of over- consumption !

There is NO deterrent -

There is no DETERRENT -

THERE IS no deterrent -

not when life is so miserable for

so many of US that we

just want to " get off "

the planet for awhile

and another drink

is as far away

as most of us can get

until

we crash and burn

from our enzyme-less

simple sugar craving

which turns alcohol into

ACETONE

destroying human tissue -

human life and all we hold dear -

a phenomenon you cannot understand

unless you've been there

and

how many suits are picked up for

drunk driving around

WASHINGTON ??? - more than you'd care to

know about - look it up !

We live in a drugged

DRUG CULTURE

and I wonder just how much

the A.M.A. and the F.D.A. really knows about it ????

H'mmmmm ??????

They are part and parcel -

some - not all of course

profiting greatly from

the LEGAL misery of others

who live in PAIN

surrounded by WAR

and are left to deal

ON THEIR OWN

with hopelessness !!! ( should we be able to ? )

Until WE

STOP

the VIOLENCE

against others and

ourselves - ( evidence of our GODless-ness )

a lot of US will be

drunk

and until WE make

NOT DRINKING the POISON

as attractive as drinking

the stupid-making

life-taking stuff

has become

to our young -

we will have

hungover 14 year olds

in schools and

some of us have lived to grow up to

choose

to no longer participate in the

PROBLEM

and

some have lived to grow up

with alcohol as per normal

and are out there

driving around -

and some have grown up to

wear suits and make rules

for me and you

in

WASHINGTON . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sarah Palin is about as fresh . . .

a breath of

air

as I have

inhaled

in a long

long time !!!!!!!!!!

GO SARAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Straight talking Barracuda !!!!!!!!!!!!

HOO-YA !!!!!!!!!!

" The only difference between

Hockey Moms and a

pit bull is

lipstick " - she said

What I want to know

is who was dumb enough to ask

if she would be able to juggle children and

V.P. responsibilities -

when NO ONE EVER

asks a MAN a question

like that ????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO Sarah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO Sarah Palin -

straight to the White House

please

and take your nice husband and family with you and

go to work

FOR ME !

I - Domestic Vi -

AM AN AMERICAN -

and in AMERICA

we need the truth

to be set free

and leadership with confidence

so WE CAN ALL LIVE without

FEAR and

WE need to change our

world -

right here at home -

first things first !!!!!!!!

And Sarah Palin

packs a powerful punch

in an up-do and a

skirt !

She's been kicking ass

up North

in Alaska

for a long time now -

getting things done

and John McCain picked her

for VICE-President

for US -

" I want to stand on

YOUR side -

not in your way " - he said

to US tonight

after accepting nomination

for Presidency

for The United States of AMERICA

at the Republican National Convention

in St. Paul Minnesota

and he suggested calmly

after an audience ruckus

that " Americans want US

to stop

yelling at each other ! " -

" please don't be distracted

by the ground noise and the

static "

and that he  " can't wait

to introduce Sarah Palin to

WASHINGTON . . .

" change is coming " - he said most

assuredly

confidently

certainly

" I work for YOU !!!! " -

and he promises too

" to take on the Washington

corrupt and make them

famous -

you will know their names "  !!!

Referring to the American

people -

" We ( the GOVERNMENT )

lost their ( US ) trust when we put

power before

principles " - NO SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!

He went on to say that -

" Education is the

civil rights issue

of this century " and he

" promises to give parents

the choice and have

schools

answer to parents and

students " and not

the other way around as it is

currently -

and furthermore -

" We're gonna stop

sending 7 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR

to countries that

don't like us very much " ( HOO-YA !!!! )

and

" we'll drill off-shore oil wells

NOW " to meet our immediate

needs !

It is an " ambitious plan " . . .

