" . . . . you are somewhere else
a voice said softly
suddenly -
shocking me
from my reverie -
and then he spoke again -
" Wow it's like
you meditate
when you twirl your
baton
don't you " - he said thoughtfully
in almost a whisper as if he were thinking
aloud
and I stopped the momentum
abruptly
with my
little finger -
extended my free hand
and
introduced myself to the young man
at the bottom of the
stairs -
where I lived briefly -
down there
in the quiet -
but
I never knew
when
what or
who
would appear
down the wooden steps
from above -
out of
nowhere -
suddenly and without
warning
cats
dogs
clothes
shoes and
a tricycle once -
independent of its
driver
who had bailed
way back up at the top
step
and was
wailing safely in
her Mother's arms
when I went up with the trike
to inquire if the driver were alright !
That day's surprise however
was a handsome young man
with amazement in his eyes -
eldest son of the
Gardenia
who lived up the stairs in 2002
and down the stairs flew
laundry
empty boxes
and things someone up there
didn't know what else to do with
in a cleaning
frenzy
and people of all shapes and sizes
but mostly the
Gardenia
would appear periodically
in her flamboyant kind of
little-girl style -
back when she was
still alive -
when
she was my friend and I lived in her house
before her life was taken by
a knife-wielding man
and among her family and friends
it was her oldest son I had not yet met
while his younger 19 year-old brother
lived on my ceiling
day and night
LOL
and the eldest one
startled me -
pleasantly so
once I got the adrenaline hit to stop -
surprised me with his
presence and
insight
slightly out of my peripheral and
to the right
and what he didn't know was how instinctively
I almost hit him
with my baton
and I had to
adjust
real quick
in a second
split -
and like the Gardenia
he had the blondest hair and bluest eyes
now wide in amazement
at the trance-like state
he found me in
and I thanked him for his
observation that I was in total
relaxation
as I spun around the room and effortlessly
threw a 17+ inch baton into the air
and caught it again twirling at top speed
on the way down
to my
feet
and I was
coming up from there
when I saw him standing there
out the corner of my
eye
and to this day I am amazed
that someone found the words
and gave to me
an outside look at blissful
meditation
when all I know is that I don't know
when that is going on
and the hard part of attempting intentionally
a state of meditation is that
' if you know you are in it
then you are
not ' - to paraphrase Siddhartha ( the Buddha )
and to see this and say so was
most amazing
coming from one so young -
maybe pushing 22 at the time -
and he asked me to show him how to
twirl
so I did
and I emphasized the
ALLOW as being key -
rather than MAKING the baton move
as I LET IT roll
through my fingers -
once the momentum is started -
by letting the heavy top
at 12 o'clock
drop
from the point of
balance
in the palm of my hand
and it has a life of its own then -
continuous energy
effortlessly
if I quickly
keep my fingers
out of the way
as I give it the
subtlest
guidance
and neither of us could have known
there would come a time we gather again
for his Mother's funeral -
a Woman who would never have willingly
left her young Sons
or her Life on this Earth -
a FLOWER Girl among us
who did not
SURVIVE
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
at its worst -
not ever
forgotten
by
Domestic Violet
and the FLOWER Girls
and we hope that her family and friends
have found some kind of peace by now
and particularly pray for her eldest boy
as there was initially a very
violently self-destructive reaction
to her death -
like returning his Grandmother's car to her
with bullet holes in it
from the bad company he began keeping
after Gardenia was taken from us
and
of course he was in a rage all the time at his own
POWERLESSNESS -
understandably so -
and I haven't seen him for a very long time
so I don't know
but I hope he's whole and happy
like his Mother wanted for him
and maybe meditating
somewhere else
while twirling
his
baton . . . . .
Domestic Violet
Semper Vi ~
Survivor . . . from the VORTEX
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