a
drink -
then the drink
takes a
drink -
then
the drink
takes the Man . . .
old Chinese Proverb and
we all know
drink is drug
is drink is
drug -
Sam Ting !
And " too much of a
good thing
isn't good for ya honey " - Janis Joplin
was heard to say
back in the
day
and then More More More
some 90's Rockers sang -
shopping Doc's to get the job done
just like way back when -
as every drinker/druggie
MUST
in order to
be
one -
with only alcohol and prescribed pharmacuetically dispensed
drugs
being NOT ILLEGAL to
harm ourselves with !!! ??? !
And I'm grateful today
for limited
funding -
for small numbers in
accounts
all along -
never
enough
getus
wampum
loot
to do myself in
completely
and I don't even know what
immediate gratification
is
in the larger sense -
beyond some years
of bars and beers
and whiskey and the
mix -
so I cannot really
imagine
having
whatever I want
whenever I want
however I want
it
with lots of folks
doing as I say
at all hours of
the night and
day
and if I just throw enough
money
at IT
then IT's mine !!! ??? !!! ??? !
What price fortune
and fame !!?!!
I have no clue -
( do you ? ) -
what LIFE might be like when
EVERYone
knows your name - like Michael Jackson
as I write anonymously
for an audience of
none
and am free to walk into 7-11
and go wherever I
wish -
and while I can't
relate to what his life has been
in that sense
I do know
actions speak
more loudly
than
words
and when the family of Michael Jackson
came to help him
and the KING
turned them away
without a word -
nothing further to
say
for a long long
long enough
time
that they learned
to NOT GO
THERE !!!!!!
" There " where they will be shunned
for not going along with
the priorities of
the addict
in pursuit of
the drug of choice -
and it's the TOOL
most used
by alcoholics
addicts
emotional blackmailers
and control freaks
and I envy the life
blessed with
scarcity of this !!!
And Michael must have seen
an abundance of it too
as this kind of
control device
does not
occur
among folks who
have never
seen it
done -
or those with no race to
run -
no ribbon to
win -
no axe to grind
and no substance
to shield -
and I see through his
celebrity
more humanly -
the human-ness in his
humanity -
doing what he must
to survive - Goddess/God Love him
and tryin to
get some
peace
and I know what it is
to not
sleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
for days
and weeks
even when stone cold sober for
years
and I intuitively knew
early on
that
it would
be a bad idea to
take high-powered
chemical sleeping aids
and usually had no wampum
for drugs - good or bad
anyway
so I legitimately illegitimately suffered ( read: The Road Less Traveled )
and just stayed awake
with chronic crazy-making
sleep
deprivation
going on
but I
didn't have to
get up in the morning and be
Michael Jackson -
I only had to be the Mother of three toddlers and
an adolescent
while suffering
INSOMNIA
for four straight months
once
but
like Michael
being me is a _____ job
that someone has got to
do
and I did have to
show up
too
also
and take care of babies and business
anyway ( despite anything and ALL ) -
showing up
when I could
where the object of my
addicted affection could be found -
drinking late into the night
without YOUR consent
and despite YOUR protestations
and even showed up in Recovery
without YOUR suggestion
support or
validation
so I might
know
that
if his " shutting down not talkin to ya " deal
was real
then it helped him die
too young
because shutting off the flow of LOVE -
the give and receive -
and being as a God in the lives of others
will take you
down
and
out
without
PHARMACUETICAL or any other kind of
DRUGS
which merely symbolize
there's somethin wrong wit cha
INSIDE !
How ya doin
so far ???
Still standing ?
Or folded in a chair
which ya must be
cuz ur reading
me OMG
and I know
there are worse things than
death
in this life
and Michael is finally
free -
though we all keep
saying R.I.P.
I have a feeling
no one is going to
let him
for a long long time
or anytime soon
and he's somewhere
" perched in a crescent Moon "
I'm sure
like Brooke Shields said
of the Michael she knew
as a 13 year-old girl
child-star too
and I will bet
he is Moonwalking in sepia
with his shirt-sleeves rolled
up -
Woo hoo hoo ooo
from the other side
and he's looking at you and he's looking at me
from a place where his face
doesn't matter -
where all the world's
money
won't
spend -
where
" He who has the most toys
dies
and leaves them all
behind -
what really matters in the end
is if he has been
kind " . . . (from: Stuff - D.V. 1992 )
Michael Jackson
" was kind . . . "
according to his friend Niko Brando
" . . . a really great
person "
whom he readily defends -
such are friends -
and he " WROTE DOWN "
everything
he was interested in
or did not fully understand -
when he was a young
young man -
to research it " - according to Patty LaBelle
and she watched the knowledge thirsty boy
become
the Peter Pan Man
wearing Fred Astaire's
fedora
and after studying the GREATS
in literature
music
art
he took a piece
however small
of them all
and he became
one
who would be KING
in the world of
entertainment -
the Greatest Performer
the world has ever known -
but
then
the Man takes
a
drink -
and then the drink
takes . . .
Domestic Violet
Semper Vi ~
Survivor . . . from the VORTEX
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