" We must see threats to our security

clearly and face them . . . "

" He's not afraid of them . . .

he's prepared . . . knows how to stand up

has the record and

the scars to prove it  -

Obama does not ! "

John McCain says he  " hates WAR -

WAR -

terrible beyond imagination " -

and he thanks God for the privilege of being a servant

and learned as a

prisoner of WAR

" the limits of my selfish independence "

and that " every man cannot

always

stand alone "

( This will be news to some people I know )

John McCain  is not running for

PRESIDENT from " personal greatness "

but

" for a country that  'saved me '

and I will for the rest of my days . . . "

He shared that  " nothing is greater than

serving a cause greater than

yourself "

YES

THANK YOU

JESUS
BUDDHA
ISIS

everybody come !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Call upon the HIGHEST POWER

and  " FIGHT ! "

" In AMERICA -

WE change things that need to be

changed " -

" Stand up and FIGHT !!!! "

" We're AMERICANS - and WE

never quit !!! "

THUMBS UP !!!!!

Holy Shua !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raisin' McCain and

Barracuda ! . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

" People go mad . . .

in crowds -

they only come to their senses

one at a time  " -

a Charles Mackay quotation

( from " Extraordinary Popular Delusion

and the Madness of Crowds " )

and in a slightly different

verbiage by Bernard Baruch -

" Man -

it has been well said -

think in herds -

it will be seen

that people go mad in herds

while they only recover their senses

slowly

and one by one " ~

And Jack London's

" The Iron Heel "

poetically expands

the idea with -

" the people of the abyss -

mad with drink and

wrongs -

up at last and roaring for

the blood

of their masters . . . "

And this is why I stay at home

alone

most days-

poetic -

proselytizing perhaps -

processing

the roar of the

the crowd -

the bloodshed -

the madness -

coming to my senses

slowly . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

The condition WE have . . .

. . . been left in -

in the estimation of

Presidential Nominee Barack Obama -

WE THE PEOPLE

of The United States of America

under the current

administration

have been told to

" Pull yourself up

by the bootstraps -

even if

you have no boots ! "

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN !!!!!!!

" No health Care ?????!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN !!!!!!!!!!!

Born into poverty !!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!????

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could add to this list

on a personal note -

" Not behaving the way

control freaks insist you must ? "

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I personally know of

too many of US

dealing with this

scenario -

" Are you extremely ill requiring time to heal and get well -

barely able to function some days -

jobless with no means to pay the bills -

with health insurance out of reach -

confronted with

lack of food

medicinals

understanding and

empathy

so that your only option

seems to be

a 40 + hours per week minimum wage

JOB ????????????????????????? " -

that you are -

in REALITY

unable to do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE DEFINITELY ON YOUR OWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in our Nation's

Republican

status quo !

If Barack Obama

becomes our next

PRESIDENT

and his administration

DELIVERS

even SOME

of what he

SAYS - SPEAKS -
PROFESSES -

CLAIMS to PROMISE the American People -

then WE might have a fighting chance and

his Mama will be

REALLY REALLY PROUD -

that is

IF

those who are truly

in POWER

let him

live . . .

Thy Will Be Done !

No Turning Back !

Yes WE CAN !

Change

Change

CHANGE !!!

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Your Mama is . . .

PROUD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barack Obama !

She told me to

tell you so -

when she touched me

from beyond

and let me feel her

indescribable

AWE

hope and

promise for the future of

ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????

I shed her tears of

joy

and said

aloud

to her son's face

on the Democratic National Convention

screen - " Your Mama is PROUD "

where he is

accepting

in Denver Colorado -

Nomination for The United States of America

PRESIDENCY

and I have never been more

grateful

and more at PEACE with

ESP than I am right now !

" Your Mama is SO PROUD Barack Obama "

let's hope she continues to be . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

The hats I've worn . . .

in the family

dynamic

have been many -

where each member has

a part -

a role to fill and

a job to do ~

The family hero -

the scapegoat -

the lost child -

the clown -

the family fixer

and the caretaker/enabler

are some of the labels

of some of the parts of

the play ~

It is my observation

that some members

acquire

these very real positions

from their own personality

traits and tendencies

and some from their

birth order

but

all are assigned

initially by higher-ups

based on the unconscious need to

protect

perpetrate

cover-up

the dysfunction

handed down

generationally

in their lot

whether they know it or not~

Caretakers and fixers

have intent to

repair

what is wrong with the family

especially if

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Alcoholism and/or

molestation and other such

negative items

are present

in the clan's dynamic ~

The clown brings

levity and laughter

to the messy misery

thereby avoiding any

real intimacy

and is generally born toward

the last of the lineup ~

Lost children tend to be

more silent accommodating types -

unsure of their position -

fading into the

wallpaper

amid the chaos and strife

but

I think that we are ALL

lost children

no matter how much noise we make

or not !

The scapegoat takes

the blame

for all that is wrong

in the family structure

and usually has found

their reward in a great deal of

undue attention

from their negative behavior

and spend their lives

defending

their learning curve

while the rest

focus

their attention

inspection

and subsequent

disapproval -

comparing their lives and M.O.'s

with the willful Wild one

to come up smelling

like a rose

while they do what they do

in the bushes

protected by their

co-signing enablers

and subterfuge abounds ~

The family hero

is the one who can

atone

redeem them all

and whitewash for the

neighbors and each other

when Dad gets drunk and

beats up

Mom -

and the hero gets good grades and

accolades

applause

and strokes for their

accomplishments -

aspires to something higher

than does the family

as a whole

in an effort

to portray

they are really all

okay ~

As the first born in my family

I've worn more than

one hat -

my role changed more than once

as they sometimes can and do -

dependent upon the

need of those in power

at different times in life -

but

I've never been the

clown -

I was much too serious

and burdened by life

for that -

I was initially cast as

the family hero type -

the bright kid with good grades

and great potential -

with a great mind -

the kind that really do

find a cure for Cancer

or something large like that

sometimes !

The extreme environmental

press

of having to be the

only one required to

be an example of the

best

was way too much for me

and I spiraled

out of anyone's control -

abdicated position -

rejected the

assignment -

went A.W.O.L. -

at a younger age than most

back then

resulting in becoming

the newest scapegoated one -

heroically fixing and

caretaking all the way however -

but protesting and pointing to the

problem unpopularly ~

How can this be -

you may say -

when it seems that

Wild children

have not enough concern for

themselves ( precisely! )

much less for others ?

In my case

I was already

programmed

groomed

tuned-in to be

overly concerned for

subsequent siblings

neighbors and

friends

as positions overlapped and

I wore multiple hats -

and fixing all in my Wild path

was my also quest -

need a haircut ?

Hung over in school

in the ninth grade

routinely -

there would be no

bright future

for me -

coming and going from home

as I pleased at 14

yet I kept

an eye on

the whole clan

from seemingly distant

parameters

and I shifted positions with ease

wearing

hero

scapegoat and

caretaker hats

all at the same time

but

inside I was lost as can be ~

Frequently someone from my clan

came running to me

to handle a

threatening buffoon -

scapegoated Wild children are

handy

for the scrapes

others get into -

while routinely

I returned home at will

to assist with the care and feeding

of the younger ones ~

I was an interesting

paradoxical combo -

one whose too many roles

affected the

delicate balance

of the mobile -

when one moves from their

usual position

it shifts

and spins and

rocks

the family function ~

THIS IS NO NEWS FLASH !!! -

no Divine inspiration -

no new or unique perspective here -

not when it was illustrated

well over two decades ago

at the last of a 30 day "vacation"

during treatment for my significant other

for addiction to alcohol and drugs

who came home

and promptly

started drinking

again ~

I was mesmerized

as the facilitators

described

outlined

amplified -

in the REHAB auditorium that day -

what was then some

new terminology

for the spiritual psychology

behind

Alcoholism

as it pertained to

family strife ~

25 years later

I've examined and

experienced

roles and hats of all kinds -

attempted repeatedly to live

sober and

violence free

with no one early on

supporting this notion -

" Alcoholic you say -

well you don't need A.A. -

you're just a BITCH -

quit being a Bitch and we'll ALL

be alright " -

I was told by one

sporting a beer

and when the twelve packs were empty

I was sure to wake up

with a fat lip

a black eye and

fear -

" How did I get here ? "

I queried many times -

inside

and " How did I grow up to

live

my same childhood violent

life ? " ~

It is  JUST WHAT WE DO

until something new

is revealed

to be healed

and we all get to choose it or

not !!!

Most folks do not

want

the inherent discomfort

of the CHANGES required -

some get through family week and

repeated rehab -

jails and alcohol classes -

ankle bracelets and U. A.'s

uninspired -

returning home to

sameness

and its comfort zone -

like nothing ever happened -

the mobile settled down

for yet another round

of dysfunction

destruction

of all we claim to

hold dear

but then

this is the nature of

fear

and ego's need to

maintain status quo -

evidence of human nature's propensity

toward obtuse !

The FLOWER Girls agree and

we're here to say -

IF YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO CHANGE

take the reigns -

hang on to your ass

and throw out the hats

and roles -

nothing worth doing

is done without

sacrifice

and

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

won't go away

without a

fight

paradoxically speaking

you must stand up -

stand firm -

saying and displaying

NO VIOLENCE

in no uncertain terms !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes it's hard -

Yes it hurts

but

you CAN change your life and

send

healthier stuff

down your own family line !

Change yourself -

do your part -

pass it on and

YOU

begin

to change

the world . . .

Domestic Violet and The FLOWER Girls

Semper Vi ~

Survivors . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

$43.00 from . . .

the envelope

fell

with a note

six months later-

he wrote

" Thank you so much

for the reminder

that poverty exists

in our collective

unconscious -

we fear there

won't be

enough

to go around -

we fear lack

when in fact

The UNIVERSE

has abundance

for the asking -

it is WE who won't

share !!!

Thanks for the

reality check Violet -

you helped me

see things more

clearly

and I love you dearly

my friend " ~

He called several months later

to say he had finally

reached the day -

after practicing a

different tack -

the moment came when

he was just O.K. with

bill paying day

and no longer

whined in self-pity -

" I thought I would

let you know

Dear Vi

that I've grown

a little more -

toward the "is"

of the IS, IS

and even tried my hand

at giving

unconditionally -

with no strings attached

and it was new and kind of awkward

but it felt pretty good

to pass it on

without a backward glance !

What I send out

returns

indeed

exactly like you said -

both good and bad

are on their way

back to me -

so my attention

is upon my

intention

today -

instead of letting

false fear

and self-pity

rule the day !

So thanks again

my Violet dear

for standing firm

when others squirm -

for being the voice of

reason

faith hope charity and

clarity !

Peace and

diamond days to you

all of your life

and if I wasn't gay

I'd ask you to

be my wife ! " . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

I'm damned but . . .

. . .I'm done!!!

Damned from the gate

from the zygote stage

groomed for the perfect

excuse

I'm the reason you

married

divorced

or stayed single

I'm the rationale

for the

beating you took

or administered

the reason you screamed

in the night and

all day long

too

the reason you like

to fight!!!!

I'm the one

single-handedly

responsible

for all of your problems in life - that's right!

I'm the reason you're

discourteous

dishonest and

stingey -

the reason you

smell better - than - ever

in your

comparison journey -

the reason you find to be

rude crude

and judgey -

the reason you're

drunk and

above all

disorderly

I'm the reason you

measure yourself

with a different length stick

than anyone else in your life !!!

I was sure if

I

did not exist

all this

horrendous

hypocritical

hideousness

just would not

go on

tried removing myself

from the list

of recipients

of the LIFE - gift

created by

the authentic Power

of the Universe

but according to

you

even God was wrong

too

and apparently I've had

no right to be

here

all along

much less be deserving

of the same courtesy

I have seen you extend

to others

though it might just depend

on how much money they spend and

how current the car they are driving!!!

So I'm done

with your

right-eyed ( nly sees what it wants to believe)

analysis

the kind that

serves

only your

sickening

competitiveness

while you are projecting

that which is true

about you

and you're

stuck in my past

so you think that

I am

too !

Please remember

if you can -

( since you're going so fast

it will probably get past you )

I am done

as excuses for

YOU

not responsible for

what you think or do

or

have done

never will be

clear to the end

and I'm damned

if I do

with you

and damned if

I don't too

and if I want that shit

I'll get married

again!!!

But until then

I'm done

with the one-sided

bullshit

and living beneath

your sightless

magic magnifying microscope

and expertise

about  "how it is done"

when you haven't walked far

yet

or a mile in my shoes

but

you're so busy

concluding

erroneously

with your myopic vision

that you've been

awarded some priveleged position

beyond reproach

but in need of a coach

when of course

YOU are deserving of

back -up

(#12 from your list

of your rules that are different

for some of us

than the rules you seem to have for

yourself)

cuz you're just a big chicken

which prompts me to feel

a great sadness and pity

cuz that's what I do with

folks like you

who are possibly praying

to a much smaller

god

than I do

so I'll close with the truth

( found in everyone's left eye )

and tell you

I'm done

wishing much love and all good things

under the sun

for you and

you and you . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

 

$43.00 to . . .

. . . my name ~

some days have been

of the

stone variety

and some have been

diamonds -

illuminating

multiple figures

and most days are

in between -

as is the case for

most of us

but

the real deal

in rolling with

the roller-coaster

MONEY is

has really to do with

what you

do

about it ~

The fastest way

in the past

for me to become

frozen

in one spot -

unable to

think

breathe

move

much less

decide

what to do -

was the terror of

financial insecurity

which proves

that

until we conquer

our fears -

they will stay

and dictate the days

all through life -

so today I am

almost

as calm

when the day is stone

as when the day is

diamond -

blinding with its

light !

Money in -

money out

and with no end in sight !

This was the basis of a

groundless fear -

that one day it would

stop -

run out -

no more -

end -

fini !

" Money comes -

money goes -

an energy form - like electricity "

I told a man

one day

years ago

who complained

while writing checks to

cover monthly expenses

for

his good life -

" Do you have enough

green stuff

geodes

loot

wampum

in your account

to pay it all ? "

I asked

He replied that

" Yes indeed "

there was plenty

but

he did not like

parting with

it -

" giving it away " - he said

I responded that

" I'm real happy

while writing checks to

pay my bills and

even more ecstatic

when there is enough to cover

ALL of them ~

" When it's a

diamond bill paying day

I'm happy as heck !!! "

" I never thought of it that way "

he said thoughtfully

" I guess I'm whining - aren't I ? "

" Yes and you can

stop

anytime

and refuse to feel

deprived !

Be grateful for

ALL you have -

and more will

follow -

don't be afraid to

let it go -

and know

you lose nothing when you

give -

just be glad you can and

open your hand

heart

and mind

and I think you will

find it much easier to

resist the paralysis

that locks you in

a messy bog of

self-pity -

unable to do anything

but freak out !

If you are not happy with

"not enough"

you won't be happy

with "much"

as well ~

Today I am

okay

either way -

and you may take the seed I planted

and give it life

or you may let it dry

among the dusty rocks and

blow away . . . "

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

Check out the Woman . . . . !

.  .  . in the

Moon

playing peek - a - boo

with the clouds -

a spark

whose beacon widens and

then goes

away .  .  .

fine indigo stratus

wisps

streak across

eyes

lips

cheeks

and her

expression

kaleidoscopes

contrasting

whitest white

of her

moonlight

with the blackest

black

known to Man

as darkness

covers her up

entirely

momentarily -

cotton candy streams

from ghostly

edges

then

she slips her head

up -

bashful to be

seen -

and hides away

again !

I look away

to pray

and give her

privacy

when

suddenly

the curtain comes up

and the

Lady -

as straight up

as I've ever seen her -

appeared

full-faced

cumulusly surrounded -

a haloed

             Goddess

in space -

her faceted

edges

quite clear

this time and

she smiled back

in return

while

down her left

cheek

streamed the

tear

that means

this month -

it's the

girl ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

Humor . . .

. . . is in the

funny bone

of the

beholder !

What tickles you

may not

tickle

me

and vice versa ~

I know I don't

have your sense of

levity

perhaps

but that doesn't make it sad

or bad -

in fact the only bad thing

about humor

is not having

the sense

of it

at all -

I know I

did not

for the longest time -

taking EVERYTHING

way too

seriously ~

I was Cabernet in a

bota

dressed in black

with a

book

or several going at the

same time -

a walking

dichotomy -

twirling a

baton

and I

just couldn't see

why you all

were

amused -

what you all thought was

so funny in life

when

around every corner

there was

trouble

for sure

and life was too

painful

to crack a smile

at

but that was then

and this is now

and no matter what

happens

I search for the humor -

smiling quickly at life

and the lessons

in it -

taking care to know

where

my feet are !  . . .

( see post: Feet )

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

Feet . . .

. . . are quite scary

to me -

always have been

when some toes are

the ugliest things

I have ever seen

so

as a child I learned to look up

and around and

away from

your toes and my own -

especially frightful

ones

yet they carried me

everywhere

I've ever been and

when I had yet to

take responsibility

for

my life

it was as though

my feet had a will of their own

taking me to places

I didn't belong ~

When I sought Peace -

finally -

I knew not how to

search

and in my quest

I learned to look

beyond a

book -

I learned to

seek

down at my feet -

not in the clouds -

but right on the ground

the answer lay

after I searched

everywhere

forever and a day -

running tither and

yon

showing up for the

sound

voices carry -

no Peace to be found

around

towns

without pity -

where the heartless

are haunting

and hateful -

I'm so grateful

that I can

feel

sorry for

them

while wherever

my feet are

is exactly where

I'm supposed to be

at any given point

in time

and has

always been -

no mistake

no error

no crime

in a path

that was

mine -

while some ugly feet

went elsewhere

and sometimes danced

behind my back

unbeknownst

to me

as I looked up

and way from

Twilight zone toes

and now I only go

where I

wish

as usual

but where I want to

show up

is different

these days

so my feet carry me

to the company

of those whose

toes aren't so ugly -

since I stopped looking

away

from the

reality of ugly feet

and wherever

I go

I am

where I'm at

when I'm

there . . .

Peace

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

Hands . . .

. . . she once said

" a most interesting

study . . .

and she trailed off -

leaving me to ponder

the seed ~

She had a Psychology

Ph.D.

and a cane

and a flowing

white

mane -

a steely - eyed

hawk

of ample proportion -

cushy and warm

and could be

almost Grandmotherly

when she wasn't

shrinking me ~

" I finally trust you "

    I finally said -

after almost two years

of meeting her weekly

for coffee ~

She nodded and

smiled -

" Trust is not a given

and should take

time " - she replied

And I was painfully

reminded

I had not learned to give time

time

with the people in

my life

and I was

therefore

here with her

for the 98th hour

So I said -

" You have given me

so much

in our relationship

that I feel

I should say

the most important

is the ability

for honesty without

penalty -

to say openly

fearlessly

I did not trust

and did not know

until the moment

I knew it -

thank you so much and I'm here

for you

if there's ever anything

I can do to return your kindness  " -

and I got up to hug her ~

" And you are

amazingly

mentally healthy

for one who has had

your life

experiences "

she replied

and that was 20 years ago -

when everything coming

had not happened

yet ~

" . . . that which is unspoken

is captured

with each gesture

by our hands . . . "

she expounded

" revealing more than we

say out loud or

realize  . . . "

Her own hands fell silent

in her lap

while I ranted

my usual bitch and moan

of denial

fingers punctuating the air

hands waving

with every word

to make my

point -

telling  all

my life story

good bad and ugly

to a wizened

and wise

sober long time

octogenarian

in a

house-dress and

appropriate shoes -

her credentials

in a frame

above her

desk ~

As we became good friends

many first times

happened there -

where I first knew

that " running away "

from my

environment

was

the only thing I

could do ~

" It is

in fact

what sane people do -

they move away

instinctively

from the source of

pain " - she said

" For any problem

ask yourself what a

sane person would do and

do that " - she suggested

" Oh - I don't know ?!? "

I replied

" Yes you do - we all do -

unless our brains are damaged -

if we get real honest from inside -

we all know what a sane person

might decide

but we just don't want to

do

what might not be so much

fun

that's all ! " - and she

smiled ~

By then I had a warped instinct

regarding

survival

firmly in place -

I had learned to stay

too near the flame -

was singed and

burned

steaming and

venting -

healing slowly

in the safe company of

the larger - than - Life

elderly Woman

with a brand new

diamond ring

on her left

hand -

relaxed upon her

lap

while

both my hands

flew around wildly -

Latin style -

emphasizing

every other word I spewed

like I saw

growing up -

feet and fists flying -

and was able to -

in the comfort of her

presence -

discuss the

confusion

I felt

when the same hands that

will harm you

then try to reach out and

love you up ~

"  . . . you seldom talk with

your hands

or much about

your life  ? "

I queried and

with a rare flutter

she reached to brush at

her hair

above her wire-rimmed glasses

and said -

" I save my energy for

where it is needed -

directing my focus

to clarity in

my utterance " -

and then she told me

of early days -

of marriages -

of Men and children and

Women's rights -

bad schools of

thought -

bad neighborhoods and

difficult family matters

and Wars -

Booze and her

last drink

30 years before ~

" I gave it all up

and went after

this -

with a hand

waved around the room

"  . . . and my fond wish for

you

is that all you were

created to be and do

will come to and

from you !

You are so much more than

your circumstances

allow

but you have an

intuitive strength

that will take you

far  . . . "

she smiled -

" 'Tis your choice! " -

and touched her heart

with her hand ~

" And next month "

she went on to say -

" I will marry

one final time -

a Man who for

many years

has been my

best friend

through thick and

through thin " ~

I was there

when they wed -

when a handsome elderly Man

with an oxygen tube

gracing his beautiful nose -

slipped a Wedding band

on the third finger

left hand

of his lovely bride -

supported by her cane

as they vowed to

" give a care "

until death do . . .

and they waved

with a smile

and had

Love

for awhile

holding hands

on the night

they both

died . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX

 

 

 

 

Tears in my ears . . .

. . . after a long day of

under the hood of the car

action -

spewing forth of

expensive "specifically for the car"

anti-freeze

all over the place

and a squeaking power steering

column

no matter how much fluid

added -

squealing and overheating

every where I've

had to go

today ~

As I unload the

STUFF

we all must have

more of -

"but please - only food and water for me" -

I mutter under my breath

as I put it all

away

while doing laundry

too

and then I

touch

a cabinet door handle

to find its

screws

loose -

which immediately

goes upon my

LIST

of lists

of things to do -

and I say -

to no one home

but me

and the fish and

the neighborhood cats

and flowering fauna

and even the weeds

have flowers

today -

I say out loud -

" I don't want to see

another thing

fall apart

today " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as I pull a dish

from the dish draining rack -

no dishwasher here

or anywhere ever

before this

place

yet -

but

why ?

when I'm going to

wash them first

anyway ???

And then a heavy glass is

         airborne

suddenly back-spinning

at me

and two bowls

also glass

and some silverware

go

          flying

clattering           scattering

shattering

around me

like enemy fire -

renders me

silent

and still

until

I'm doubled over

breathless -

snot bubbles exploding from my face

laughing

hysterically

from my gut

until

tears are in my

ears

but not from

lying on my back

crying over

you . . .

Domestic Violet

Semper Vi ~

Survivor . . . from the VORTEX